the world a better place.
These two young men come from similar wealth, but have developed into very different people. Both were given every opportunity. One is passionate, appreciative, and ambitious. The other is depressed, resentful, and purposeless. It is human nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So it's easy to understand why someone like James, who has everything, might sit back and enjoy it.
So this begs the question: Why would an incredible rich young man, someone who has more money than he could ever need, someone who is living in the lap of luxury and comfort—why would he join the military, forego comfort and pleasure, risk his life, and be so utterly focused on growing his family's wealth and status?
THE ANCESTOR ROOM
To answer that question, we will visit ancient Rome. Two thousand years ago, Rome was the most powerful civilization in the world. Its aristocrats were incredibly wealthy. They lived in sprawling estates, had slaves to do their manual labor, and received the best education and health care available. The story of Alex mirrors that of many of the children of Roman aristocrats. The clearest path to wealth and status was political, and the quickest path to political office was a resumé of military accomplishments. To this end, these young men would sacrifice all the luxury and comfort that Rome provided to travel thousands of miles away and risk health, life, and limb in the pursuit of military distinction.
The short answer as to why young men behaved that way: It was all about their ancestors. Roman aristocrats had a tradition of making wax masks of the men in their families. The masks were usually made when someone reached the age of 40 and only if he had achieved a noteworthy political rank. The mask was a sign that he had achieved the minimal level of social status needed to be recognized as successful within the family. The mask showed that he was on a similar path to achievement and social prominence as his ancestors who were similarly recognized. These masks were stored in the reception room of their atriums and were arranged next to labels of the highest political offices held by each person. They were worn by actors during funeral processions, but were also shown to visitors.
Next to the collection of wax masks was a chart illustrating the family tree, with painted portraits of the ancestors. Nearby would also be a collection of armor and weapons captured by their ancestors, prominently displayed family achievements that would be seen by anyone who visited the home.
Located in the entryway and near the center of the villa, these tributes to the family's history and accomplishments were displayed for all to see. It would not have been uncommon for the family to walk visitors through the space, showing off the military trophies and political distinctions and telling stories about the trials, tribulations, and achievements of their ancestors.
Imagine what it would have been like to have been a child growing up in such a home, hearing stories about the various artifacts, pictures, and accomplishments of your ancestors, which were so prominently displayed. What must it have been like to have been shown a sword taken from a Carthaginian officer by your great-great grandfather in the Battle of Agrigentum in Sicily or hearing about how your grandfather helped restore Roman honor as a general in the Battle of Carthage in North Africa?
This deep connection to the past would help you make sense of the privilege you were now enjoying, and more important, the sense of duty and responsibility that accompany your privilege. Imagine how your self-esteem would be bolstered as you were told that you, as a direct descendent, have the same blood coursing through your veins. That the traits of courage and wile are built into your very being. You would believe that the highest levels of accomplishment for you are not only possible but are expected. That your ancestors are watching you, supporting you, and encouraging you to take the family to the next level. It is not hard to imagine that growing up in this way, you might develop an intrinsic motivation to do your part to maintain and grow your family's wealth and status and the belief that you could do it.
SO WHAT'S IN YOUR ANCESTRY ROOM?
When was the last time you visited someone's home and saw busts and portraits of their ancestors lining their walls? Interestingly, some of the most generationally successful families do have pictures of their ancestors displayed prominently, but for most of us, this is just not the case. It makes sense though, because, for rare exceptions, many of our ancestors never achieved significant fortune or status and few could afford an artist to paint a portrait. Many Americans are the descendants of immigrants. Aside from the occasionally wealthy adventurer, no one in their right mind would choose to leave a life of wealth and privilege to get on a boat and travel across the world to start over in a country where they knew no one and often didn't even speak the language.
If there were busts of your ancestors, with the possible exception of your parents or grandparents who may have been able to capitalize on the opportunities for socioeconomic advancement, the busts would likely not be of those who accomplished great things as measured in our culture or by ancient Roman standards. Instead you would see pictures and artifacts of refugees, indentured workers, slaves, and immigrants.
For most Americans, you would be looking at the historical legacy of poverty. Many of our ancestors came to America in an attempt to escape the depredations of political upheavals, poverty, calamity, disease, and natural disaster, or were forced to come here against their will. For many of us, our more recent ancestors would be represented by the tools and artifacts of farmers, auto workers, government employees, cooks, or laborers.
So, if you closed your eyes and imagined the hall of fame for your ancestors, what would you see? What financial legacy did they pass down to you? What beliefs about money did they pass on to you? What beliefs about what is possible did you inherit?
WHY AREN'T YOU RICH?
If you are like many Americans, your family has been in the land of opportunity for generations. So why weren't more of us born into an ultra-wealthy families? Take a moment to answer this question for yourself. Your most valuable answer in terms of truly understanding yourself will be the first thought that popped into your mind. You may be tempted to modify this so that it sounds more rational. Resist the temptation and stay with the image that first popped into your mind. Let the implications of that belief unfold. Just let it flow.
If your ancestors achieved financial success, congratulations! Now that doesn't mean that they passed this down to you, but hopefully, you have benefited from either the resources they were able to build or the mindset that allowed them to become successful. But if you are like most of us, ask yourself this question: Why weren't your ancestors rich?
So why aren't you rich? The answer is simple: You and/or your ancestors didn't successfully hoard enough money or valuable objects. Of course, there are a plethora of other considerations, but in strict behavioral terms, that's pretty much it. Rich people have amassed a bunch of money for themselves. Poor people have not. It turns out that high financial net worth is not about how much money you make; it is defined by how much money you save.
Here are two possible causes for your ancestors not becoming wealthy. The first is that they were dedicated to the concept of saving money, but they were unable to do so because the money or the opportunity to learn about money was not afforded them. This would include having been the unfortunate victims of oppressive governments, discrimination, or any number of atrocities throughout human history from which they were not able to recover.
The second possible cause is that they didn't buy into the concept of hoarding. According to Dictionary.com, hoard is defined as “a stock or store of money or valued objects, typically one that is secret or carefully guarded.”1 There are several key elements to this definition. First, it requires someone to stock up and save money or valuable objects. Second, it requires someone to protect, preserve, and
