It’s one of the tasks none of us likes. The gooseberry thorns are sharp and long. Then there’s the pushing them through the sieve to get rid of the skins. I try not to think badly of it, but it always seems a lot of work for very little to eat.
‘I could help you, Pearl,’ Ellis says. I hadn’t been expecting it and I feel my cheeks redden. ‘You’d have to teach me how to do it, though.’
‘You’ll be needed in the work barn,’ Kate says.
‘Talking here won’t get anything done,’ Elizabeth interrupts. She rubs the base of her back.
‘Come on,’ says Kate, and she pulls lightly on Ellis’s arm. I think I should stay and help Elizabeth, but there’s something about Ellis that makes me want to be close to him. Something I don’t understand. So the three of us walk out from the vegetable garden, over the field and into the shade of the trees that hide our lake.
We walk without speaking. There’s just the sound of dry leaves under our feet. When we get to the lake, I watch Ellis’s eyes and I know that he’s impressed. How could he not be? Surely there’s nowhere on the Outside like this. The water is still as ice, patterned with striking sky blue and deepest greens. Patches of bugs hover and swoop and fly.
Ellis nods his head slowly as he looks around him. Kate and I are watching him as he bends down and picks a thick, flat piece of grass. He puts his thumbs hard on either side of it and brings it to his lips. A high, raspy call fills the air and shoots through the forest.
I stare at him. Did I just hear Mother Nature?
‘How did you do that?’ Kate asks. She seems uncertain of him, suddenly.
‘You’ve never seen anyone blow grass before?’ He’s chuckling at us. And I realise now that it’s a trick. Mother Nature wasn’t working with him after all. And why would she? This strange boy with long hair has an edge that makes me mistrust him.
‘No,’ I say strongly. I bet there’s plenty at Seed he’s never seen before. Things much more magical than making grass sing.
Ellis’s expression changes slightly. ‘Have you lived here all your lives?’ he asks. I don’t think he’s mocking us now. He seems curious. The change in him confuses me.
‘Of course,’ I say.
‘Yes,’ says Kate, more quietly.
‘So you were born here?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, whose mum is whose?’
It’s only a few words, but they make my thoughts stumble. So it’s Kate who speaks. ‘Papa S says that Nature is our Mother.’
‘What, you grew out of the ground?’ Ellis laughs, but when he looks at me, his expression changes. ‘Do you not know who your real mum is?’
A knot of anger is building in me. ‘We don’t need to know,’ I say. But I know that’s not true. Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to know. It’s forbidden, but it pulls me, and almost every time I’m with Elizabeth, I long to really be hers.
‘Teach me how you do that,’ Kate interrupts, pointing to the grass in Ellis’s hand. He looks at me briefly. I think he’s worried that he’s upset me, so I hold my head high and smile at him.
‘Here.’ Ellis bends down and picks two more pieces of grass. His hand touches mine as he passes one to me. ‘Put your thumbs like this. Hold them down hard. Leave a little gap, though.’ He reaches over and separates Kate’s thumbs slightly. She doesn’t say a word. ‘Then bring them up to your mouth and blow gently.’
We do as he says. All I can hear is my breath, but straight away from Kate there is a high-pitched sound – faint, but definitely there.
‘I did it,’ she says, laughing.
‘Do it again,’ Ellis says, so she does. And this time it’s louder, a confident call to the birds. She doesn’t stop. Her head is tipped up to the treetops, her thumbs and lips making music.
‘You try again, Pearl.’ Ellis isn’t looking at Kate. He’s watching me. ‘It’s easy.’
So I do. I press my thumbs hard onto the flat strip of grass, and watch as the skin around my nails turns blotchy white and red. I want to be able to do it. I want to show Ellis that I can make the grass sing too.
‘Like this,’ he says, and I copy him as he puts his grass to his mouth. I blow gently against my skin, and the sound makes me jump. So sudden, so definite. A higher sound, it stretches up from my piece of grass and snakes off through the trees.
We stand like this, calling to Nature, trying to change the sounds we make. Our own, strange tune.
Eventually Kate throws her piece of grass down. She takes off her sandals, walks to the bank of the lake and sits to dangle her feet in the cool water.
‘Come and sit down, Ellis,’ she says. ‘I want to know about you.’ He seems a bit surprised, but he walks over to her and takes off his shoes and socks. I put my piece of grass in my pocket and follow them.
The water sends a bolt of cold through my feet.
‘It’s freezing!’ Ellis says, dipping his toes in and out.
‘You’ll get used to it,’ Kate laughs.
‘Wait until you swim in it,’ I say.
‘I don’t think I’ll ever do that.’
‘You will.’ I smile at him. But he’s staring at his feet in the water, keeping them down. It’s strange that it feels so right that he’s here.
‘So, where do you come from?’ Kate asks him. She pulls her hair back and drapes it over her shoulder, tips her head slightly to shield her eyes from the sun.
Ellis keeps looking at the water. ‘Near Southampton, most recently,’ he says.
‘Where’s that?’ It’s only a small question, but when he glances at me, his eyes have changed again.
‘You don’t know where Southampton is?’ He’s not laughing at me. It’s something more than that.
‘No,’ I reply, looking at Kate.
‘How are we meant to know if we’ve never left here?’ Her voice is strong as she glares at him.
‘What do you mean, you’ve never left here?’
‘What don’t you understand?’ She pulls her feet out from the water and starts to dry them with her hands.
‘We go to the market,’ I say. I don’t like the way he’s looking at us, a sort of mixture of disbelief and pity. ‘We don’t need anything else.’
‘How do you know what you need if you’ve never seen it?’ He’s taken his feet from the water too. He’s trying to pull his socks back on, but they’re sticking to his skin.
‘If
