a few simple ways, just by watching the calendar and being observant about your bodily functions.
If you have no objection to feeling around inside your vagina, you’ll also notice that your cervix becomes softer, slightly open, and easier to locate with your fingers when you’re about to ovulate. At other times of the month, the cervix is found farther back in the uterus, feels firmer to the touch, and is tightly closed.
About 20 percent of women have pain called mittelschmertz (German for “middle pain”) when they ovulate. The pain seems to be caused by blood and fluid released from the ruptured follicle irritating the tissues around the ovary. Sometimes a small amount of vaginal bleeding occurs with ovulation, too.
Some women have headaches around the time of ovulation, and others complain of bloating or breast pain. You’re probably already aware of your personal ovulation indicators, but you may have just never paid much attention to them; just don’t be disappointed if you don’t have these symptoms — that doesn’t mean you are not ovulating!
Paying attention to when you ovulate is okay but unnecessary. If a woman has regular cycles every 28–32 days, she will ovulate around midcycle. If the goal is to get pregnant through intercourse, then having intercourse every other day around mid-cycle will maximize the chance of getting pregnant. You can have intercourse more frequently if you want. You do not need to worry that you are having too much intercourse. Men do not improve their chances for conception by storing sperm. They aren’t stored in the man’s body — in fact they die and are removed.
Timing and fertility
Timing is everything when it comes to getting pregnant. Many women miss the mark month after month because of mistaken ideas about the best time to get pregnant.
Many women have been conditioned to believe that ovulation occurs on day 14; they have sex on days 12, 13, or 14 in hopes of hitting the right time. But the most consistent thing about your menstrual cycle should be that ovulation occurs 14 days before your period begins. So, if your cycles are 28 days, you ovulate on day 14. But if your cycles are short, say 25 days, you’re actually ovulating on day 11, and having sex starting on day 12 will be too late to achieve a pregnancy.
On the other hand, if your cycles are long, say 34 days, you don’t ovulate until day 20. Having sex on day 14 will be way too early, since sperm don’t live for a week.
So, timing sex correctly when you want to get pregnant is dependent on a solid knowledge of when you’re ovulating. We discuss the ways ovulation can be most accurately predicted in Chapter 6.
Conceiving a Baby: How Sex Should Work
The time is right, the moon is bright, and it’s time to get pregnant. Here’s what needs to happen:
1 It’s near ovulation; an egg is about to release from its follicle.
2 You and your partner become aroused. Your vagina produces secretions that make it easier for the now erect penis to enter the vagina.
3 During the man’s orgasm, several million sperm are forcefully ejaculated into the vagina. As they pass through the cervix into the uterus, the cervical mucus “filters” the sperm so that they’re ready to penetrate an egg.
4 Your egg releases from the follicle and enters one of your fallopian tubes.
5 The sperm swim through the uterus up to the fallopian tubes.
6 The next day your egg meets up with several hundred sperm in the fallopian tube, and the sperm all attach themselves to the egg.
7 One sperm breaks through the outer layer of the egg causing a chemical reaction that makes the egg immediately impenetrable to the rest of the sperm.
8 The genetic material of the egg and sperm combine, and the newly created embryo is moved down the fallopian tube to the uterus. Cells which line the inside of the tube have hair-like projections and create a wave, much like moving a beach ball in the crowd at a football game. The embryo remains in the tube for a couple of days where is develops and then is moved into the uterus. So the tube is both a transporter and an incubator for the developing embryo.
9 The embryo implants in the uterine wall and grows, and you miss your period.
10 You’re pregnant! Congratulations.
Figuring Out How Often to Have Sex
When you’re trying to get pregnant, it is important to have intercourse every other day. It is a myth that you can have too much sex. Increased ejaculation may make the sperm count lower, but it does not decrease pregnancy rates. In fact, some men with low counts actually increase the amount of sperm they ejaculate with more frequent ejaculations.
When you’re close to ovulating, have sex at least every other day; every day is okay. Most doctors recommend the two days before and the day you ovulate as the best time for conception. Other than that, timing should remain routine so that there are no prolonged periods of abstinence. Infertility can severely decrease the joy of sex and the intimacy that usually accompanies intercourse. Don’t drive yourself crazy with things that don’t matter.
Chapter 3
Blame It on My Genes! The Role of Genetics and Family History
IN THIS CHAPTER
