what I’ve heard, you’re the man to do that.’
Nathaniel slid his hands into his pockets. ‘I looked you up once. And Rafael mentioned that you’ve built a successful design business. You’ve done well.’
‘And you. I haven’t congratulated you on your Sapphire. I saw the film. You were incredible.’
For a moment Nathaniel thought about confessing how empty it all felt, how meaningless, but his tongue wouldn’t form the words. What had Katie said? Playing someone else is so easy for you, Nathaniel—it’s being yourself that you find impossible.
‘Have you been inside the house?’
‘Yes.’ Jacob glanced at him. ‘Do you want to take a look?’
They walked, and Nathaniel was surprised by how easy it was to be with his brother. Easier than being in the house.
Pushing open that heavy oak door, he shivered. So many ghosts, he thought. So many secrets.
‘He’s gone.’ Jacob’s voice was flat. ‘William is gone. I was wrong to let the family drift apart, but I’m going to do something about that. Things are going to change, Nathaniel.’
‘Maybe it’s time for change.’
They paused at the foot of the grand staircase, now less than grand, each reliving private memories.
‘You used to slide down this banister.’ Jacob’s mouth twitched as he ran his fingers over the cracked, neglected wood. ‘It drove William nuts.’
‘That’s why I did it. Why did you leave when you did?’
‘Guilt.’
‘You saved Annabelle. Without you …’ Nathaniel breathed deeply. ‘Do you know how many times I blamed myself for not saving her?’
‘You were nine years old. What could you have possibly done to protect her against a man like William?’
‘Nothing.’ Saying the word released something inside him. ‘You stopped it. You were a hero.’
‘Hero?’ Jacob’s mouth twisted. ‘I don’t think so. Annabelle was scarred for life. I should have prevented it happening in the first place.’
Nathaniel thought about William. ‘He was unstoppable. You did what you had to do.’
‘And I’ve lived with that every day of my life. The first time William hit me, I was six years old.’ Jacob stared at a faded painting on the wall. ‘He was drinking. I found him with a bottle of whisky in his hand. I didn’t know what whisky was. I just knew it was a drink that made him angry, so I grabbed it out of his hand and poured it away. I thought that was it. I thought after that everything would be fine. I kept telling myself that. When you’re a child you believe what you want to believe. And after he died—’ The words hung in the air, the rest of the sentence unsaid. ‘You say you blamed yourself for that night—there’s nothing you can teach me about blame.’
Nathaniel realised just how much his brother was carrying. ‘We weren’t your responsibility.’
‘Yes, you were. And I let you down. If I hadn’t left, all of you might not be scattered around the world.’
‘If you hadn’t left, we might not be so successful,’ Nathaniel drawled. ‘Did you know Alex was the youngest driver to win the British Grand Prix at Silverstone?’
‘I watched it on television while staying in one of Sebastian’s hotels—the Singapore Grande Wolfe, I think.’ Jacob stooped to pick up a broken photo frame that lay abandoned and forgotten on the dirty floor. He stared at the faded, cracked picture. ‘We need to replace this with some of Annabelle’s. Her work is astonishing. She finds beauty in everything. And then there’s you—Sapphire-winning actor. Twenty million dollars for your last movie and a percentage of box office gross. What do you do with all that money?’
Nathaniel thought of the children in Rio and the projects he was exploring back in the U.S. ‘I give it to Jack and he doubles it.’
‘Yes, I gather he has rather a talent for investments.’
‘And poker. Even Lucas refuses to play poker with him.’
‘The tabloids have been full of stories about you and Katie Field. You’re lucky finding someone who loves you like that.’
Feeling cold inside, Nathaniel concentrated on the graffiti sprayed on the wall. ‘She walked out.’
‘And you let her? Because you don’t love her?’
‘Because I do love her.’ Acknowledging that for the first time, Nathaniel rubbed his fingers over his forehead, aware that Jacob was watching him.
‘So you’d rather spend your life with women you don’t care about?’ His tone was heavy with irony. ‘If there’s logic there, I’m missing it.’
‘If you don’t care, you don’t have anything to lose.’
‘But you do care,’ Jacob said quietly, ‘and it’s up to you to make sure you don’t lose. Although I’m guessing it can’t be easy for a woman, being with you.’
‘Because I’m screwed up?’
‘You’re no more screwed up than anyone else. No, I was thinking about the publicity. Cameras in your face wherever you go. Women wanting to marry you and have your babies. On the other hand, maybe she likes all that.’
Nathaniel thought of the brown jumpers. The way she tried to blend into the background. Beautiful, caring Katie. On Wolfe Island, there had been nothing but the two of them. The crazy, insane Hollywood world had been nowhere in sight.
Nathaniel stared at the crumbling walls of Wolfe Manor, at the dust and the cracks. The history. Jacob would restore the house, he thought. Build a future from the rubble. He needed to do the same thing. ‘She hates all that. She thinks I’m a different person in front of the camera.’
‘Is she right?’
‘Yes.’ Nathaniel traced his initials in the dust. ‘I’ve always hidden behind the acting. I didn’t want to be myself. Maybe I was afraid of more rejection. If people reject the character you’re playing it’s not as personal as if they reject the real you.’
‘You should be proud of who you are.’ Jacob’s voice was soft. ‘You’re an incredible actor. I’ve watched your career from the very start. You have a ferocious talent, Nathaniel. But you’re also a good man. I know about all your charity work—about the drama projects for disadvantaged children. Rafael filled me in.’
‘I just wrote cheques,’ Nathaniel said gruffly, ‘until Katie made me roll up my sleeves.’ He thought about the children in Rio. ‘This boy has been emailing me—I think he has real talent. I’m going to pay for him to go to drama school.’ And others—it was a decision he’d made when he accepted his Sapphire. He wanted to give other children the chance he’d had.
‘You’ve played a lot of roles. Now it’s time to play yourself. With Katie. Go.’ Jacob gave
