Defy Me. Tahereh Mafi
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And I know my priority right now needs to be Juliette.
When I reach her I pull her into my arms, and her cold, unresponsive body reminds me of the time I found her standing over Anderson, a gun aimed at his chest. She was so terrified—so surprised—by what she’d done that she could hardly speak. She looked like she’d disappeared into herself somewhere—like she’d found a small room in her brain and had locked herself inside. It took a minute to coax her back out again.
She hadn’t even killed anyone that time.
I try to warm some sense into her, begging her now to return to herself, to hurry back to her mind, to the present moment.
“I know everything is crazy right now, but I need you to snap out of this, J. Wake up. Get out of your head. We have to get out of here.”
She doesn’t blink.
“Princess, please,” I say, shaking her a little. “We have to go—now—”
And when she still doesn’t move, I figure I have no choice but to move her myself. I start hauling her backward. Her limp body is heavier than I expect, and she makes a small, wheezing sound that’s almost like a sob. Fear sparks in my nerves. I nod at Castle and the others to go, to move on without me, but when I glance around, looking for Warner, I realize I can’t find him anywhere.
What happens next knocks the wind from my lungs.
The room tilts. My vision blackens, clears, and then darkens only at the edges in a dizzying moment that lasts hardly a second. I feel off-center. I stumble.
And then, all at once—
Juliette is gone.
Not figuratively. She’s literally gone. Disappeared. One second she’s in my arms, and the next, I’m grasping at air. I blink and spin around, convinced I’m losing my mind, but when I scan the room I see the audience members begin to stir. Their shirts are torn and their faces are scratched, but no one appears to be dead. Instead, they begin to stand, confused, and as soon as they start shuffling around, someone shoves me, hard. I look up to see Ian swearing at me, telling me to get moving while we still have a chance, and I try to push back, try to tell him that we lost Juliette—that I haven’t seen Warner—and he doesn’t hear me, he just forces me forward, offstage, and when the murmur of the crowd grows into a roar, I know I have no choice.
I have to go.
“I’m going to kill him,” she says, her small hands forming fists. “I’m going to kill him—”
“Ella, don’t be silly,” I say, and walk away.
“One day,” she says, chasing after me, her eyes bright with tears. “If he doesn’t stop hurting you, I swear I’ll do it. You’ll see.”
I laugh.
“It’s not funny!” she cries.
I turn to face her. “No one can kill my dad. He’s unkillable.”
“No one is unkillable,” she says.
I ignore her.
“Why doesn’t your mum do anything?” she says, and she grabs my arm.
When I meet her eyes she looks different. Scared.
“Why doesn’t anyone stop him?”
The wounds on my back are no longer fresh, but, somehow, they still hurt. Ella is the only person who knows about these scars, knows what my dad started doing to me on my birthday two years ago. Last year, when all the families came to visit us in California, Ella had barged into my room, wanting to know where Emmaline and Nazeera had gone off to, and she’d caught me staring at my back in the mirror.
I begged her not to say anything, not to tell anyone what she saw, and she started crying and said that we had to tell someone, that she was going to tell her mom and I said, “If you tell your mom I’ll only get into more trouble. Please don’t say anything, okay? He won’t do it again.”
But he did do it again.
And this time he was angrier. He told me I was seven years old now, and that I was too old to cry.
“We have to do something,” she says, and her voice shakes a little. Another tear steals down the side of her face and, quickly, she wipes it away. “We have to tell someone.”
“Stop,” I say. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“But—”
“Ella. Please.”
“No, we have t—”
“Ella,” I say, cutting her off. “I think there’s something wrong with my mom.”
Her face falls. Her anger fades. “What?”
I’d been terrified, for weeks, to say the words out loud, to make my fears real. Even now, I feel my heart pick up.
“What do you mean?” she says. “What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s . . . sick.”
Ella blinks at me. Confused. “If she’s sick we can fix her. My mum and dad can fix her. They’re so smart; they can fix anything. I’m sure they can fix your mum, too.”
I’m shaking my head, my heart racing now, pounding in my ears. “No, Ella, you don’t understand—I think—”
“What?” She takes my hand. Squeezes. “What is it?”
“I think my dad is killing her.”
We’re all running.
Base isn’t far from here, and our best option is to go on foot. But the minute we hit the open air, the group of us—myself, Castle, Winston, injured Brendan, Ian, and Alia—go invisible. Someone shouts a breathless thanks in my direction, but I’m not the one doing this.