shocked to see her, he’d visibly relaxed the instant his brother had walked away. Still, something seemed off about him, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was. Of course, part of her would now always feel uneasy around him, due to the way he’d handled their breakup.
“So, tell me, Vanessa, how long have you been in town? And more importantly, why are you here?” With his sandy blond hair and hazel-green eyes, when he turned on the charm, Seth could make women melt. Once, when she’d been particularly vulnerable after losing her parents, he’d affected her this way, though they’d been friends first.
“I just got in this morning,” she replied, resisting the urge to tell him her trip had been made impulsively. “I’d hoped to stay a night or two and do some skiing while I was here, but it seems every place is completely booked.”
“They are.” He sat back, the slightly smug tone in his voice at odds with his sympathetic smile. “This time of the year is our busiest. A lot of wealthy, important people spend their holidays with us. They book their rooms months in advance.”
“With us?” she echoed, before remembering he was employed as hotel manager at The Lodge.
“But no worries,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “If you want to ski Pine Peak, you should. You’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you want.”
She squirmed, once again remembering his out-of-control anger when she’d broken things off. He’d punched a hole in the wall, and the violence of his reaction had terrified her. She’d cringed away from him, startled and afraid, at which point he’d stormed out. Nope. She didn’t think she’d be staying with him now. “That’s very kind of you, Seth,” she replied, choosing her words carefully. “But I didn’t come here to see about the possibility of us getting back together. I felt bad about the way I broke things off and realized I owed you an explanation.”
“I didn’t think you wanted to get back together.” His expression darkened. “And, no, you don’t owe me an explanation. I get it. I’m over it, Vanessa.”
“Maybe so, but please let me talk.” Swallowing, she hesitated. “I’d feel much better.”
“Fine.” He took another long pull of his beer, then set the empty mug on the table with a thunk and gestured at the bartender for another. “Go ahead and unburden yourself. Even though I basically figured it out when you wouldn’t sleep with me. Not once, the entire time we were together.”
Wincing, Vanessa glanced around, hoping no one had overheard. She told herself she shouldn’t blame Seth for being deliberately cruel. She might have been the same way had their situation been reversed. After all, she’d done him a great disservice. Not only had she ruined their friendship, but she’d also let him think she might be able to love him. “Please don’t be like that,” she began. “You and I were always friends before we were anything else. I hate that we’ve lost that.”
The bartender brought over another beer for Seth and asked what she’d like. She ordered a glass of chardonnay and waited until the man had walked away before continuing. “One of the things I’ll always be grateful for is how you were my rock when I fell apart after my parents were killed. Seth, you saved me. I’ll never be able to repay that. But…”
“But I fell in love with you,” he said, finishing for her. “And you didn’t feel the same way.”
Was it wrong to feel relieved that she didn’t have to spell it out? Sighing softly, she murmured, “Exactly.”
“Then why did you accept my proposal?” He searched her face. “I can understand everything else but that. Why would you agree to marry me if you didn’t love me?”
Her gut twisted. Not so easy after all. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” she explained, aware she might be making a mess of this. “And to be honest, I found myself clinging to…” Aghast at what she’d almost said, she stopped, searching for another way to explain she’d chosen what had seemed safe and familiar, and that she’d been briefly afraid of being on her own.
“I get it,” Seth interjected, once again inadvertently rescuing her. “To tell the truth, I think I knew all along that you didn’t feel the same way I did. I just wanted…” He took a deep breath. “More.”
She nodded, aware that acknowledging the pain in his voice might be worse than pretending not to hear it. “I’m sorry, Seth. That’s what I came up here to say. I don’t think I can love anyone right now with my life in such an uproar. You deserved more. We both do. When you wouldn’t take my calls, I felt like I needed to explain in person. Maybe understanding why will help you move on.”
“I’ve already moved on,” he informed her.
Her wine arrived. Grateful, she smiled at the bartender before taking a sip. “Perfect,” she said. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” The man moved away. When she looked across the booth, she saw that Seth watched her intently, his eyes narrowed into slits. Again, she felt a shiver of unease, which was ridiculous. Emotions had been high that day. Enough time had passed and she knew Seth would be calmer now.
After all, he’d never raised a hand to her.
Still, she suddenly realized she wanted out of there, away from him. She’d done what she’d come to do and now maybe they both could have closure. Digging in her purse, she extracted a ten-dollar bill and laid it on the table next to her still-full glass of wine before rising to her feet. “Thanks for listening,” she said, hoping her smile looked more genuine than it felt. “I’m going to head out now. It was great seeing you.”
“Wait.” He stood as well. “Please don’t run off, Vanessa. I accept your apology.” He pushed out a breath from both cheeks. “I’m really hoping we can still be friends.” He pinned her with his gaze, his hazel-green eyes earnest. “Can we? We have a long history of friendship. I’d hate to lose that.”
How could she resist? After all, that’s what she’d wanted. She’d missed their friendship. Slowly she lowered herself back into her seat. “I’d like that,” she said, wondering if it was really relief she felt, or more gratitude that he truly seemed to be over her.
“Great.” He pushed her wineglass toward her. “Enjoy your wine. It’s been a while since we talked. I’m sure we have a lot to catch up on.”
Instead, they ended up discussing only generalities, like a couple of strangers on a first date. The closing of her favorite Irish bar in Boulder, the skiing up at Sunlight Mountain near Glenwood Springs…
“Have you skied Pine Peak yet?” Seth asked. “I like it a lot better than Sunlight. It’s got some great black-diamond runs. Of course, I’m prejudiced since I live and work here.”
She thought of her skis, still strapped to the roof of her car. “Not yet. I was hoping to do that while I was up here.” Taking a sip of her wine, she shrugged. “Maybe another time.”
“How about tomorrow?” He grinned at her over the rim of his beer mug. “It’s best first thing in the morning, right when the lift opens. I like to go before work. Come with me?”
“I’m tempted,” she admitted. “But like I said, there’s not an available room in this town. Believe me, I’ve checked.”
“I told you, you can stay with me.” He held up a hand as she started
