shirt, and rubs her eyes. ‘I’m just sick to death of fighting and war.’
‘Ballard says we’re winning,’ Colm says.
‘Don’t you start! If we are winning, it doesn’t feel like it. All us healers see are windjammers bringing us cargo bays piled high with wounded fighters to patch up. There’s no end to it.’
She’s not wrong; we’ve all seen them. It’s six bigmoons now since the Facility raid and I guess it’s like Murdo says – you go poking a stick into a wrathmite hole, don’t be surprised when the bugs swarm out and bite you. The word reaching us out here in the Deeps is that Gemini’s taking some serious heat. The Saviour’s Slayer army has gone on the offensive, trying to wipe us out. The Blight is a smoking ruin and Bastion has been evacuated.
Rona sighs. ‘So many die. Maybe they’re the lucky ones.’
‘You call dying lucky?’ I say.
She looks through me. ‘I had one nublood kid in here a week ago. Gut-shot. Screaming and bleeding all over the place. We fixed him up. He healed so quickly he was sent out again.’
‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ I say, confused.
‘Is it? He was back yesterday. Blaster-burnt this time. What must it do to these kids’ heads, being so badly wounded, patched up and sent back out to fight, or die? They’re all so . . . young.’
Younger than me. Yeah, I know.
‘You can’t fight wars without taking losses.’
If Sky were here she’d be nodding, but Rona snorts as she swabs stuff on to my stitches.
‘Oh, listen to you. Those losses have names, and mothers too. But I’m wasting my breath. You won’t listen. The young think that dying only happens to other people.’
I duck away from her swabbing. Whatever she’s putting on me stings like crazy. ‘You’re saying we shouldn’t fight?’
She dredges up a sad smile. ‘I’m not. Kyle, I’m a healer, not a fighter. Even when I was your age I couldn’t kill, whatever the cause. That’s why I served the way I did, looking after you.’
Before I can stop her, she messes up my hair.
That does it. I have to tell her.
‘They hate me. Colm too. We train the same as they do, but while they go off to fight we sit on our hands, safe here. You should see the looks they give us – like we’re cowards!’
I glance at my brother. He seems more interested in the floor.
‘That’s nonsense. You serve in other ways, that’s all.’
I taste bile in the back of my throat.
‘Yeah? Tell them that. Making stupid speeches for Ballard. Him banging on about what a hero I am. Why can’t we be fighters like the rest of them? Fighting Slayers would be easier.’
‘Now you’re being stupid.’
‘At least we’d know who our enemies are.’
Rona clicks her tongue. ‘Your work is important. So is Colm’s. People here are scared and anxious. We’ve taken a hammering and Ballard needs you to remind people that we can win.’
She goes to help me into my shirt.
‘I can manage.’ I jump down from the examination table.
‘Suit yourself.’ Rona starts tidying away the bits and pieces of her healing trade. ‘Do you want something for the pain?’
‘No. I don’t want anything. I’m done here.’
I struggle into my shirt, even the buttons wanting to fight me.
‘How’s Sky?’ Rona says, watching.
‘How should I know?’
My foster-mother’s grey eyes meet mine. ‘She was here not long ago, fired up about something. I told her where to find you.’
I hesitate, wondering if Sky’s said anything to her. I bet she has. She’s here loads – they get along big time. Rona never says it, but I know she wishes Sky and me would get back together again.
‘Sky’s got a lead on her sister,’ I tell her reluctantly.
‘That’s great news!’ Rona’s face brightens. Only now she must notice my scowl. ‘Don’t you think?’
How can someone who’s seen forty summers be so dumb?
‘She wants me to help her rescue Tarn and bring her back,’ I say.
‘Ah. You did say you would.’
‘Yeah, but I can’t. Ballard would never allow it.’
‘You’ve asked him?’
I scowl at her. ‘There’s no point.’
‘Why not?’ Rona says. ‘If you find Tarn, there’s a good chance you’ll find the other missing nublood children too.’
‘Hasn’t Ballard got enough on his plate?’ Colm says, as he sets off towards the exit tunnel. ‘Like making sure Gemini survives.’
Rona sighs. ‘I was just thinking of Sky, that’s all.’
‘All Sky thinks about is Tarn,’ I say, unable to hold it in.
‘You’re wrong there,’ Rona says, shaking her head, lips pursed. ‘Think what Sky’s been through. She doesn’t shout about it, but she still cares for you. Take my word for it.’
‘If you say so.’ I go to follow my retreating brother.
‘And I thought you cared for her,’ she says.
I look back. ‘I do. Or I try to. These days, it’s . . . tough.’
‘Try harder then. You two should squabble less and talk more. Sky was there for you when you needed her, remember? And she needs you, more than you know.’
‘Are you coming or what?’ Colm calls.
Rona smiles, but it’s a troubled smile. Even I can see that.
‘And please, no more fighting,’ she says. ‘I’ve enough to do without stitching you up. Another windjammer’s on its way.’
She goes back to cleaning and tidying.
Colm is waiting for me where one of the shafts leads up towards the surface, leaning against the wooden ladder.
‘What was that about Sky?’
‘Nothing. Let’s go find Squint, then feed the dragon.’
