he looked up at the ceiling for no particular reason. All sense of reason had left the elevator when Claudia began labour.
‘I thought the Wright Street Women’s and Children’s Hospital. I checked in online a few months back and it has a lovely birthing centre with floral wallpaper and midwives and everything my babies and I would need. I’ve booked an appointment with a midwife there next week.’
‘Well, you won’t be needing that appointment. Not for this delivery anyway, but perhaps you could book in for your next baby.’
‘I’m not sure there will be a next,’ she replied quickly with raised eyebrows, still not forgetting the pain of the contraction that had barely passed.
‘Perhaps you will change your mind and have more but these children will definitely be born in LA. With any luck, the paramedics will have us out soon and they’ll be born at the Mercy Hospital.’
Claudia felt her pulse race a little. ‘What if that doesn’t happen?’
Patrick turned to her and took her hand in his. Suddenly the sensation of her warm skin on his made him feel something more than he had felt in many years. It made him feel close to being alive. He swallowed and pushed away the feeling. That sort of intimacy had no place in his life. For the last decade, whenever he felt a woman’s body against his, there was nothing more than mutual pleasure. It didn’t mean anything to either of them. They served a purpose to each other and walked away. Feeling anything more was not worth the risk.
He couldn’t get attached to a woman he didn’t know who was about to give birth to the children of another man. The idea was ridiculous.
‘Let’s not go there, Claudia. The medical team will be here soon.’
‘But they may not...’ she argued.
‘Then we’ll bring two healthy boys into the world on our own.’ He said it instinctively but as the words escaped his mouth he prayed it would not come to that.
Claudia took another deep breath. There was a chance they weren’t going to be rescued. And she had to prepare herself for the imminent wave of the next contraction and then worse. She closed her eyes.
Patrick studied her. ‘Now don’t go closing your beautiful eyes on me,’ he told her. ‘I need you to listen to me and work with me. You will get through this but you have to stay strong. You have your children to think of.’
Slowly she forced her lids open and found herself looking into the warmest eyes she had ever seen. Her stomach did a little somersault and it wasn’t a contraction.
‘That’s better,’ he told her with a smile filled with so much warmth she thought her heart would melt. Everything he was making her feel was unexpected. And the feelings seemed so real. Was it just the intense situation they were facing or was there something about the man that was very different from anyone she had ever met?
She wasn’t sure.
But his nearness was affecting her. She doubted he was trying to affect—he just was.
‘What about you—do you have any children? Did your family move here to LA too?’ She rattled off successive questions, trying to deflect the blush she suddenly feared he had brought to her cheeks. She could see there was no wedding band on his hand but, as she knew first-hand, the lack of a ring on a man’s finger did not bring any certainty there was no wife. It was out of character for her to be so direct but nothing about the situation was normal.
‘No, I’m not married, Claudia, and the rest of my family...well, they’re back in the UK...’ Patrick’s words trailed off. He wasn’t about to tell Claudia about his life, his past or his loss. After twelve years it was still raw at times but now focusing on Claudia removed his desire to give any consideration to his own pain. He had to be in the moment for the woman who needed him. He couldn’t think about what had happened all those years ago or the price he still paid every day.
He had to let something go.
And that had to be the past—for the time being. But he knew that it would come back to him. It always did.
‘Do you want children one day? I guess if you’ve done this before, bringing them into the world would make you want a brood or run the other way,’ she cut in again. As she felt the warmth in her face subside she was slightly relieved on that front but the need for the banter continued. Any distraction would do.
He felt a muscle in his jaw twitch. She was unwittingly making it very hard to stay in the moment. ‘No,’ he said, not wanting to go into any detail. The answer was not that he didn’t like children; in fact it ran far deeper than that. Children meant family and he never planned on being part of a family again. The pain still lingered, twelve years after he had been forced to walk away from his own.
‘So am I right—you don’t want to take your job home?’
‘You’re full of questions, aren’t you?’
Claudia didn’t answer. She felt the next contraction building and as it rolled in she couldn’t say anything. She dropped her head to her chest and took in shallow breaths.
Without prompting, Patrick’s hands gently massaged her back. Instinctively, he knew what was happening and he kept up the physical therapy until it passed. And then a few moments longer.
She felt his hands linger, then shook herself back to reality. He was a doctor doing his job. Nothing more.
‘Why did you move to LA?’ she piped up, then bit her lip as she realised it was none of her business and she had no clue what had driven her to ask him such personal questions. She felt as if the pain had taken over her mind. She was acting like a different person, someone who suddenly wanted to know everything about Patrick. Perhaps it was to distract herself. Perhaps not. But she knew the moment the words fell from her mouth that she had overstepped the boundaries of polite conversation. ‘Please forget I asked. Blame it on the stress. I really am exhibiting the worst manners today. I’ve asked the most improper questions and ruined your jacket...’
‘Forgiven for both.’ Patrick hesitated. ‘I guess I’m just a private person, Claudia. I’m happy to answer any medical questions, anything at all, but I’d prefer to leave the rest alone. Suffice to say, my family and I didn’t see eye to eye about something that happened and this opportunity came up. So I left London and headed here.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ Claudia suddenly felt even more embarrassed that she had asked but she also felt a little sad for him. She barely knew the man but, with the way he was taking care of her, she suddenly felt that she wanted to be on his side in a situation she knew nothing about.
Patrick knew it sounded as if they had parted ways on something insignificant. He thought it was best to leave it at that. There was no need to mention that he’d made the opportunity to allow him to move to the US. It was something he’d had to do to help everyone with their grief. To not be there, reminding them every day of what had happened.
It was not the time or place to tell a woman he had just met that his sister had died.
And he had taken the blame for her death.
An unspoken agreement not to revisit the conversation about his family was made in the awkward silence by both of them.
‘I’ll need to examine you in a few minutes and
