as he softly climbs the stairs and makes his way to the bathroom, Adam allows himself to smile.
When he comes down for breakfast he's feeling much calmer. Rose is chopping fruit and vegetables to make a smoothie, she turns and smiles at him. ‘How do you feel today?’ she asks. ‘You know what, I feel a lot better than I did yesterday,’ Adam replies, smiling. ‘Could you make me one of those smoothies love?’ Rose stares at him for a moment, ‘Of course,’ she says with a smile. ‘What happened to you overnight Dad?’ Georgia chips in. ‘Don't tell me you've suddenly decided that the planet is worth saving after all?’ Adam laughs, ‘Actually Georgia, I might be about to make some big changes that will make you very happy!’ ‘Are you serious? What do you mean?’ Georgia looks genuinely excited. ‘All in good time. I have a few details I need to hammer out first,’ Adam replies.
Georgia keeps bombarding him with questions. ‘You can't be that cryptic! What changes are you making? Are you leaving your job? Seriously Dad, tell me, please…’ ‘All I'll say is that I'm exploring my options in the renewable energy space,’ he replies. Georgia's eyes light up, ‘Really? That's amazing!’ she says.
‘I have a few calls to make, but I'd love to get your thoughts on it when things are a bit more settled, okay?’ he says. ‘Yeah, definitely Dad,’ Georgia replies. Adam stands and retrieves his smoothie from Rose, who has been listening to the conversation with a smile on her lips.
Then he pauses, glancing briefly at the clock. It's still early. ‘Actually, how do you feel about a walk by the lake?’ ‘Now?’ Georgia asks. ‘Yeah, I have some time before I need to be in the office and I'd like to run some of my ideas past you.’ ‘Okay!’ Georgia almost bounces out of her chair, popping her breakfast dishes by the sink and racing out of the kitchen to get her coat.
Rose is still watching him. ‘Well, you've had quite a turnaround from yesterday!’ she says, ‘And I'm so happy. Enjoy your walk, just remember Georgia needs to leave for school by 8.30.’ Adam grins, ‘I know, I'll make sure she's on time, don't worry.’
The path by the lake is peaceful at this time of the morning. Adam is struck by how everything seems to sparkle in the early morning light. While they've been walking, Adam has been telling Georgia about the research he's been doing. They pause, and Georgia says, ‘Wind energy is probably the most obvious option. I mean, just look at the offshore wind farms we've got here, not to mention the huge ones up in Scotland.’ ‘That's a good point,’ Adam replies, his mind spinning like a turbine as he starts to consider all the possibilities.
He's forgotten where he is when he feels Georgia's hand on his. ‘Dad,’ she says, looking at him in a way that she hasn't for quite a long time. ‘I'm really proud of you for making this decision.’ She leans in and hugs him and in that moment, Adam knows he's making exactly the right choice.
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The first of these rocks focuses on personality. You might wonder why you should encourage your team members to get to know one another personally; the answer is because it builds trust. When people start connecting with each other as humans, something magical happens.
Instead of firing off a quick email or popping a message on Slack, they pick up the phone or send a personal message. When teams start trusting each other, their performance improves.
If you're starting a business from scratch, like Adam is, chances are that you may well already know at least the first members of your team personally. Remember that they may not all know each other though, so make time to get to know one another in the early days.
How to Start Building Trust in Your Team
There are two exercises you can complete with your team to start building those personal connections.
The first is to get everyone in your team to create a lifeline, a sort of timeline of their lives, that includes their highlights and lowlights. These moments don't have to be professional, they can be personal in nature, too. You can ask people to create just one lifeline, or you can ask them to create two, one for professional moments and one for personal ones.
You'll be amazed at how much you can learn about one another in five to ten minutes alone by completing this exercise. I've run this exercise with teams who have been working together for five or even ten years in some cases, and they've learned more about each other during this lifeline exercise than they have in all those previous years of interacting almost daily.
When people explain their lifelines to the rest of the team, you'll learn what makes their heart sing. This sows the seeds for those all‐important interpersonal relationships to grow and blossom.
I also tell everyone to bring one photo that they identify with and to share this with the rest of their team. You know the old saying, ‘A picture is worth 1,000 words’? It's true.
More and more companies are creating virtual teams who are based all over the world. It allows them to access the best talent out there. But when you're not able to meet face to face, you need to find other ways of building those vital personal relationships and this exercise is a brilliant way to do that.
If you work with a very big team, you can still complete the lifeline exercise. To make sure it doesn't last too long, and that everyone is able to share something about themselves, I have a fast‐paced format that you can use instead. Ask everyone to answer the following four questions:
1 Do you have siblings? If so, how many and are they older or younger than you?
2 What hobby were you most passionate about as a child?
3 What are you most proud of?
4 What else should other people know about you?
The aim with these four questions is to provide a small amount of information that people can relate to. The answers people give will spark further conversations, and that's the whole point of this exercise. You can also start to build up a picture of someone based on their answers to these questions.
For example, if they're the oldest sibling in a family they may have taken on a leadership role early in their lives. As the youngest in a family, they may be competitive because they've been trying to keep up with their older siblings. Middle children are often considered to be adaptable, while only children might not be used to sharing.
The first two questions should be easy for anyone to answer and are like a warm‐up. The third question is likely to be the one that people need to give the most thought to. And with the fourth question, I'd encourage people to share something exotic, something really unique. These last two questions deliberately encourage people to be vulnerable, to show that less polished side of themselves.
I'll share my answers to these questions so that you can get to know me a little:
1 I have an older brother who lives in Australia (I live in Hamburg, Germany), and he's six years older than me.
2 I used to draw pictures of horses. Usually these were galloping horses being ridden by Native Americans.
3 I'm most proud of my five daughters; they are the apples of my eye.
4 The
