And racked with guilt because she’d coveted a man who fancied Nicoletta. “And I doubt Steve would’ve, either.”
“No, he’d have wanted to keep open the chance to cement a relationship with your friend, Nicoletta, the wealthy industrialist’s daughter,” Zac remarked a trifle drily.
“Can we let it go now?” Pandora pleaded. “It was a mistake. I was so young, so romantic and so utterly stupid.”
“The memory is painful—”
“Yes. I wish it had never happened. I moved on afterward—it was my mistake, my secret. I went to the doctor. That in itself was terrifying because I had to find a doctor that my father didn’t know.” It had involved deception and made her feel underhanded and defiled. “I confessed to the doctor that I’d had a one-night stand and that I was scared I might be pregnant. I was so naive I didn’t even know if Steve had used protection that night.”
She’d been distraught. The doctor had been sympathetic. She’d done a pregnancy test and sent away samples for tests for diseases that Pandora had never even heard of.
“I told myself that I’d been lucky. I’d made one mistake, but I hadn’t gotten pregnant, nor had I picked up any disease or infection. So I put the whole nasty experience behind me. I refused to let it wreck my life.” Pandora blinked back the tears that filmed her eyes. “Yet now that night has come back to haunt me.”
“Pandora,” Zac’s tone was urgent.
She met his gaze staunchly. Zac would not want her now. She would get her divorce and go home to High Ridge. But at what cost?
“That one night means I’m not fit to be your wife.”
“Pandora!” Zac’s hands reached across the table and closed over hers. The shadows from the candlelight played over his face, giving him a dark, mysterious edge. “There is a way. The only people who know about your … indiscretion … are you, me and the doctor who is bound to silence. The man involved is dead.”
Something, some dangerous emotion, fluttered under Pandora’s breastbone. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we keep it a secret. The doctor’s not going to tell nor will I. No one need know that you’re not a virgin.”
“Would you do that?” Did this sacrifice mean that Zac loved her? He was going against his entire upbringing—everything he’d believed in—to keep her with him. “Would you stay married to me? Keep the truth from everyone? Even your sister?”
Zac looked torn. “What choice do I have? It’s too late to annul our marriage—it’s already been consummated. If I walk away from you, the paparazzi will tear you apart. How can I do that to you? We have no option but to make this marriage work.”
Her heart plummeted at his response. How wrong she’d been. He didn’t love her at all. But his sense of honour wouldn’t allow him to throw her to the news hounds.
How could she live with him for the rest of her life knowing her marriage was a sham?
“I don’t know …” She hesitated.
If she left and returned to High Ridge, she’d never see him again. Never see that slow, sexy smile light up his eyes. Never experience the heart-twisting kisses again. Did she really want to walk away from him forever?
No.
“What have we got to lose?” Zac ran his thumb along the base of her palm, and tingles ran up her spine. “We have a certain chemistry between us already.”
She blushed. “Marriage is about more than sex, Zac. It’s about common goals and values.” And most of all, it was about love. She’d always dreamed of marrying a man who loved her above all else.
“Sex is a damn good starting point.” His slow, sizzling smile made her heart turn over and her pulse rush into overdrive.
How could she resist him in this mood? Did it matter that he didn’t love her? Zac wasn’t a fortune hunter. And, despite what she’d said, he wasn’t cruel or barbaric. He loved his family. He was a good man, a man of principle, the kind of man she’d dreamed of marrying.
Could this simmering sexual connection between them be enough, as Zac had suggested? Should she take a chance and hope that he’d learn to love her?
“We’ll take it slowly, one day at a time,” Zac was saying. “And if you stay, let’s get to know each other a little more. I don’t expect you to share my bed right away.” But his gaze had dimmed a little as he’d added the final words.
“You’d do that?”
“This is important to me. Give it two weeks here on Kiranos. At the end of that time, we talk again. Nothing is lost. If you still want to go, you can walk away and go back to your life in New Zealand. I’m offering you your freedom.”
“You’d let me go?” Her heart sank. For some ridiculous reason, that wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear; she wanted him to fight for her, convince her.
“I won’t keep you against your will. I brought you here to talk, to ask if you would consider staying for a while so that we could get to know each other a little better. Unfortunately—”
“Unfortunately I told you I wasn’t a virgin.”
“That confession made things a little … difficult,” Zac admitted, his eyes hooded from her gaze. “I needed time to come to terms with your revelations.”
When his gaze met hers again, she thought she glimpsed something in the depths of his eyes, something vulnerable, uncertain. Then she dismissed it. Zac uncertain? Never!
“And what,” she asked, “if after two weeks I decide I want to … to leave?”
“We go our separate ways for a year or so and then file for a quiet, low-profile divorce. I’ll do my best to protect you from the media backlash that will follow. Being in New Zealand will help—it’s a world away.”
It sounded so simple. She could do that. Spend two weeks on Kiranos relaxing, enjoying Zac’s company.
“You’ll have no pressure of any kind. No lovemaking. Just the sun and the sea and spending some time getting to know each other all over again.” Zac echoed her thoughts. “To see if it can work.”
Except he omitted the one thing that she found herself thinking about most. His impact on her …
His touch.
His kisses.
And, above all, his lovemaking.
Disappointment curled inside Pandora. Their wedding night had been so exciting, a storm of passion. Nothing had prepared her for the wonder. The experience with Steve had not come close. Then, she’d been tipsy, filled with guilty excitement, and it had been over before it had started, leaving her feeling more than a little cheated. With Zac it had been different …
But Zac was right. A lot had passed between them. This was a chance to start over. To see what they had. All she had to do was sit it out on an island paradise
