going to be okay,’ he said, and his voice was like the deep bass of a guitar coming up through the floorboards, a rhythm she recognised and understood, and she clung to the delicious familiarity of him and wished it could last. ‘I know it’s going to be hard, telling your parents, but when you do just remind them that this is their grandchildren they are discussing and that in few months they’ll be here …’
‘Right now I’m actually not worried about them,’ she said. Right now she was wondering how she might ever get over this broken heart, but she daren’t be that honest and so, for the first time, she lied to him. ‘Right now I’m worried about stretch marks and my boobs reaching the moon and getting fatter …’ And losing you. ‘I’m going to go.’
Still he held her. ‘I’ll drive you home.’
Still she clung to him. ‘I don’t want you to.’
‘I can drop off your case.’
She hated that he had it in his car.
Steele hated that it was in his car too. He wanted it in his apartment unpacked, he wanted her in his bed, yet he was terribly aware that he must not push her, not confuse her when she was already in such turmoil.
Maybe there was something he could do.
‘Do you fancy a day pass?’ he said to her ear.
‘A day pass?’
‘I’m going to Kent tomorrow to look at the new unit and also to look at a few houses that I’m thinking of buying …’
‘You’re buying a house?
‘I always buy houses or flats wherever I work and I renovate them in my spare time and sell them or rent them out.’
‘I’m working in Emergency tomorrow.’
‘Oh, if anyone deserves to ring in sick, I think it might be you. Why don’t we just have a nice drive, a lazy day …?’
‘And no talk about pregnancy.’
‘You don’t have to pretend you’re not pregnant, Candy.’
‘I want a day away from it,’ she admitted. ‘I just want a whole day when I don’t even have to think about it.’
‘Then that’s the day you shall have,’ he said, and saw her to the Underground. ‘I’ll pick you up at eight.’
Candy sat on the tube, looking at all the people, and she saw an elderly woman look at her stomach and then her hand. She glanced up and saw that Candy had seen her and the old lady gave her a very nice smile.
Yes, times had changed.
She didn’t feel quite so alone now.
It really was time to deal with what was.
Instead of heading home, she went to her parents’.
They were still sulking about Hawaii.
‘Do you remember Gerry, who I work with?’ Candy said. ‘The one who helped me when I moved?’
‘What about him?’ Her father frowned. ‘Is he going to Hawaii with you?’
‘He died last week,’ Candy said.
There were all the How terribles and Candy took a deep breath. She knew there was no easy way to say it.
It just needed to be said.
‘I’ve just found out that I’m pregnant with twins,’ Candy said. ‘They’re his.’
There were sobs and wails from her parents; her mother actually fell to the floor. As if that was going to change anything!
She had never understood Steele more than she did then. She understood fully how his love for Annie might have died as she watched her parents carry on.
This was about her, this was the hardest part of her life to date, and yet they made it all about them.
She had known they’d be upset but, as Steele would say, that was their stuff. How Candy wished they could give some teeny shred of comfort as she tried to deal with hers.
Candy sat there as her father declared he’d like to kill the man who had taken his daughter’s honour and then she stood up.
‘Lui è già morto,’ Candy said, reminding her father that Gerry was already dead, and then she remembered Steele’s words.
‘These are your grandchildren we’re discussing.’ Her voice was incredibly clear and strong. ‘And these are my babies and I refuse to listen to you calling them a mistake or talking about shame. In a few months they’ll be here and you know as well as I do that you’re going to love them. So why do this to me now? I’m going to go and I don’t want to hear from you till you’ve calmed down.’ She went to the door. ‘And if you want to come to my flat, then you’re to telephone before you do. Clearly I have a life you don’t know about, and if you still don’t want to know about it, then you’re to telephone first before you come around!’
She left her parents and she could perhaps have headed for home but instead she did as Steele had once suggested she try.
She bought a single ticket for a movie—the one they hadn’t seen that night. It was a real tear-jerker from start to end and she sat there, tears pouring down her face and not trying to hide them.
It was nice, a tiny press of the pause button as she cried over the couple on the screen instead of dwelling on herself.
On Steele.
On what could surely never be.
HER JEANS JUST did up.
Nervous and a little excited, just as she had been the first time he’d come to her door, she opened it the next morning with a smile.
‘I’m ready,’ she said, ‘or did you want a drink first?’
‘No, thanks,’ Steele said. ‘It’s probably better that we get going. I’ve got a lot to get on with today.’ He couldn’t not comment. ‘You’ve been crying.’
‘I had a rather big argument with my parents last night.’
‘You told them?’
‘I did.’ She blew out a breath. ‘And I told them a few other things too. Anyway, we’re not talking about all that stuff today. I really do want a day off from it.’
‘Fair enough.’ He smiled. ‘But can I just say that I’m really proud of you for telling them.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You’ll enjoy your holiday far more without that hanging over you.’
‘I
