was smiling.
‘Surprised? I wanted to make sure you did something special for your fortieth.’ Brian grinned. Louisa’s mouth opened, but no words would form. She couldn’t fathom why he would have thought this was a good idea in her current state. She had a strong urge to turn around and run back down the stairs, but more people came up behind her, blocking her route. Fleeing didn’t appear to be an option.
This was the worst thing that could’ve happened. What about her relaxing night, the one where she was meant to sleep? A hot ball of irritation burned in the pit of her stomach. This was not a happy surprise but now that she’d been forced into the situation, and quite clearly couldn’t get out of it, Louisa lifted her chin, put her shoulders back and made her way properly into the guest-filled room. After a few hellos and polite thank you for coming statements, Louisa sat at the table nearest the window. If she didn’t sit, she’d collapse. The throng of voices blurred into the background as Louisa stared outside. More people were coming. Surely not for her? How many people did Brian invite? She didn’t even know this many people.
She felt a hand on her knee.
‘I know I tricked you into this, but I really thought … well, we really thought it would do you good. I’m still taking Noah home with Emily after the meal.’ He bounced Noah gently in one arm, but it appeared as though there was no need – the baby was content and settled. ‘So you’ll still have time to yourself.’ His eyes sought hers for approval. She attempted a smile, hoping it looked grateful rather than stabby, which was how she was really feeling.
‘How did you arrange this?’
‘With Tiff’s help, of course. The night away with Tiff was the perfect decoy. It got you here, ready for the surprise to be sprung on you.’ He sounded so chuffed with himself – and granted, he’d actually done a good job keeping it from her. It seemed he was better at keeping secrets than she’d given him credit for. Part of her was relieved that the party was the reason for his constant texting, his sneaky behaviour. Another part, though, couldn’t shake the foreboding sensation deep in her gut.
‘Tiff helped? What’s she done – invited all her friends?’ Louisa gave a quick sweeping glance of the room trying to pinpoint some people she actually knew.
‘No, silly.’ He gave her a hug, kissing the top of her head. Thank God Tiff had convinced her to shower and wash her hair. ‘She went through your friends list.’
‘My what?’ Louisa’s jaw slackened.
‘Your Facebook friends – she said she knew your password as she’d set your profile up and you’d never changed it. Sorry – I thought it would be okay if she did it. She even managed to track down your old college buddies thanks to an invite you’d had to join the alumni. Took her ages – she’s pretty amazing at all this organising stuff, isn’t she?’ He beamed.
The blood in Louisa’s veins cooled, an icy sensation creeping underneath her skin.
She shook her head, unable to formulate the right words. She wanted to scream but, instead, a numbness took over.
‘It wasn’t easy – you’ve never talked about any of them despite me digging over the years – but we thought it would be the ideal time to do some catching up. A reunion of sorts. What better time than this milestone?’
Her breathing shallowed; the room closed in on her. There would never have been a good time for that.
She had to escape this room full of strangers. Because that’s what they were, in effect. None of them really knew her. She silently prayed that none of those on the Exeter College list would turn up. Surely after twenty-two years none of them would even remember who she was? She’d left after her A levels while the majority of her friends had gone on to university, scattering far and wide across the country. Louisa hadn’t kept in contact with anyone. They wouldn’t bother to come to her fortieth when they’d not set eyes on her for all that time. The thought of it even being a possibility, though, set her nerves on edge. Grabbing her handbag, and without looking at Brian, she got up.
As Louisa pushed through the people, she heard multiple ‘happy birthdays’ and her name being spoken, arms reaching out and hands touching her. Muttering her thanks, she quickly moved on, her eyes focused on the stairs. As she reached them she bumped into someone coming the other way.
‘Long time, no see,’ the smooth, deep voice said. A voice that caused tiny electric shocks to spread inside her body. Her prayer hadn’t been answered.
Louisa was paralysed to the spot.
She hadn’t seen him since 1997, but his face was instantly familiar.
Oliver.
Friday p.m.
After what felt like five minutes of silently staring, Louisa’s brain kicked in, her feet finally moving. Without being able to speak, she pushed past Oliver and the unknown woman by his side and, with as much composure as she could muster, descended the stairs. Tiff’s blonde hair was visible above the group of punters congregating at the bar, and as Louisa struggled to get to the exit, she heard Tiff shout to her.
‘Where are you off to?’
Louisa shoved through more people, anger propelling her towards Tiff. Without daring to speak, she snatched one of the glasses of wine off the round tray Tiff held in her hands and knocked back the bitter-tasting liquid in one, before continuing towards the door leading out to the beer garden.
Whatever good intentions Tiff believed she had in going through her Facebook friends list, she shouldn’t have done it. Going one step further than that and accepting the group invitation to join Exeter College leavers on her behalf was just wrong. It wasn’t Tiff’s place to decide what group of friends she should be involved with. And inviting Oliver? Jesus.
Finding a quiet corner of the garden, away from prying eyes, Louisa unzipped her bag and took out the pack of cigarettes. Her head swam, as it usually did with the first few draws. It was worse now though – she had too much alcohol in her system, as well as the tablets. Likely a dangerous mix, but no more dangerous than the mix of people in that room.
‘Are you mad at me?’
She turned sharply at the sound of the voice. Tiff approached Louisa with another glass of wine in her outstretched hand. ‘Here,’ she said. ‘This might take the edge off the shock.’
‘I doubt it.’ The words carried more venom than she’d realised she possessed. She took the drink anyway, not making eye contact with Tiff.
‘I’m sorry. I really thought we were doing something positive, and that it would give you a lift. Organising a small party—’
‘Small? Call that small, Tiff?’ She waved her arm towards the pub. ‘Shit. Small would be my little family and you. And that would’ve been fine. I’d have coped with that. But not this.’ She dragged on her cigarette. Her eyes stung. From the smoke, or from tears, she was unable to distinguish.
Tiff
