a girl, escaping her family’s home had been a big part of her plans for her future. Now, Shadow would make a success of Mother Comfort and secure her independence—financial as well as emotional—from anyone else. She would never be poor again, and this was to be part one of the newer plan she’d formulated in the night. She should tell him what she’d come to say, then leave, let him digest the news on his own. But then, Grey had just had news of a different sort.
“Guess I’ll have to tighten my belt another notch,” Grey said at last, as if reading her mind. “I’ll be downright skinny soon.”
Shadow tried not to care. She stared at her shoes and lost her nerve, yet something drew her to stay. She hated to admit it was that look on his face and the hard line of his mouth.
She and Grey weren’t together anymore, never would be again, but she had loved him once and her stubborn heart kept revisiting better times. Being home had only made that worse. More importantly, they shared a lifetime bond, one Grey didn’t know about. This wasn’t the right time to tell him after all.
As if her mouth wasn’t connected to her brain, she said instead, “Maybe a bigger bank in Kansas City would grant you a loan.”
“Been there, done that. No deal.” He toyed with the fork again. “I think I’m a pretty good manager—better than that—or I was, until a few months ago. Then things started happening and keep on happening, and now this bank loan, and I can’t help wondering if my dad was right to leave Wilson Cattle in my hands, even on a trial basis...”
“All is not lost,” she said and tilted her head to look into his troubled eyes. Grey cracked a faint smile, as if he couldn’t help himself. She’d always been able to talk him out of a bad mood after one of their many disagreements in the past. They’d been able to make each other laugh even at the worst times—until tragedy struck and they couldn’t laugh, or love, any more.
“Now see what you’ve done.” He waggled his eyebrows. “We always did make a good pair, Shadow.”
“We did not.” He gazed back at her, and her pulse skipped a beat. “Grey. If we were going to hitch ourselves together like a couple of oxen, we’d have done so long ago. You know why we didn’t.”
Shifting her gaze, she stared at a point just over his shoulder. Maybe she shouldn’t have come back to Barren, or stayed, or even walked across the street today. Ten years hadn’t been long enough to quell her memories, including the good ones, and every time she saw him she also thought of what might have been. That is, before the other, worse memories flooded her mind.
As if he’d thought the same thing, Grey stopped smiling. His eyes were the color of dark jade now. “We live in the same town, Shadow. We see each other now and then...when you aren’t trying to keep away from me like you did at my nephew’s birthday party a few weeks ago. Or when you’re not answering your phone. You knew I was going to call.” He glanced toward the street. “Why give people something more to talk about?”
“I’m not the one who caused that—after what you did—”
“What your brother did.”
She lowered her voice. “Because of you, my brother will never have a ranch or anything else to lose.” She blinked back a sudden rush of tears. She hadn’t cried since she was seventeen—ten years ago. She wouldn’t cry now, but her voice trembled. “Jared doesn’t have a life. There’s nothing you could say, nothing you could do, to fix that. To bring him back,” she added.
People were openly staring now. In one way, she and Grey were alike, the stars of Barren’s own reality show. Their waitress came to take their orders, but Grey waved her off. “Give us a minute. Thanks.” His voice stayed quiet, too, but his eyes were intense. He waited until they were alone again. “I didn’t...kill him, Shadow. You either believe me or you don’t, which you obviously still don’t.”
“Neither does anyone else in this town.”
Grey said, “If I had any way to prove myself to them, to you, I would.” He paused, watching her with those sharp blue-green eyes. “Come on,” he said. “You and I were a couple once. We even picked out baby names. I still remember your favorite.”
Shadow felt herself turn pale.
“Why did you come in here today, anyway?” Grey asked. “I doubt it was to have lunch with me.”
“I—” She couldn’t find the words. Shadow caught the pointed gaze of a woman in the booth across the aisle who’d been trying to control her two young children, then had given up to focus on Shadow and Grey. “I have something to tell you. It’s—important.” Life-changing, really, she wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Fine. Let’s take this outside.”
Yet, how would she phrase what she had to tell him after all these years? She hadn’t thought this through carefully enough, and Grey was already hurting, worried about the fate of his ranch. In a show of compassion she wouldn’t have considered last night, Shadow decided she couldn’t blindside him after he’d already suffered such a blow today.
“I really can’t stay. I have appointments this afternoon, and if I don’t start now I’ll be late. I’ll be in my office all day tomorrow.” By then, she’d know exactly what to say. “Come see me anytime.”
“Shadow—”
She was already sliding toward the end of the booth when Grey said, “You’re...okay, aren’t you? Not sick or anything?”
“No, not sick,” she said, standing to block the woman’s view from the opposite booth.
“I’ll be there. Tomorrow.” Grey held up a hand. “Before you run off, I heard from Logan the other day. Did you get a call from Blossom?”
At the mention of their mutual friends, who’d recently become engaged, she turned back. “No, why? Is something wrong?”
Grey’s gaze held hers. “She’s going to ask you to be her maid of honor.”
Shadow blinked. The change of topic had taken her by surprise and was almost welcome. “Really. I’ve never been in a wedding before.”
He eyed her through those dark lashes, taking his time before he said, “You’d look real nice in a long white gown.”
She swallowed. This hadn’t gone as she’d hoped, and neither would trying to talk about something else. “White is for the bride. More likely, I’d have to wear a dress I wouldn’t wear to my own funeral.”
The last word hung in the air like a fresh reminder of everything that stood between them—a fresh reminder of Jared.
“Blossom has better taste than that,” Grey said, and Shadow winced. She’d only heard secondhand about bridesmaids’ dresses.
“I shouldn’t have said that. Blossom has every right to be happy without my mood spoiling things. She should pick somebody else.”
“I’ll leave you two to settle that,” Grey said. “Fair warning, though—Logan’s already asked me to be his best man.” He held her gaze for another long moment, then added, “Which I am.”
* * *
