an hour into the party, Kate was carrying a tray of shrimp appetizers into the living room when she heard familiar laughter ringing out in the front hallway.
Ryan had rented a car at Logan Airport and driven down to Long Island through the storm to be there to celebrate his daughter’s engagement. Kate thought her heart would burst through her chest from longing when she first caught sight of him in the foyer. Snowflakes glittered in his hair beneath the overhead light. He laughed as he brushed them off and handed his scarf and jacket to a beaming bride-to-be.
“Mom, look!” Alexis said as Kate stepped into the room. “Daddy drove all the way down through the blizzard to be here with us.”
“I thought you were bringing someone,” Kate said.
Ryan frowned. “Where’d you get that idea?”
They both turned to look at their middle child, who looked back with an innocent smile on her face. She wasn’t fooling anyone.
“I hope you rented a four-wheel drive,” Kate said to Ryan. What had happened to Hello or It’s good to see you? Why did she have to go straight to the negative.
“I’m crazy, but I don’t have a death wish,” he shot back. “I rented an all-wheel drive at the airport.”
“There’s a blizzard out there,” she pointed out.
“That’s not a blizzard,” he said. “You need higher winds to qualify as a blizzard.”
“That’s still an awful lot of snow.” Shut up, Kate. Where is this going? What’s the point?
“It was clear sailing from Hartford on. The worst is on its way to Maine.”
Kate opened her mouth to pursue this meteorological debate, but the look on their daughter’s face stopped her.
Alexis was looking from Kate to Ryan, her blue eyes wide with puzzlement. This was her day. Kate and Ryan could save their bickering for some other time.
That look of puzzlement quickly turned into something very different when Gabe Fellini walked into the room.
There was something both sad and beautiful about new love. Alexis and Gabe were so innocent, so trusting in their love for each other. They hadn’t a clue about the curveballs life would throw their way. Right now they believed that they were special, that the gods had decided to rain down all the blessings of the universe on their heads and protect them always from harm.
She and Ryan had been that way, too, and for a second Kate thought she was looking at their younger selves.
And Ryan saw it, too. Their gazes locked above their daughter’s head and everything else fell away. The years. The problems. The fact that they were a half step away from finalizing their divorce.
They exchanged a smile in the foyer. They squeezed past each other in the back hallway. She smiled when she caught him watching her as she popped more crab puffs into the oven. She blushed furiously when he caught her peeking at him through the back window when he stepped outside to bring in some more firewood.
By the time they found themselves alone on the back porch, the attraction between them was so powerful that they were in each other’s arms in the space of a heartbeat.
He told her what he wanted to do to her.
She told him if he didn’t do it in the next thirty seconds she would do it to him.
In a flash they were in the backseat of the Toyota with the windows fogging up all around them. Hot. Sweet. Intense.
Too intense. She was losing control and if she didn’t get out of there right that second she would say something she would regret. Something like I still love you or Maybe we should give it another try, and she would have to endure the look of pity in his eyes.
Kate scrambled into her clothes as if the car were on fire and she had ten seconds to save her own life.
Which, come to think of it, may not have been that far from the truth.
She had made a big fat mistake. One of those mistakes that happened to other, dumber women who ended up crying their eyes out on some relationship expert’s shoulder on national television.
She hadn’t planned to sleep with her own husband. It was winter, for crying out loud. She hadn’t even shaved her legs.
For three weeks afterward she held her breath, praying to God and all the saints that their stupidity hadn’t resulted in a middle-aged pregnancy. She had the feeling Ryan heard her sigh of relief all the way up there in Boston.
Not that they had had any direct communication since the engagement party. They had been hiding behind Alexis and their lawyers, passing messages back and forth like grade-school kids behind their teacher’s back.
If their daughters ever got wind of what had happened, they would immediately jump to the wrong conclusion. Her children were adults, but they clung to the childish hope that their parents would somehow get back together.
She had bumped into Alexis as she ran upstairs after the incident in the Toyota. Kate had been wild with emotion, almost crazy. She had yanked her wedding ring off her finger and flung it into the deepest recesses of the top drawer of her old dresser. It wasn’t until she turned around and saw her middle child standing in the doorway looking both puzzled and horrified that she managed to pull in the reins on her romantic craziness and settle back down into being the mother of the bride.
She thought about the ring sometimes, but she had yet to drive back out to the house and retrieve it. There was always something else to do, somewhere else she needed to be. She knew she could ask Taylor to FedEx it to her but she hadn’t done that yet either.
Maybe there was something symbolic about tossing the ring into the darkness of a forgotten drawer. At first she had felt naked without her ring, but after a while she grew used to the feeling. Maybe she should gather up all of those old, troublesome memories and throw them into the darkness with the ring and be done with all of it.
The truth was that fiery interlude in the rental car hadn’t changed a thing between them. The wheels of divorce kept on rolling as the weeks slipped away. In fact, they could have signed the final papers yesterday before she flew out of New York but somehow it didn’t seem right for parents to end their marriage one week before their daughter’s wedding.
Weddings were about living happily ever after. Nobody wanted a reminder that sometimes not even love was enough to keep two people together.
She wouldn’t be able to avoid him once Wedding Week began. That much was certain. They would walk their daughter down the aisle together. They would pose for pictures together. They would step out onto the dance floor together as the parents of the bride.
Temptation would be everywhere, but this time she would be prepared.
She would stay away from champagne, hide indoors when the moon was high and bright in the sky, and she would definitely stay away from rented Toyotas and the men who drove them.
But it had been so wonderful to see him again at the party…to share a secret smile as they toasted their daughter’s happiness…to melt into his arms as she had in the beginning when it was all new and wonderful and Paris still
