sat on the log to unlace, then remove his boots before he moved to the bed and stretched out on his side. He stared up at her and extended his arm, inviting her to willingly come to him, giving her the choice.
Sarah wanted to run away from William’s outstretched hand. She wanted to fall into his arms. She wanted to hide—not just from him, but also from herself and everything she’d become…and everything she’d never be.
In that one heartbeat of indecision, it all crashed in on her. She was a liar, a spy, the Queen’s whore…over and over every rumour that had ever been bandied about reverberated loud in her ears. Never would she be able to escape who, or what, she was.
Unshed tears blurred her vision. A cry lodged in her throat, nearly choking her as she turned away. William cursed softly. Before she could move, he sat up and took away her opportunity to choose by pulling her down next to him.
She rolled on to her side, facing away from him. With one arm wrapped firmly about her waist, he held her fast. ‘This day has been too long. I will bedevil you no further, Sarah. Go to sleep.’
Thankful that this would not be the night for more questions, she closed her eyes. But sleep would not come. It was held at bay by the solid length of his body behind hers, and by the strong beat of his heart against her back.
Every passing heartbeat fed her guilt. And each moment that he held her close, offering protection instead of ravishment, made her worry that she’d not be able to see this plan of Eleanor’s through to the end.
Dear Lord above, what would she do if that proved true? If she betrayed Queen Eleanor, she could likely lose her life. Yet, if she betrayed William, he would lose his. Unless she could somehow talk the Queen out of seeing him dead. Thus far, she’d never been able to change the Queen’s mind on anything, so Sarah held little hope for doing so in the future.
The pounding inside her head was nearly unbearable. And the tightness in her throat, from holding back tears, threatened to strangle her.
William loosened his hold from around her waist, reached up and brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn’t realised had fallen. ‘Rest easy, Sarah, I am not going to hurt you.’
She sniffed, then said, ‘I know that.’ The second the words were out of her mouth she wanted to quickly push them back inside.
He raised up on his elbow and leaned over her. ‘Then what are you crying about?’
‘Crying? What are you talking about? I am not crying. What would I have to cry about? There’s no reason for me to cry. Everything is fine. Go to sleep.’ She spoke so fast that she knew he’d realise she was lying—a witless fool would know.
With his lips against her ear, he whispered, ‘Surely you know that blithering only exposes your lie.’
Since he hadn’t posed a direct question, she said nothing.
William feathered kisses on the sensitive flesh of her neck. His gentle touch sent her heart racing anew, and her mind spinning.
Before she had a chance to calm her flitting senses, he moved back to her ear. ‘I would have thought…that you…would be much better…at fabricating the truth.’
Between words, his lips against her neck, then her ear, chased thrills the length of her spine. Without thought, she answered, ‘So did I.’
At his chuckle, Sarah’s groan of dismay changed quickly to a gasp. The lout had done that on purpose. She pushed at his forearm, hoping he would release her from his embrace.
But instead of releasing her, he tugged her on to her back. ‘Ah, Sarah, how were you ever successful spying for the Queen?’
That was a question she’d like to know the answer to herself. The few men who managed to get her alone long enough to play these games of seduction had never made her mind go numb. Her heart hadn’t pounded like it did now.
In the dim light of the fire she could see only the outline of his form. Still propped up on his elbow, William leaned down towards her. ‘You are such a fraud.’
He brushed her hair from her face, before tracing a finger down the side of her cheek and then across her lips. His touch left a fiery trail on her skin.
William leaned closer and kissed the corner of her mouth. ‘I wonder how much truth there is to the rumours about you.’
Thankfully, he didn’t pursue the issue further, but when she went to move away from him, William draped a leg across hers, effectively preventing any escape. She tensed her muscles and held herself stiff as she waited for him to say, or do…something.
Finally, she reminded him, ‘You said you would not hurt me.’
‘Hurt you?’ He drew a fingertip along her lower lip, repeating the motion when she shivered. ‘Did that hurt?’
Sarah turned her head away. ‘Please, I just want to sleep.’
His sigh echoed into the clearing before he cupped her cheek and brought her back to face him. ‘One kiss, then you can sleep.’
She pursed her lips, then raised her head to quickly touch her mouth to his. ‘There, you’ve had your kiss.’
‘Oh, is that what that was?’ His question wisped across her lips.
‘Ye—’
He quickly covered her mouth with his, cutting off her reply. And for the first time since she had been a child, Sarah felt the icy touch of terror as it weighed heavy and cold within her chest.
Her pulse raced so fast it left her dizzy. This was dangerous. She had to stop him. Had to find some way to make him see reason.
William moved his lips more firmly against hers. Sarah lifted her arms to push him away, to break this maelstrom stealing over her, setting her afire.
But her arms refused to obey, and instead, she encircled him in an embrace, clinging to him for a steady purchase against the shifting ground.
William broke their kiss on a ragged groan and touched his forehead to hers. ‘That was a kiss.’ He rolled on to his back, gathering her against him. ‘Go to sleep.’
Sarah stared across his chest at the fire, wondering if her heart would ever slow down enough so she could sleep.
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