and special occasions. They wouldn’t have forgotten her all those times or accidentally left her to fend for herself on school vacations. If they hadn’t sent her off to live with distant relatives or family friends, she would have some sort of relationship today with her mother and father.
But now she knew her parents didn’t get the full blame. There was something wrong with her. It didn’t matter how freely and completely she gave her love; she would not get it in return. She was unlovable.
Lacey stood and walked to the balcony doors and peered outside. No lights glowed against the darkness. Outside appeared silent and empty.
If only her mind would quiet down like the town below her. She leaned her head against the glass pane that was now cool from the desert night. The moment Hafiz had left, fragmented thoughts and fears had bombarded her mind. She’d paced her room as unspoken questions whirled through her head. She’d stared numbly at the walls for hours.
No matter how much the housekeeper had tried to tempt her with food, Lacey refused to eat. Her throat, swollen and achy from crying, would surely choke on the smallest morsel. Sustenance meant nothing and she had curled up on Hafiz’s side of the bed. There she had muffled her cries in his pillow when one more minute of living without him became unbearable.
Her mind felt as chaotic as the clothes jumbled inside her suitcase. She packed her belongings, which were pathetically few. It was a mocking symbol of the emptiness of her life before she’d met Hafiz and her barren future without him. Only now she had even less, because she was leaving everything behind along with her heart.
Lacey frowned, trying to hold her emotions together. There were too many things she had to do, like finding a new home.
Lacey pressed the heels of her hands against her puffy eyes. The business of breaking up was beyond her. She needed a fresh start. Somewhere that held no memories. A place where Hafiz couldn’t find her.
Not that he would follow her across the world. He’d made his choice. And it wasn’t her. It was never going to be her.
She didn’t want to know anything about the woman who got to share Hafiz’s life. The one who would wear his ring, bear his name and carry his children in her womb. Lacey blinked as her eyes stung, but she’d already used up her tears.
Lacey twisted around when she heard the key in the lock. Hope stuttered through her exhausted body as Hafiz entered. He halted when he saw her across the room.
“Hafiz.” She instinctively moved toward him like a moth to a flame. “What are you doing here?”
She stared at him, memorizing every detail. He was dressed like a laborer. While the outfit was an unusual choice for a member of the royal family, Hafiz lent a sophisticated elegance to the rough work clothes.
The simple tunic was as black as his short hair. The cotton sluiced down his muscular chest and skimmed past his knees. His jeans strained against his powerful legs as he slid his feet out of scuffed sandals. His high-tech watch was nowhere to be found, but the royal ring gleamed proudly on his hand.
“I wasn’t sure you would be here.” His hands clenched and unclenched the keys.
Lacey guiltily flashed a look in the direction of the bedroom where her bags were packed and stowed away under the bed. “And you’re checking up on me?” she asked as her eyebrows arched with disbelief. “You could have called.”
“No. I came here to say goodbye.” He set down the key with hypnotic slowness. “Tonight.”
She froze as the words pummeled her bruised heart. Tonight? Her chest heaved, and she struggled for her next breath. “Now?”
Hafiz nodded. “I had a meeting with the sultan earlier this evening.” He stared at the keys as though he wanted to snatch them back. “If any of my actions prevent the forthcoming marriage, I will lose everything.”
“Your father threatened you?” she whispered in horror.
“The sultan warned me,” he corrected. “And I can’t help but wonder if he knows about you. Maybe not your name or where you live, but that I have someone like you in my life.”
Someone like you... The phrase scratched at her. What did that mean? More importantly, what did it mean to Hafiz?
She stood in front of him, and placed her hand on his arm, offering him comfort. Not that he needed it. Hafiz had the strength to stand alone. “You shouldn’t be forced to marry someone you don’t love.”
Her words seemed to startle him. “Lacey,” Hafiz said in a groan as he cupped her cheek with his hand. “A royal marriage never has anything to do with love. It has always been that way.”
She closed her eyes as she leaned into his hand, knowing it would be the last time he would caress her. She gathered the last of her self-discipline and withdrew from his touch. Energy arced and flared between them.
“I will miss you, Hafiz,” she said brokenly as her throat closed up. The tears she thought couldn’t happen beaded on her eyelashes.
Hafiz let out a shuddering breath. He swept his fingertip against the corner of her eye, taking her tears with him. The moisture clung to his knuckle, and he rubbed it into his skin with his thumb, silently sharing her agony.
The image took a chink out of her hard-earned resolve. Lacey wrapped her arms around her stomach before she crumbled altogether. “I had so many questions to ask you, and now I can’t remember what they were.” All except for one that danced on her tongue. “Did you ever love me?”
Silence throbbed in the air.
Lacey blinked at the question that had tumbled from her mouth. Of all the things to ask, her mind screamed.
Hafiz went unnaturally still.
“I don’t know why I asked.” She shrugged as her pain intensified. “Please, don’t answer that.”
The words were ripped from deep within her. She desperately wanted to know the answer. She never questioned it before, but she had been living in a fantasy.
Lacey had always felt Hafiz loved her. It was in his touch, in his eyes, and in his smile. But he never said the words, even when she chanted her declaration of love in the height of ecstasy.
It was too late to find out. If he didn’t love her, she would never recover. If he did love her, then she would never let go. Even if he was married, even if he kept her hidden. And she couldn’t let that happen.
Hafiz frowned. “Lacey...”
“Ssh.” She silenced him by pressing her fingers against his parted lips. “Please.”
He covered her hand with his and placed soft kisses in the heart of her palm. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said against her skin.
“Then, come away with me!” She impulsively tangled her fingers with his and pulled him away from the door. His torn expression shamed her. She drew back and let go of his hand. “I’m sorry. That was wrong.”
He moved swiftly and crushed her against him. “I can’t leave Rudaynah,” he whispered, his breath ruffling her hair. “And you can’t stay. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.
