She distinctly recalled her last Valentine’s Day celebration with Benson. It had been three months before he’d suffered a fatal aneurysm. He’d gotten her flowers, and they’d gone out to dinner. But he’d spent the whole evening discussing his problems with the mayor’s staff. He’d taken a cell phone call and texted several messages of his own. It had not been a special night to her at all. But then, she’d always known about his intense focus on his career.
“Why are so you interested in how Benson and I spent Valentine’s Day?” Grace asked Carter.
“Just curious. Last year I wanted to send something to Marjorie. I realized that with Benson gone, there was no one to remember her. So, when I sent flowers to my mother in Virginia, I sent some to Marjorie as well. I know it’s been tough for her.”
“Is that why you sent me flowers and candy?”
Grace was a bit surprised by the intensity with which Carter returned her gaze before he finally responded.
“That was one of the reasons.”
Her stomach churned. She wasn’t going to ask what other reasons he had. “Well, it was very—”
“Romantic?” he asked with a smile.
“Nice,” she corrected.
He shook his head. “You say that like you thought I was either a confirmed bachelor or gay.”
She couldn’t smile at his attempt at humor. It would never enter her mind that Carter might be gay, especially since Benson had told her about some of Carter’s girlfriends and love affairs when they were in law school together.
And there was certainly something genuine about the comfort she’d received from his embrace that one time. She’d never forgotten.
While her own thoughts and questions were putting her through an emotional wringer, Grace absently consented when Carter asked if it was okay to get Madison and Becca ice cream. She declined his offer to get some for her as well.
After accepting his waffle cone, Madison raced to hold two recently vacated bistro tables and chairs so they could all sit down.
“What’s your idea of a romantic Valentine’s Day?” Carter asked Grace as he slowly consumed his ice cream. “What would really do it for you?”
Grace sighed. “Are we back to that again?” But she pensively gnawed her lip. “I don’t know if I should tell you. It’s going to sound indulgent. Foolish. Whiny.”
“I’ll let you know if it is or not.”
Grace gave him a crooked grin. She got over her shyness and decided to treat Carter’s question like a game of what-if.
“Well, first of all, I get to sleep late. Somebody else has the kids. There will be flowers all over the house. Inside my croissant, I’d find a pair of diamond ear studs....” Carter laughed at that. “In the refrigerator, a bottle of Perrier Joet champagne. The local spa would call to tell me I have an appointment for a massage, and they’re sending a car to pick me up. After that, we’re flown by helicopter to a secret retreat for three days and two nights of...” Grace stopped, remembering that her children were within earshot of her recitation. “You get the idea,” she concluded.
“Who’s the other person in the ‘we’ part?” Carter asked.
Grace reined herself in. Fantasy over. She was back at the mall with her kids, Carter, and a cast of thousands. She pursed her mouth. “I don’t know. I was just making it up.”
“Can I come with you?” Madison suddenly asked.
Carter grinned broadly. Grace glared at him. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. Mommy was just pretending.” She felt Becca pulling on her arm.
“I wanna go home.”
“We’re leaving now,” Grace said, standing up and taking her daughter’s hand.
* * *
Once they all arrived back at Grace’s house, Carter became the sole and exclusive playmate of Madison and Becca. And while Grace was amazed and relieved that her children had taken so effortlessly to him, she couldn’t wait for Carter to leave.
It wasn’t so much that he’d gotten too comfortable too quickly in her children’s lives, but that Carter was insidiously burrowing into hers. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his company, his bantering and his thoughtfulness. It was the other possibilities that could be part of the package. Every time her mind ventured into the unknown, Grace was pulled back to reality by two things. The first was the notion that she’d somehow been unfaithful to her late husband’s memory. The second was a fear of falling.
Without interruption, and with nothing else to keep her company but her own thoughts, Grace did chores. First, she did the laundry, and then she repaired a hole in one of Madison’s pants. All the while something was definitely happening inside her. It was a gradual recognition of her loneliness. It was a desire to live again, and to love.
“I guess I should have offered to help.”
Carter’s voice startled her, and she looked over her shoulder to find him standing in the doorway of her kitchen, hands in his pockets.
“You are helping. You’re keeping the kids from fighting and getting in my way. Where are they?”
“In the family room watching a DVD. Square Bob something.”
Grace couldn’t help laughing. “It’s SpongeBob SquarePants. Who won the chess match?”
“We didn’t actually play a game. I thought it wiser to just show Madison a few moves, see what he could do. Who taught him? I don’t remember Benson playing.”
“He didn’t. My father taught Madison.”
Carter was watching her fold small T-shirts belonging to her son. “I guess it’s true what my mom once said to me. A woman’s work really is never done. What do you do to relax?”
“Relax? What’s that?”
He nodded. “I get you. Look, I think I’m going to get on the road back to the city.”
She put a half-folded T-shirt on a pile and followed Carter into the front room, where he’d left his coat.
“Thanks for being so patient with the kids.”
“Thanks for letting me come to play with them.” He grinned.
Carter put on his leather coat but left it unbuttoned. “When can I see you again?” he asked.
The question struck a nerve in Grace. She knew he wasn’t talking about being with her kids. “The next few weeks are going to be busy.”
He grinned knowingly, well aware that she had deliberately misunderstood. “Tell you what. I have to go look at some apartments the next time I fly in from Chicago. Can you come with me?”
“Call me when you get back,” she said coyly.
“Great. I’d like your opinion.”
