won’t bring her home,” Pete said softly, in the kind of careful, muted tone usually reserved for funeral homes and grave sites.
Linda squeezed her eyes tight, bringing the sweatshirt up to her nose. She inhaled, hoping to breathe in some of the too-sweet vanilla scent her daughter loved to wear, but there was only a slight musty smell.
How could Haley’s perfume have faded so quickly?
Linda sat there, the sweatshirt crumpled against her nose, her body hunched protectively, until she heard her husband sigh and walk away. Only then did she open her eyes and look around Haley’s room. Everything seemed so untouched. The police had been careful not to disturb anything, wearing their sterile gloves and their solemn expressions as they’d searched for some hint of where Haley could be.
Linda glanced back at the doorway. It was empty.
Pete would be back later. They did this routine every night. He’d give her another hour, then he’d coax her to bed. Some days she’d stand and follow him willingly; when she felt glued to the floor, he’d carry her. Then he’d hand her a glass of water and those pills her doctor had prescribed and she’d dutifully swallow two, let the blackness consume her.
Pete had stood by her. She knew it hadn’t been easy—that she hadn’t been easy to live with lately. But he could only share so much of the loss. He loved his stepdaughter, but he’d only been in her life for a few years.
“Where are you, Haley?” Linda whispered into the stillness.
Today marked exactly a month since her daughter had gone missing. Since Haley’s boyfriend, Jordan, had dropped her off at school for cheerleading practice. Since her best friend, Marissa, had waved to her from the field on that unusually warm day, watched her walk into the school, presumably to change before joining Marissa at practice.
She’d never walked out again.
When she hadn’t reappeared, Marissa had been sent to the locker room to get her. Only she hadn’t been there. A search of the school hadn’t turned her up. Now, thirty days later, they still hadn’t found her.
How did a teenage girl go missing from inside her high school? No one could answer that for Linda. As time went by, the cops seemed to have fewer answers and more questions.
But Linda knew. She knew with some deep part of her she could only explain as mother’s intuition that Haley was out there somewhere. And not buried in an unmarked grave, as she’d overheard two cops speculating when day after day passed with no more clues. Haley was still alive. Linda knew it. She was alive, and just waiting for someone to bring her home.
So every day, Linda forced herself out of bed, dressed in her most professional clothes and a heavy layer of makeup to hide the haggard signs of grief and went to the police station for an update. When she finished there, she talked to the news channels, begged them to do another feature or even a small mention of Haley, so she wouldn’t be forgotten. So people would keep searching for her.
Then she moved on to social media, the places her daughter had visited and which she’d never had any interest in until now. Each day, she posted two new messages. One requesting any information about her daughter’s whereabouts, which was shared thousands of times because of all the press. And one directly to her daughter, letting Haley know she’d never give up, never stop looking.
Only at night, after she’d shown the world how strong she could be, did she come here, and indulge her weakness. Her fears.
Why wasn’t there more information? Why hadn’t anyone spotted her and come forward? How could a seventeen-year-old girl just disappear?
Linda clutched the sweatshirt tighter, feeling the sobs well up again. She fell against Haley’s bed, trying to hold them in, and the mattress slid away from her, hard enough to move the box spring.
Linda slipped, too. Swearing, she sat up, then froze as the edge of a tiny black notebook caught her attention.
The book was jammed between the box spring and the bed frame. The cops must have missed it, because she’d seen them peer underneath Haley’s mattress when they’d looked through the room, assessing her daughter’s things so matter-of-factly.
Linda’s pulse skyrocketed as she yanked it out. She didn’t recognize the notebook, but when she opened the cover, there was no mistaking her daughter’s girlie handwriting. And the words...
She dropped the notebook, practically flung it away from her in her desire to get rid of it, to un-see it. She didn’t realize she’d started screaming until her husband ran into the room and wrapped his arms around her.
“What? What is it?” he kept asking, but all she could do was sob and point a shaking hand at the notebook, lying open to the first page, and Haley’s distinctive scrawl.
If you’re reading this, I’m already dead.
Kyle McKenzie leaned across the table in the tiny Italian restaurant with the dim, romantic lighting, and said in a too-calm voice, “I start my new job at the Washington Field Office tomorrow.”
Evelyn Baine felt the same surge of regret she always felt when this topic came up. “I’m glad they had a spot open up for you there.”
They both worked for the FBI, her as a profiler in the Behavioral Analysis Unit, and Kyle, up until a month ago, as an operator for the Hostage Rescue Team. He’d been off work since taking a bullet on a mission. She’d known how risky the mission was and couldn’t help but think she hadn’t pushed hard enough to stop HRT from going in. Now here they were. Kyle pretending he was okay with leaving the job he’d loved. And her pretending she didn’t feel guilty as hell over it.
He shrugged his good shoulder, the one that hadn’t been torn up by a bullet. “Yeah. I’m surprised I got it, but I wanted to stay close. To you, of course, and...”
He trailed off, but she knew the rest, anyway. He wanted to be close to his old team. The FBI’s Washington Field Office was only a forty-five minute drive—with a siren—from Quantico, where HRT was located.
Evelyn worked in Aquia, the town right beside Quantico, herself. The entire time she’d been at the BAU, she’d gotten used to Kyle making the eight and a half-mile drive to see her at her office. He’d pretended he wasn’t coming to see her. But everyone around him had seen through it. Eventually, so had she, and she’d decided to act on it. Now, they’d been dating for six months, and even though she saw him more often, she’d missed seeing him at work, missed their old office banter, over the past month.
He missed the team. She knew it, even if he wasn’t saying it out loud. As an HRT agent, he got sent out on critical missions—everything from stopping a prison riot to rescuing hostages from inside a survivalist compound to assisting with overseas rescues in war zones. The rest of the time was spent training for those missions. It was completely different from being a regular Special Agent.
She wasn’t sure if he’d be able to return to that life. She couldn’t imagine doing it herself, even though she’d worked in a Violent Crimes Major Offenders squad for six years before coming over to the BAU.
She stared across the candlelit table at him now, seeing the
