Concetta when you come. We can’t get enough of her.”
Leon nodded to his stepmother and father before the two of them disappeared out the door. When it closed he turned to Belle.
“Did I speak too soon for you? It’s not too late to go with them.”
She shook her head. “Actually, I’m very grateful you said what you did. No matter what you say, this meeting put my mother and your father in a difficult position. By my staying here in your home, they’ll have time to talk alone tonight. She put on a wonderful front, but—”
“It was no front,” Leon contradicted. “I’ve known her close to fourteen years. The joy on her face when she saw you changed her to the point that I hardly recognized her.”
Belle bit her lip. “But that doesn’t alter the fact that she gave me up and no one knew about it. Now that I’m here, she has to worry about people finding out she had a child before she married your father.”
“Do you honestly believe that matters to either of them now?”
“I don’t know. She said she gave me up to keep me safe. But since that’s no longer a concern and I’ve shown up, she’ll have to deal with gossip. I’m not worried for myself, but the last thing I want is to bring more unhappiness to your family.”
“That’s very noble of you, Belle, but she’s already let you know you’re welcome with open arms.”
Her chin lifted. “Maybe. I think it would be better if she comes over here in the morning, where we can talk in private before I go back to New York. Her presence in your home won’t draw attention. If I thought my coming to Italy could upset her life in any way...”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Come out on the patio with me and we’ll talk.”
Without saying anything, she followed him down the hall to the other part of the house. When he opened the doors to the patio, they were greeted by a sea breeze scented with the fragrance of the garden flowers. Belle walked over to the railing. “How absolutely heavenly it is out here.”
“It’s my favorite place.”
“I can see why.”
Leon stood next to her, studying her stunning profile, which was half hidden by her dark hair. “Forget everything else for a minute and answer me one question.”
She turned her head in his direction. “You want to know how I feel.”
Belle had the disarming habit of being able to read his mind. “Can you put it into words yet?”
“No,” she answered promptly. “Luciana is wonderful. More wonderful than I could have ever hoped. So’s your father. But over these years, this need to find her has been all about me and what I want. Sitting with her on the love seat while she explained her life to me, I realized what a terrible thing I’ve done to her.”
Leon looked into those blue eyes glittering with tears. “I don’t understand.”
“She didn’t deserve to have me sweep into her world, bringing up all the pain and unhappiness she’s put behind her. No—” Belle put up her hands when he would have argued with her.
“The sister in charge warned me I could be taking a great risk in trying to find my birth mother. I thought I knew better when you told me I could meet her at dinner tonight. When I met your father, I still felt good about it. But I don’t anymore.”
Leon had to think fast. “I’m guessing the part of you that feels unlovable has taken over for the moment. You’re terrified that any more time spent with her and she’ll see all your flaws.”
Belle gripped the railing tighter. “I’m nothing like her. She’s lovely and refined. I never met anyone so gracious. She’s not the kind of person to tell you what she’s really thinking inside. She and your father have made a life together. There’s no place in it for me and there shouldn’t have to be.”
“You’re wrong about that, Belle.” If his father had his way, it wouldn’t be long before she found herself being adopted for the second time in her life.
“It’s hard to explain, but I feel like I’ve trespassed on their lives.”
“Trespassed... If you feel like that, then blame me for facilitating the meeting.”
Tears again sparkled in her eyes. “I could have decided not to go through with the plans for this evening. Of course I don’t blame you. You’ve been wonderful. You all have. I’m the one who doesn’t belong in Rimini.”
“That’s another part of you talking, the part that feels you don’t deserve this outpouring of kindness and acceptance. You’re going to have to give this time, Belle. In the past you’ve been too used to rejection from your adoptive father and brother. If you turn away now, after one meeting, you’ll be giving in to old habits. Consider your mother’s feelings.”
“She’s all I’m thinking about right now.”
“How do you imagine she’ll feel if you let your fear of rejection prevent her from really getting to know you? It works both ways.”
Belle shook her head. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you think she does?”
A troubled sigh escaped her lips. “I’m not sure. If she’d begged me to come with her tonight...”
Ah. “What if she was afraid to pressure you, in case you had reservations? I’m the one who mentioned your fatigue, and she grabbed on to it for an excuse, in case you didn’t feel comfortable going with them. Don’t you see?”
“I—I don’t know what I see,” Belle stammered. “I love her so much already, Leon, but I’m more anxious than ever.” Her eyes met his, full of despair and confusion.
He wasn’t immune to her pain, but he couldn’t take her in his arms again, not after he’d sworn to keep his distance.
Yesterday, when he’d drawn her against him, he’d become instantly aware of her as an alluring woman, but he’d fought those feelings. He couldn’t handle the complication of a woman in his life. Yet when they’d been at the pension, he’d reached for her again, because he couldn’t help himself. Much more of this and he would lose every bit of objectivity.
Already her presence was making chaos of the well-ordered existence he’d been putting back together since Benedetta’s death. Otherwise why would he have stepped in to suggest Belle remain under his roof tonight?
BELLE LOOKED AWAY from Leon’s dark gaze, trying desperately to pull herself together. After priding herself on being able to handle her life on her own, why did she keep falling apart like this?
She should have jumped at the opportunity to go home with her mother earlier, but Leon had read her hesitation with uncanny accuracy and had offered another solution. When she’d confided her reason to him for holding back, she’d told the truth. She’d wanted to give her mother space.
But
