She nodded, but it wasn’t as effusive. She was a million miles away. ‘It gets a girl to thinking.’
‘About?’
She scrunched up her nose. ‘Things far too blah to go into on such a beautiful night. I’m sorry. Where were we? Ruby.’
Back to Ruby. Always Ruby. It occurred to him then that she might be using his daughter as a shield as much as he had been. He couldn’t help but wonder why.
‘Meg.’
‘Zach,’ she said in a mock-sombre voice.
‘Tell me.’
She focused on the flowers around his neck. ‘It’s just all this stuff that I haven’t thought about in years that has shuffled up to the surface in the last little while. And then you sit there all noble, making forgiveness sound so easy when I just don’t think I could—’
‘Tell me,’ he said again.
She blinked at him. All big blue eyes and down-turned mouth. ‘I can’t believe I’m about to … God, where do I begin?’
His voice felt unusually tight as he said, ‘Wherever you see fit.’
‘Okay,’ she said with a hearty sigh. ‘There’s this one memory that’s been playing on my mind. Years ago my father was given an Honorary Doctorate of Commerce by a university in Melbourne. He’d never gone to uni, never even finished high school, so it was a matter of immense pride. One of my brothers had scraped his knee or something equally boyish, so Mum waited at the hotel to be taken with them in the town car and my father drove himself, with me there, at my mother’s insistence, to keep him company. This was years before GPS.’
She looked to him. Her eyes narrowed, almost pleading he get her to stop. He just nodded. Go on.
‘Anyway, when he finally admitted he was lost he gave me the street directory and told me to show him how to get there. I’d never used one before, couldn’t pronounce half the street names, so I read the map wrong and we were late. Less than five minutes, but late is late.’
She stopped again. Licked her lips. Her hands were shaking. The tension streaming off her was palpable. He could feel his pulse beating in his temples.
‘What did he do?’ Zach asked, half not wanting to know, half needing her to trust him enough to tell him.
‘Before the engine had even come to a halt he turned on me. With such venom.’ She shook her ponytail off her shoulder to hide the flinch as the memory came at her. ‘I was careless, ridiculous, stupid and I had to find my own way back to the hotel to teach me to take heed of where I was and who I was with. By the time I made it to the hotel it was after dark, my mother was beside herself and my father had holed himself up in his room. His doctorate thrown onto the front table of the suite as though it was rubbish.’
Her eyes flickered to his—dark, grave, wounded. Eyes so beautiful they should never be made to look that way. His fingers curled into fists and adrenalin like he’d never felt shot through him.
‘How old were you?’
‘About Ruby’s age. Maybe a little younger.’
He’d known it the moment she’d started telling the story. Hearing her admit as much still made him want to hit something. Or more particularly someone.
‘It wasn’t the first time,’ he said matter-of-factly.
She shrugged and seemed to disappear even further inside her ample skirt. ‘Ever since I can remember he’d always been distant. Working a lot. But the first time he took it out on me was the time I told my nanny I was adopted. I thought it was because I’d dare think not being one of them was a more attractive option.’
‘And now?’
She let out a long, shaky breath. ‘Now I wonder if I had it all backwards. There have always been rumours …’ She swallowed, and looked at him, her big, blue eyes begging him to say the things she couldn’t.
Zach said, ‘You mean his affairs?’
‘Not the kind of thing a parent can keep from their kid when even rumours make the papers.’ Her mouth twisted, but a gleam had lit her eyes, as though her strength was returning now she wasn’t the only one bearing the load. ‘I’ve often wondered if I was an afterthought. A way to keep their marriage together. If so, it worked. But while my mother never gave a hint of it, the only way I could make sense of my father’s behaviour was that I was a reminder of the worst time of his life. That he regretted it. And regretted me.’
‘Even if that’s true it’s not your fault.’
She shrugged. ‘I know. I do. And I don’t even care any more. At least I thought I didn’t. I don’t even know why I brought it up.’
Zach understood all too well. ‘You’ve made it very clear exactly why I need to always put Ruby first.’
‘I did? I guess I did. And don’t you forget it!’
Her soft mouth turned up into the echo of a familiar smile. As they looked into one another’s eyes the night stretched and contracted, and once again they communicated more in the silence than mere words could ever say.
Ruby’s card began to burn a hole in his top pocket. If ever there was a moment for him to take a risk and give it to her …
And then she yawned. ‘And on that note now seems like a good time to escort me back to my room.’
She flapped her hands at him. He pulled himself to his feet before pulling her after him. As they stood face to face her perfumed scent washed over him, delicate and delicious.
All he’d have to do was slide a hand around her neck and pull her to him and that mouth would be all his. The urge to kiss her, to take away the hurt, to give her something warm and wonderful to think about instead was overwhelming.
But she wasn’t some gorgeous young thing putting her hand up for a one-night stand. She’d had an intense night. Her thoughts were so obviously still scrambled. He’d be taking complete advantage.
‘One last question,’ he said, his voice low and rough.
She raised one sexy eyebrow.
‘It’s about Ruby. I know, I know, I’m getting predictable.’
The corner of her mouth twitched as though she knew exactly what he was doing. ‘Shoot.’
‘Should I get her a pet? A rabbit maybe?’
She let go of his hands and backed away from the beach towards the resort, towards the end of the night. ‘You can’t get her a rabbit! They’re a pest in Queensland. Start with a goldfish. Let her choose it. Let her name it whatever she wants. She’ll be putty in your hands.’
He caught up in three long strides. ‘You had a fish?’
‘I was a terrible pet owner. I always forgot to feed them, and they had a habit of leaping from the tank in desperation to leave me. But Mum just kept on
