* * *
She had to get out of here. The last time they’d been alone his control had snapped, and he was barely hanging on by a thread now that she was in his living room, on his turf.
He’d purposely been avoiding her since their one-night stand, only communicating through texts for stuff related to O’Shea’s. They’d been working together for the past several years. He could admit that when she came on board, his job had become so much easier. With her being able to dig deeper, to infiltrate systems he never could’ve...she was invaluable. Laney’s computer hacking skills were eerily good. If she ever worked with the wrong crowd, she could be dangerous. Granted, some considered the O’Sheas the wrong crowd, but whatever. He couldn’t do his job without her, so avoiding her altogether wasn’t an option.
The torture of working so close together was worth it, though. Even the slightest communication with Laney kept him going. He shouldn’t enjoy the pain of being so near, unable to fulfill his every desire, but he chalked up his masochistic tendencies to his less than stellar childhood.
When he wasn’t on assignment, he typically would hide out at his home in London or take a trip to some random destination just because he could and had no ties. When he was in Boston, he was too tempted to give in to his desires for his best friends’ and bosses’ little sister.
When Laney started to reach for him, Ryker held up a hand. “No.” If she touched him, this whole distance thing would crumble. He’d been playing with fire when he’d grabbed her a second ago...but damn if she didn’t feel good against him.
This had to stop. He owed it to the family who saved him from a living hell. For years he’d ached for her, watched from afar as she grew into a breathtaking woman who managed to slip beneath his defenses. When she’d dated other men, it had nearly gutted him, but what right did he have to say anything?
She was the mafia princess, and he was the family...problem solver. He’d been involved with a lot of dark deeds before her father passed away and left the family business to Braden. Now they were all on the path to being legitimate. But legitimacy didn’t change what he’d done in the past. And no matter that his bank account had more zeroes than any one person would need, that didn’t change the fact he wasn’t worthy of Laney. Not only was she the daughter of one of Boston’s most powerful men, but she’d never made it a secret she wanted a large family, complete with babies and pets. He opted for lovers in other states and countries, to keep things physical and void of all emotions.
To put things simply, they were on opposite ends of this warped world. Since Patrick’s death months ago, Braden and Mac protected her, and rightfully so, from the harsh realities their family faced each day. Actually, Laney’s protection had also been part of Ryker’s job.
Not that he needed the money or the job. But he owed the O’Sheas. Anything they asked for, he would provide or die trying. And it was all of that watching over Laney that had damn near done him in.
Blowing out a breath, he shook his head and faced her, but froze. Laney had stepped back and was leaning against the wall. Her closed eyes, her long, slow breaths had him narrowing the distance between them.
“Laney?” He was near enough to touch her, but kept his hands to himself. See? He could do it. He’d just be right here in case she needed something...like his hands on her.
With shaky fingers, he shoved her hair away from her face. Her lids fluttered open, but a sheen of sweat had popped up over her forehead. Was she that nervous about being here?
“I know you don’t want me here, but I have to tell you something.”
She pushed from the wall, swaying slightly.
Now he didn’t resist contact. Ryker grabbed her around the waist and held her against him. “Are you all right?”
“Let me go.”
Those vibrant green eyes came up to meet his. The punch to his gut instantly forced him back to that night, to her pinned between his body and the wall. She’d panted his name as she’d clung to his back. Never had he experienced anything so...perfect. And he didn’t deserve one second of her affection. Mac and Braden would kick his ass if they knew... Well, they’d try, anyway. He could handle himself in a fight, but he deserved at least a punch to the face over the way he’d seduced Laney like she was just another woman he’d met on one of his trips. Laney was nothing like those other women, and he needed to remember that.
Ryker dropped his hands but didn’t step back. He couldn’t, not when she still seemed so unsteady and his body was wound so tightly. She was a drug, his drug. They were bad for each other for too many reasons, yet he wanted more.
“I’m pregnant.”
Ryker stilled. Had she just...
What the hell? He hadn’t heard her right. No way. When they’d been in Miami, he hadn’t planned on having sex with her after the party at the new O’Shea’s location, but she’d assured him she was on birth control. So, no. He hadn’t heard right.
But Laney continued to stare up at him, and Ryker waited for her to say something else, anything else, because there was no way in hell...
“I’m sorry.” Laney leaned her head back against the wall and shut her eyes once more. “I didn’t know how else to say it. I mean, there’s really no good lead-in to something like this.”
Pregnant. As in, a baby. Their baby.
Ryker turned away as dread consumed him. How the hell had he allowed something like this to even be a possibility? A child was definitely not something he ever wanted in his life. No damn way would he purposely bring an innocent baby into this world. Into his darkness.
“You said you were on birth control.”
He didn’t mean for the words to come out as an accusation, but he was confused, damn it. And angry. Angry at himself, because had he kept that control of his in line, Laney wouldn’t be dropping this bomb.
“I was.” She pulled in a breath and squared her shoulders. “I had to switch the one I was on and started a new one the week before Miami. I don’t know if that’s why it happened. I just don’t know...”
He remembered so clearly her tugging his shirt over his head and telling him she was on birth control, that she had just had a physical and was clean. He knew full well he hadn’t been with anyone for a while, and he’d never gone without protection. So in their frantic state of shedding clothes and getting to the good stuff, they’d had a two-second conversation about contraception.
So here they were. Laney was expecting his child and he was...screwed. Literally.
Bracing his hands on the antique table behind the sofa, Ryker dropped his head. He’d kept his hands, and all his other parts, to himself this whole time. Out of respect for the family who took him in and saved his life, Ryker hadn’t given in to the one desire he’d had for years. Until Miami, damn it. How would he ever make things right with the O’Sheas?
Patrick had taken Ryker in at the age of twelve when Ryker had stood up for Braden and Mac on the playground, and the boys had become best friends. Ryker had instantly become like family, but he’d never thought of Laney as a sister. At the time, he’d ignored her because she was so much younger. But by the time she graduated high school, Ryker was deep in the family business, and
