did her best to distract herself by turning her attention to the entryway. The walls were cream-colored and the floor was a dark, highly polished hardwood. To her left she saw an elegant formal dining room. To her right, closed French doors leading to an office or study.
There were carved moldings around the ceiling and elegantly framed paintings and photographs on the wall.
“Your home is lovely,” she said, feeling both awkward and out of place.
“Thanks. I’m not taking any credit. My grandfather collected art and passed it on to me. My grandmother is responsible for all the antiques. The most I’ve done is to get a decorator in here to update a few of the rooms. But my idea of high-class is a jukebox and some sports posters.”
She doubted that, but appreciated his effort to make her feel comfortable. Not that she could ever imagine that happening.
He led the way into a family room dominated by a huge old Spanish-style fireplace. There were large overstuffed sofas and comfy looking chairs. A built-in case held plenty of electronics, but she didn’t see a television anywhere. She eyed the big painting over the fireplace and wondered if the TV was one of those expensive wall-mounted types, hiding behind art. If she knew Dev better, she would have asked, but as it was, she gingerly settled on the edge of a sofa cushion and wished she knew what to do with her hands.
“Do you want something to drink?” he asked. “Juice, soda, water?”
“Just water,” she said.
“Okay. Be right back.”
She jumped up to follow him, then sank onto the couch. Her heart pounded in her chest and her throat was so tight, she thought she might choke. If there had been any way out of the situation, she would have bolted for freedom. But all those doors seemed firmly closed, so she was simply going to have to figure out how to get through all this. Maybe in time things would get better.
He returned with a glass and a bottle of water. “Do you like Mexican food?” he asked.
She took everything and set it on the coffee table, then nodded. “Do you cook?”
He chuckled. “I make coffee and pour cereal in a bowl. This is from a great restaurant I’ve been going to for years. I picked up a little bit of everything, so you’ll have a choice.”
“Thank you.”
She couldn’t imagine ever eating again, what with the nerves dancing around in her stomach, but she could probably fake eating if she had to.
Dev sat at the other end of the sofa and faced her. “Noelle, I know this is a difficult situation for both of us. We’re strangers who have agreed to get married for the sake of a child who is probably smaller than a grape right now.”
The grape reference made her smile and some of her tension eased a little. At least he wasn’t acting like all this was normal. She also appreciated that he was willing to take charge. Right now she couldn’t imagine having to make a bunch of decisions about anything significant.
“So we’ll go slowly,” he continued. “We have some details to work out, and we’ll get to them, but maybe we should just talk first and get to know each other.”
“That’s a good idea.” She poured her water, then looked at the glass. “Only I have to tell you something first.”
She risked glancing at him. He was handsome, she thought, which was interesting but not really important to the matter at hand. Still, if she had to look at a stranger over breakfast for the next two years, Dev was a nicelooking one. He was also kind and obviously loved his brother. More good news.
He waited patiently while she gathered her thoughts. She half stood, then sank back onto the sofa.
“I was going to tell you I changed my mind,” she said, forcing herself to meet his dark gaze. “Nothing about this situation feels right to me. We’re not in love. As you just said, we don’t even know each other. While my pregnancy is a complication, it doesn’t seem like a big enough one for us to go through with this. I meant what I said before—that marriage is an important and sacred commitment and one I take very seriously.”
“You think I don’t?” he asked.
“I didn’t mean that, exactly,” she said, desperately wanting to look away but refusing to.
“I do take it seriously,” he told her. “I will honor our wedding vows, Noelle. This isn’t a game to me.”
“I didn’t think it was a game,” she said slowly, feeling that they were offtrack. She’d had a whole speech prepared and—
“It’s not as if I’ll be dating,” he said.
Dating? She hadn’t thought about that. He was a man who was used to being with women. Lots of different women. Maybe not at the same time, but still. She looked down and fought a blush.
“I didn’t think about that,” she admitted. “Your side of it. I…You’ve always had women in your life.” Didn’t he have to have those women for his needs? Weren’t men supposed to have needs? In theory women had needs, too, but based on that single night with Jimmy, she couldn’t imagine why they would want to acknowledge them.
“You’re asking about sex,” he said bluntly.
She swallowed, then nodded.
“I meant what I said,” he told her, using her words. “I’m not doing this to seduce you.”
She totally believed that. She wasn’t his type at all. But if he wasn’t going to sleep with her and he wasn’t going to date, what was he going to do? Two years was a long time. She couldn’t imagine him simply doing without.
But there was no way she could ask and they were completely off topic.
“I appreciate the no dating thing,” she said. “It would be difficult to explain. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to tell you that I’d changed my mind. That I wasn’t willing to go through with this. I went home to talk to my mom and get her to help me figure out how to say all that.”
She glanced at him and saw him watching her. There was no way she could tell what he was thinking, which was probably a good thing.
“What happened?” he asked.
Noelle explained about the job change and the stack of bills. “They’re still paying for my hospital stay and the physical therapy. I feel so horrible about that.”
“It’s not your fault,” he said. “You didn’t run into the tree on purpose.”
“I know, but guilt is such a time-honored tradition. Anyway, I realized I couldn’t burden them with another child. In a couple of years, I’ll be on my feet and they won’t have to worry about me.” She glanced down at her lap, then back at him. “I’m taking the easy way out. I wanted you to know that.”
Noelle spoke with a combination of shame and conviction Dev had never seen before. There had been no reason for her to confess all this to him. He wondered how much of her need to bare all came from her age and how much of it was who she was inside.
“This
