I said to Not Bird, who’d woken up from his nap and was fluttering next to me.
‘NOT!’ he squawked, dodging a lamppost, which is my second name, in case you’d forgotten.
58
‘Dindle!’ smiled a fat lady standing outside the tall brown building. She was quite a bit older than my mum, and had ten arms. Her hair looked like it was made out of an enormous smelly green mop, and her nose was all pointy like a beak.
Apart from that, she seemed quite nice.
59
‘Bunny!’ buzzed Dindle, and I guessed her name must be Bunny.
‘Ooh, it’s good to see you, Dindle!’ grinned Bunny, hugging Dindle with her ten arms, and his thirteen eyes bulged out of their hairy sockets.
‘And who do we have here?’ she said, peering down at me.
60
Dindle explained how I’d been zapped into the future and turned into a half rat, half boy, half TV.
‘My name’s Colin Lamppost,’ I said. ‘And this is my sidekick, Not Bird.’
‘RATBOY! RATBOY!’ squawked Not Bird, pointing his beak at me, and I nudged him away while staring through the window of Bunny Deli. Inside were three weird-looking kids, sitting at a table, chatting and laughing.
61
One of them was a boy with two faces. He was wearing a shiny red suit with two little wings sticking out of the hood. Covering the top half of his two faces were two masks, one for each set of eyes.
Next to him sat an alien with a big bald blue head. His eyeballs were black, and he had pointy, dinosaurish teeth.
62
The third kid was a girl with round glasses and five arms - two on each side and one in the middle. She was wearing one of those long white coats scientists wear, except with five arm-sleeves instead of the usual two.
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