this desk had huge jowls hanging from the sides of his jaws and black hair slicked back by a comb. He looked angry. But, the dictator reminded himself, Pancho Martinez always looked angry. His face couldn’t be used to judge his mood. Martinez, the president of Venezuela, was not a Muslim of any sort. He claimed to be Christian, but the Iraqi dictator knew that was primarily for political reasons.
If truth be known, none the leaders who had gathered for this secured video conference were particularly religious. They used religion when it was practical and discarded it when it was not. They did, however, have two things in common.
They all loved power.
And they all hated the United States of America.
“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” the Iraqi said in English—the only language all four of them spoke. “I trust things are going well for you.”
“As well as can be expected,” Bartovi said. “Under the current circumstances.”
“Things are quiet at the moment,” Parnian said.
“All is well here,” Martinez reported. “Particularly compared to you and your country.”
The Iraqi sat back. “Yes,” he said. “These are dark times for us. The U.S. invasion is inevitable, I believe.”
“And you can never win such a war,” Parnian said. “You must face that fact.”
“That fact, as you put it,” the Iraqi admitted, “is exactly why I have called this meeting.” He paused to take in a long breath, scratching his clean-shaven chin as he did so. “I must go into hiding, I am afraid.”
“A wise choice,” Bartovi said. “But for how long?”
“I do not know,” the Iraqi said. “But if the United States is true to form, they will take over my country, claim victory, set up some puppet regime and then go home when their citizens grow tired of losing American lives. It could be a matter of months. Then again, it might be years.”
“Vietnam taught them nothing,” Martinez said. “They are still quick to stick their nose into the business of other nations. But they lack the resolve to stay in place long enough to achieve their beloved democracy.” The Venezuelan curled his lips in distaste.
“They believe democracy should be forced upon the entire world,” Bartovi proclaimed. “Even nations that have no desire for it. In that sense, they are as bad as the Soviet Union used to be in spreading communism.”
“We can spend all day discussing politics if you like,” Parnian said. “But it will do nothing to help our friend in Iraq.” This time, it was the word friend that caught the dictator’s ear. It seemed forced from the Iranian’s lips. The Iraqi knew they were friends only in their opposition to the Western superpower.
“So,” Martinez said. “How can we be of service to you during your last few days in office?”
The dictator sat quietly for a moment, then said, “I would like to send each of you some presents.”
“And they are...?” Bartovi asked.
The dictator glanced at the side of his computer, assuring himself that the red security light was on and the meeting was being scrambled beyond anything the Americans might be able to piece together into coherence. “I must move out my weapons,” he said. “To Syria and Iran, I would like to send my biological and chemical supplies.” He paused again, taking in another breath. “For Venezuela, I have a very special gift.”
“Special gift?” Martinez repeated.
“I have one nuclear warhead,” the dictator said. “But no missiles that will reach the United States from Baghdad.” He paused yet again, this time for dramatic effect. “Launched from your country, however, Señor Martinez, it is another story.”
“Let us make sure we are all on the same page, as the infidel Americans say,” Parnian murmured. “You are expecting us to enter into a protracted war with the United States?”
“Of course not,” the Iraqi said quickly. “You would have no better chance of winning than I do.” A certain sense of satisfaction flowed through him as he spoke the words. His colleagues had reminded him that his forces could never defeat those of the U.S. It was gratifying to remind them in turn that they could be no more successful than he. “What I would like you to do,” he said, “is simply hide these weapons until it appears to the world that they never existed in the first place. When they have searched my country high and low and found nothing, the weapons of mass destruction, or WMDs, as their cowboy president loves to call them, will appear to have been nothing but a political ploy. Americans will believe their leader used them simply as an excuse to take over Iraq.”
“And they will turn against him,” Bartovi said, nodding on the screen. “The Americans are quick to do that.”
“Exactly,” the Iraqi said, and he found himself nodding, too. “And in the next election, they will vote for someone as different from their current president as possible.”
All four men chuckled softly. “They always do,” Parnian said. “Republican, Democrat, liberal, conservative. They bounce from one extreme to another, never happy with anyone they have elected.”
“Precisely,” the Iraqi leader said. “And I will wait them out. When they go home, I will emerge stronger than ever.”
“If they do not find you first,” Martinez stated, staring out from the screen. “If they do, you will be tried in the World Court in Geneva. And with all due respect, my fellow president, you will be found guilty and probably hanged.”
A surge of fear washed over the Iraqi, but he pushed it to the side. No one—not even the mighty Americans—would be able to ferret him out of hiding. Not here, in his own country.
The fear left his soul. For a moment, the possibility that his ego had overtaken his common sense replaced it, but he pushed that thought aside, as well.
“That will not happen,” he said, staring at Martinez. “But just in case the million-to-one shot comes through, I would like you all to pass my gifts on to some of our other friends. Friends who do not have obvious borders, or buildings and cities that could be bombed in retaliation.”
“You are speaking of al Qaeda,” Parnian said.
“And Hamas and Hezbollah,” Bartovi added.
“Indeed I am,” the Iraqi said. “Not to mention the Taliban. In the unlikely event that I do die or am captured, I want millions of American lives taken in revenge.”
For a moment, all four leaders were quiet. Then Martinez said quietly, “Send me your gift.”
“And to us, ours,” Parnian stated.
“We will comply with your wishes,” Bartovi said. “And even after you return to power, we can make good use of your gifts. Or rather, as you said, our freedom-fighting associates can.”
“It is time that the Middle East rose again,” the Iraqi said. And quickly added, “With, of course, our South American friends.”
“Then it is settled,” Bartovi said. “We are ready for delivery as soon as you
