her life would have been lonely indeed. Both at school and during the holidays. Clarissa’s father—her mother had died years before—welcomed Belinda into his household. As he was a man with many interests the girls were left to enjoy themselves. Hence her chance to watch Phillip and his amour.
Clarissa had the toothache and had retired to bed with oil of cloves. Phillip had turned up unannounced just after lunch and Belinda had stumbled upon him and Rosemary on her afternoon stroll. She still had a crescent-shaped scar on the base of her thumb where she’d had an argument with the blackthorn as she had finally extracted herself from it and the rhododendron.
In general though, Phillip was not around much so it was no wonder on the odd occasion their paths did cross, he never noticed her, other than as his sister’s friend. They achieved an amicable friendship albeit a distant one. No doubt he saw her as an extension of his little sister, and not someone to pay specific attention to. In one perverse way it was a relief. She didn’t want to discover his feet of clay or have her daydreams shattered. Sometimes reality was not the best thing to have.
Even though his actions were of a man who admired women, and thought they were put on the earth for his entertainment and enjoyment, he genuinely seemed to like his companions and none ever spoke a bad word about him. Not the attitude she perceived in her father or brothers. They, Belinda decided, treated women like rubbish, to be discarded when finished with and no longer needed. It was not an attitude she approved of, especially when it so often applied to her. It was no wonder she was wary of any man who even glanced her way.
Her upbringing had taught her that attention generally meant work for her to do, and no thanks or quarter given. If it wasn’t for Phillip, Belinda would have no positive thoughts about the males of the species at all. Even so, as she watched him sail through life, at times she did wonder if there was much difference between him and the others? Did any of them ever think about what they were doing and how it affected the recipients of their attention?
Somehow she thought not.
Especially, when at seventeen, her world as she knew it ended.
* * *
‘What?’ Lady Belinda Howells wiped her suddenly clammy hands on her apron as she stared in astonishment at Cedric, Lord Howells, who unfortunately was also her father. She shook her head and pressed her ears several times, convinced she was hearing things. ‘Are you mad?’
He scowled back at her, and defied her to reply further.
That of course was a red rag to a bull. Especially after his announcement. Which she noticed he seemed to have no intention of repeating.
‘I asked if you were suffering from something untoward in the head,’ she said with perfect clarity. ‘If you were deranged. What did you say?’
‘You heard me.’ He stomped his malacca cane—needed for effect not for illness—on the floor.
If there were any justice in this world he would’ve hit his toes. Sadly he didn’t.
‘You’re not deaf,’ he said irritably. ‘You heard me very well.’
Unfortunately. It was yet another example of how men behaved: Women meant nothing to them except as a commodity.
‘You want me to do what?’ Could she really believe her ears? ‘Are you bosky?’ Surely he had to be? He was her father for goodness’ sake. The man supposed to protect her from all harm. ‘I’m not yet out. Not been presented or had a season. Nothing. And you ask something like this of me? Never. Never, ever. What sort of father are you?’ She paced her father’s study and ignored the way his hands curled into fists around his cane and his cheeks grew red. ‘Actually if you ask this of me you are no father. You dare to tell me I must marry? Just to save you from your gambling debts and my brothers from their…their debauchery.’ Belinda stared at him, willing him to say it was all a mistake, that he was her father and would never do such a thing. She counted to ten. ‘Why should I pay the price for your immorality and spendthrift ways?’
‘You are my responsibility; you do as I say.’ He didn’t meet her eyes. With anyone else she would see that as a sign of remorse. Not with her father. With him it meant he had no intention of entering into an argument. He expected obedience.
Belinda had no intention of giving it to him. ‘You’re selling me to further your own needs. You, my own flesh and blood. How could you? Parents are supposed to protect their children. Love and cherish them, not, not…’ She stopped speaking, and whirled around to stare at him. How on earth could she put into words how abhorrent his demands were? Her stomach churned. ‘You can’t even look me in the eyes, can you? Too scared I’ll see the lack of love and the abundance of self-interest you have?’ Bile rose in her throat and she swallowed heavily. ‘You are pathetic. I will not be sold.’
‘Now look here, Belinda.’ He did look up then, and his eyes were cold and distant. He spoke in a hectoring tone. ‘If I say you’ll marry the man, marry him you will.’
He sounded as if it was a certainty. Belinda so wished to disabuse him of that fact.
‘Mr Featherstonehaugh is a person of substance,’ her father said. ‘He is someone I can not afford to get on the wrong side of.’
Now they were getting to the bottom of it all. Once more she was but a pawn in his game, whatever it was this time.
‘You, all you. Not me. And why, pray? I suppose you’ve lost money to him.’ Belinda looked at her father in disgust. Ever since her mother died, her father and her two older brothers had lived profligate lives, with scant regard for Belinda. Her father had demanded she leave school and come home to manage his house, but gave her precious little money with which to do so. She must be one of the few—if not the only—daughters of the aristocracy with patched and darned undergarments, and only one pair of house shoes to her name. Now it seemed even that money-saving exercise was not enough. ‘What have you wagered this time?’
He stared at her, his eyes narrow.
‘You.’
To her disgust he showed no shame or remorse over his actions. But why should she expect him to? If she were honest, Belinda had long known he only saw her as a way to save—or in this case, make—money.
‘Me?’ Belinda stared back at him as she went cold and her skin became clammy. Spots danced in front of her eyes, and she swallowed. It would not do to swoon at that moment. Not when she had to be strong and as forceful, if not more so, than her parent. All her worries and concerns seemed to come to the fore. She most definitely was a chattel. ‘What do you mean, me?’
Her father poured himself a large glass of brandy and shrugged. He didn’t offer one to Belinda. For one brief moment she considered doing so herself, but she hated brandy, and the way things were going, she would be more likely to throw it in her father’s face. That was not the way to proceed. Not if she was to best him.
‘He wants to marry into the aristocracy. I said he could marry you. I didn’t wager you as such. I just said it as a way out.’ He took a healthy swallow of spirit. ‘Featherstonehaugh agreed to tear up my vowels, and those of your brothers, once you sign your wedding lines.’
Belinda looked at him closely. Did he not realise what he’d done? As she told him earlier and he’d ignored, he, her father, had in effect sold her and it seemed as if he thought it acceptable. What had she done to deserve that? She shook her head. ‘What good would that do? You still
