you drove that monster.” She didn’t suppose he remembered their half affectionate and half not-so-affectionate name for the vehicle that had been hard to park and harder to maneuver along narrow roads. She leaned close to get a better look at the page.
The digital pictures, which she’d printed off on the snazzy little photo printer her twin sisters had given her for her last birthday, showed them starting out from their driveway. She looked at herself and groaned. Even with Madison on her hip, her tummy problem still showed. Goodness. She sighed. Otherwise, the snapshot looked great. Tyler was grinning wide, practically a blur of motion. “It had been almost impossible for Tyler to stand still for a single moment. He was so excited that morning.”
“He looks happy.” Jonas swallowed, as if he were struggling with emotions. “Everybody did.”
“It was your first vacation all year.” Somehow, remembering made her heart warm, made the distance between her and this new, different Jonas less cumbersome. “You got everyone up early, you were so excited to go, and made everyone breakfast before we left. It was wonderful, and a little easier on me.”
“You make breakfast?”
“Just about every morning.” She didn’t add how, that long-ago morning, he’d hugged her so tightly and sweetly and whispered in her ear how glad he was to be able to spend the next two weeks with her. Then he’d set the timer on the camera and rushed back to the steps to scoot in next to her, and tickle Tyler so he was laughing when the timer went off.
Maybe he would remember that in time, she hoped. “Turn the page and you’ll see—”
She waited while he fumbled with the thick plastic edge. She hated how hard he had to work to turn the page and she waited, not knowing if it would hurt his pride worse to have her help, but he finally managed it on his own. His strong beautiful hand was slightly bent and twisted, a condition that the neurologists thought would gradually disappear. She resisted the urge to take his fingers in hers and massage them, as if she could rub that partial paralysis away.
“I’m driving.” He looked surprised. “I had hair.”
“Yes, and it will grow back.”
He looked sheepish and nodded. He studied the page for a long time. They were the photos she’d taken from the front passenger seat of Jonas driving away from their home, of Tyler wearing his fireman hat and strapped into his seat, grinning ear to ear, and of Madison yawning hugely in her car seat. Her soft brown curls were like a cloud around her button face. Danielle felt full to the brim. Her family. Her loves. Her everything.
When Jonas turned to the facing page, his lopsided smile widened. Happiness lit his eyes. He tapped the page where they’d pulled over to the side of a small-town street. In the cluster of small pictures, Jonas was holding his son’s hand, so small in his big capable one, and they stood side by side watching a hawk perched on a high branch of a tree. Another picture showed Tyler’s little face staring trustingly up at his father—so vulnerable and good and sweet.
Jonas swallowed visibly. “I don’t want to—” He stopped, as if searching for the word. “I don’t want to—” He shook his head. Lines of frustration and misery dug into his handsome face. “I can’t think of the word.”
She laid her hand on his and felt the warm unyielding band of his wedding ring beneath her palm. “I’m glad to have you home, Jonas. If you’re worried about disappointing us—”
He nodded. “That’s the word. I—” He shrugged helplessly, unable to say what was in his heart.
But she knew. Even as injured as he was, she would always know her husband’s heart. “You’re here. That means more than you know. The rest of it—the remembering, everything—it will get easier.”
Relief passed across his face and he nodded once, his gaze fastened on hers. She hadn’t realized how much he needed this, too, to be here, to try to find their normal lives again. She watched as he touched the snapshot with Tyler gazing up adoringly, full of awe and love for his dad. Jonas cleared his throat. “I don’t want to disappoint.”
“Tyler just wants you to love him. It will be all right.”
He nodded and looked away, unreadable, like a stranger once more.
Danielle took a shaky breath and removed her hand. She waited as he turned to the next page, studying the picnic they’d had at a small park along the way, taking in the sunshine beneath the awning of the RV, laughing and sunny. She hadn’t realized how perfect their lives had been at that moment, with Madison messy and fussy and Tyler hyper from being buckled in for the morning, and the weight of worry and responsibility nagging at her. She would give nearly anything to have her husband look at her now the way he did in the photo, as if he knew her better than she knew herself and loved her, every shortcoming, every flaw, every strength.
“This is a good book.” Jonas tapped the picture he’d taken—and didn’t remember—of her buckling in Madison, who was in the middle of struggling, chubby arms reaching toward her daddy. “I can see a lot.”
She was glad she’d taken the time to make the album, the careful cutting and pasting, the rubber-stamping and gluing and framing, the glitter and cutouts and ribbons. These memories and pictures were more important now than ever. She’d originally started the books so that they wouldn’t forget the good times and the small details about the kids—they were growing so fast!—but now it had a larger purpose. To remember where they’d been. For what could be again.
The front door opened, and the security system chimed an announcement.
“Hello?” Her older sister Katherine’s voice echoed in the foyer over the sound of running little-boy feet. “Anybody home?”
For a nanosecond, Jonas’s gaze found hers, the panic raw and honest on his face. So many expectations, because Tyler didn’t know his daddy couldn’t remember him. They had decided together that it wouldn’t be right to hurt him that way, to rock his security like that. So, the little boy who pounded into the room, his brown hair sticking straight up, only knew his daddy had been hurt and was now home to stay. Excitement lit him up like a lightbulb as he threw his arms wide and wrapped them around Jonas.
“You’re here! Daddy, you’re home!” Tyler didn’t let go but laid his cheek on his dad’s wide chest and grinned up at him. “Aunt Katherine brought nachos and Mexi-fries just for you.”
Danielle knew that the man beside her no longer knew the significance of their inside joke of Mexi-fries, but that didn’t matter. Jonas’s eyes filled with emotion as he ran an awkward hand over the top of his little son’s head, affectionate and sweet and devoted.
What truly mattered hadn’t changed.
Chapter Two
Danielle walked into the kitchen and saw her sister. Katherine had Madison on her hip and was unloading two bags of food from their favorite Mexican take-out restaurant.
“Mommy!” Madison’s arms shot out and she thrust herself through the air, trusting her aunt had a solid hold on her.
Danielle came to her rescue as Katherine held the half-prone princess. Her little play tiara was askew, sitting crooked in those soft light brown curls, and Madison was bright with happiness. Danielle wrapped a secure arm around her daughter and hefted her onto her hip.
