of the population (such as slaves) while in others nearly everyone married; in some groups divorce was easy and in others impossible; in some groups premarital sexuality was acceptable or even expected and in others it was harshly punished; in some groups the oldest son inherited everything (primogeniture) and in others all children, or all sons, shared in inheritance (partible inheritance); in some groups marriage was early and in others it was late; in some groups, people married within their group (endogamy) and in others outside of their group (exogamy); in some groups spouses were about the same age while in others they were very different ages; in some groups contraception, abortion, and even infanticide were acceptable practices of limiting the number of children, while in others these were strictly prohibited.
All of these variables interacted and changed over time for a host of reasons. In both ancient Mesopotamia and ancient Egypt, marriage was generally monogamous, though men could and did have more than one wife if their economic status was high enough or if their wife had not produced an heir. Government took an interest in family life. About a third of one of the world’s earliest written law codes, that of King Hammurabi (1792–1750 BCE) of Babylon (part of Mesopotamia), were laws regarding marriage and family life, most of which were gendered. For example, a husband could divorce his wife without returning her dowry if she “made up her mind to leave in order that she may engage in business, thus neglecting her house and humiliating her husband” and could drown her if she “has been caught lying with another man.” The code does not mention punishment for a married man who had sex with a woman not his wife, leaving the impression that it was not forbidden.
Many of the gender patterns in family life that developed in the world’s earliest civilizations carried over into the classical cultures of Eurasia (roughly 500 BCE–500 CE), though they became more rigid as written law codes expanded and religious and philosophical systems posited clear gender distinctions. The family was generally regarded as the basis of society, and rights to political positions were usually limited to male heads of households. As in Mesopotamia and Egypt, most people married, though in some places certain marriages, such as those between slaves, between a slave and a free person, or between persons of different social classes, were prohibited. Although men were allowed mistresses, of equal or lower class, a higher‐status woman could not have legitimate sexual relations with a lower‐status man, and in some places could be harshly punished for these. Household size depended on social status, with wealthier households comprising relatives and servants living together in a large compound and smaller, less affluent living in nuclear family units. Whatever a household’s size or composition, everyone living within it was under the authority of the male head of household which, upon his death, passed to the eldest son or other male in the hierarchy.
Marriages linked social groups, and weddings were central occasions in a family’s life. Spouses were chosen carefully by parents, other family members, or marriage brokers, and much of a family’s resources went toward the ceremony and setting up the new household. Marital agreements, especially among the well‐to‐do, were stipulated with contracts between the families involved, a practice that continued for centuries throughout the world, and in many areas continues today. In China during the Han dynasty (202 BCE–220 CE) marriages involved the exchange of an elaborate trove of betrothal gifts between the families of the bride and groom. A marriage with no betrothal gift or dowry was dishonorable, with the woman often considered a concubine rather than a wife. Once all these goods had been exchanged, the bride was taken to the ancestral home of the groom, where she was expected to obey her husband and his living relatives, and to honor his ancestors. Confucian teachings required upper‐class men to carry out specific rituals honoring their ancestors and clan throughout their lives, and to have sons so that these rituals could continue. Men’s names were inscribed on the official family list, and women’s on the list of their marital families once they had a son (Watson and Ebrey, 1991).
In the postclassical period (500 CE–1500 CE), philosophical and religious ideals of family honor and sexual propriety led to the seclusion of elite women within their households in China, India, and much of the Islamic world. The vast majority of people in these cultures were not members of the elite, however, but peasants who spent their days raising food. Almost all of them married, not because of Confucian principles or Hindu teachings or Islamic injunctions, but because marital couples and their children were the basic unit of agricultural production and procreation was an economic necessity and not simply a religious duty.
Throughout the world, the poor and working class of both sexes led similar lives of hard work, often side by side, in which the family unit was essential to the economic survival of parents and children. If married life for wealthy and prosperous women was more comfortable materially, it was nonetheless extremely confining, allowing women few decisions except in regard to child‐rearing. Even then the law did not allow a mother to make decisions counter to her husband’s wishes. For society as a whole, the intact family unit imparted the orderly transmission of property, titles, social and political stability, and traditions from generation to generation. Through a system of patriarchy from above – the state, Church, and military – matched by patriarchy from below – fathers, brothers, and sons – a hierarchical order endured. The acceptance of this system bound the poor, both male and female, in service to the elite, and though they usually were loath to admit it, never benefited men at the bottom of the social ladder. Instead this arrangement provided powerless men with a false status, a hierarchy from below, that worked against their self‐interest.
The religious traditions of the postclassical period developed norms regarding familial relationships that were clearly gendered. In India, for example, Hindu ideas about the importance of family life and having many children meant that all men and women were expected to marry, and that women in particular married very young; widows and women who had not had sons were excluded from wedding festivities. Parents, other relatives, or professional matchmakers chose one’s spouse, and anything that interfered with procreation, including exclusively same‐sex attachments, was frowned upon (Ghosh, 2008). The domestic fire was symbolically important; husband and wife made regular offerings in front of it. Children, particularly boys, were shown great affection and developed close attachments to their parents, especially their mothers. These mothers often continued to live in the house of their eldest son upon widowhood, creating stresses between mothers‐ and daughters‐in‐law; cruel and angry mothers‐in‐law were, and still are, standard figures in the legends and stories of classical India.
In European family life, the influence of the Christian Church was apparent in rules and customs. Officially the Church declared that consent of the spouses was the basis of marriage and indeed, until the sixteenth century, consent of the spouses was almost all that was required to have a valid marriage. This was an area of contention between the powerful Church and the state, since parents wanted to arrange “suitable” marriages for their offspring and objected to the interference of a priest or bishop who ruled in favor of the marriage partners. Because of its sacramental nature, marriage was increasingly held to be indissoluble, and sexual relations outside of marriage were viewed as illicit. Thus Christian Europe banned polygamy and divorce, and attempted to prohibit any form of sexual relationship apart from marriage, such as concubinage or premarital sex.
Throughout most of Eurasia in the classical and postclassical periods, a husband’s death brought great changes in a woman’s situation. She became a widow, a word for which there is no male equivalent in many ancient languages and one of the few words in English and other modern languages in which the male, widower, is derived from the female instead of the other way around. In some places widows were secluded or under the control of their sons, but in other places they became more active legally, buying and selling land, making loans, and making donations to religious establishments. A widow’s actions were acceptable because she was often the guardian for her children and in control of the family finances, but she was also somewhat suspect because she was not under direct male control.
In Africa, the Americas, and the Pacific, it is extremely difficult to make generalizations about the structure and functions of families, as the geographical areas are vast, civilizations longstanding, and population groups diverse. The “family” could be
