life now and it was a life that she loved. A life that suited her. She’d learned to do the glossy stuff because it was expected of her, but that was only a small part of her existence.
And it wasn’t the part she cared about. Wasn’t the part that she considered important.
But that was something she had no intention of sharing with Tariq. Her brief relationship with him had taught her that being open and honest just led to pain and anguish. And she’d learned to protect herself.
Music poured through the open doors, indicating that the dancing had begun. Farrah knew that in half an hour the fashion show would be starting. The fashion show in which she’d been persuaded to take part. But how could she? How could she walk down that catwalk, knowing that he was in the audience?
She’d call Henry, the family chauffeur. Ask him to come and get her.
The best way to protect herself right now was to leave.
Having planned her escape, she made to step past him but he caught her arm, long strong fingers closing over her bare flesh in a silent command.
‘This conversation is not finished. I have not given you permission to leave.’
She almost laughed. For Tariq, the use of power was second nature. He’d been born to command and did so readily. At the tender age of eighteen she’d been dazzled by that power. Hypnotized by his particular brand of potent sexuality. Mesmerized by the man.
Even now, with his hard masculine body blocking her escape, she felt the hot, hot sizzle of excitement flare inside her. And ignored it.
‘I don’t need your permission, Tariq.’ Her eyes flashed a challenge and anger rose inside her. Anger at herself for responding to a man who had hurt her. ‘I live my life the way I choose to live it and fortunately it no longer includes you. This was a chance meeting which we’d both do well to forget.’
And she was going to forget it, she vowed dizzily, as she struggled to control the throb of her heart and the slow, delicious curl of awareness in her stomach.
These feelings weren’t real. They weren’t what mattered.
‘Do you really think that our meeting tonight has anything to do with chance?’ He was standing so close to her that she could feel the heat of his body burning through the shimmering fabric of her gold dress and, even as she fought against it, she felt her limbs weaken in an instinctive feminine response to his blatant masculinity. Even though she was wearing impossibly high heels, his height and the width of his shoulders ensured that he dominated her physically. Being this close was both torment and temptation and she felt a helpless rush of wild excitement that she was powerless to quash. And she knew, from the sudden harshness of his breathing, that he was feeling it too.
It had always been that way between them.
From that first day at the beach.
From their first kiss at the Caves of Zatua, deep in the desert.
It was the reason why she’d made such a total fool of herself. She’d been blinded by a physical attraction so powerful and shattering that it transcended common sense and cultural differences.
For a moment she stood, frozen into stillness by the strength of his presence. There was something intensely sexual about him. Something raw and untamed. Something primitively male. She’d sensed it from the first moment of meeting him and she felt it again now as she stood, trapped by her own uncontrollable response to him. Her nipples hardened and thrust against the fabric of her dress and something dark and dangerous uncurled low in her stomach and spread through her body.
And then sounds of laughter from the ballroom broke the sensual spell that had stifled her ability to think and move.
With a flash of mortification, she stepped away from him and reminded herself of the lessons she’d learned in the wild desert land of Tazkash. She’d learned that a deep enduring love combined with wild, ferocious, untamed passion wasn’t always enough.
She’d learned that he was ruthless and cynical and that their personalities and expectations just didn’t match.
‘You expect me to believe that you engineered this?’ She threw her head back and laughed. ‘Tariq, you were at such pains to be rid of me five years ago that I know that cannot possibly be true. I was unsuitable, remember? You were ashamed of me.’
Just as her mother had been ashamed of her.
‘You were young.’ His tone was cool. ‘I’ve watched you with interest over the years.’
Her eyes widened in shock. ‘Watched me?’
‘Of course.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘You’re rarely out of the press. Designers fight to have you wear their clothes on the red carpet. If you wear a dress, then it sells.’
And how sad was that? Farrah mused, producing a false smile designed to indicate that such an ‘accolade’ mattered to her. In truth, the thought that people regarded her—her—as a fashion icon was as ridiculous as it was laughable. Almost as laughable as the idea that Tariq had noticed and cared.
He was a man who negotiated peace settlements and billion dollar oil deals. It was hard to believe that he could be genuinely interested in something as superficial as the contents of her wardrobe, but she’d long since resigned herself to the fact that her priorities seemed to be different from those of almost everyone else on the planet. She cared about different things.
But, thanks to her mother, she’d learned to stay quiet about her real interests. Had learned to play the game she was expected to play and she played it now, lifting her chin, hiding behind the image she’d created for herself. She watched his eyes narrow as he studied her expression.
‘You’ve developed poise, Farrah. And elegance.’
And duplicity. She was the master of pretence. Concealing her frustration behind another smile, she wondered why it was that everyone was so obsessed with how she looked on the outside. Didn’t anyone care about the person behind the glitter? Wasn’t anyone interested in who she really was?
Memories, painful and hurtful, twisted inside her.
For a short blissful time she’d thought Tariq was interested. She’d thought he cared. But she’d been wrong.
And his rejection had been the final spur for her to reinvent herself. To finally become the woman her mother had always wanted her to be. At least for part of the time. For the rest of the time she led an entirely different life. The life she wanted to lead. A life that few knew about.
A life she had absolutely no intention of sharing with Tariq.
‘I’m glad you approve,’ she said smoothly, stepping aside so that she could walk past him. ‘And now I need to go and—’
‘You’re not going anywhere.’ Without hesitation, he caught her round the waist and jerked her towards him. She lifted a hand in an instinctive gesture of defense, but it was too late. Her body had felt the hard brush of his thighs and responded instantly.
She shook her head to clear the clouds of dizziness and sucked in a lungful of air but even that was a mistake because the air contained the delicious, erotic scent of him and the clouds around her brain just grew denser.
Struggling
