because of his egoism and arrogance and there was no good in him at all. None. That was why he spent his time creating shadowy, dangerous characters in his stories who lived on the periphery of life. He easily identified with the pain and self-loathing in every one of them.
‘That’s where you’re wrong. Very wrong. I’m a selfish man, Liadan. I take what I want, and to hell with the consequences. As much as you might hate to hear it, Petra Collins and I were kindred spirits—that’s why I don’t entirely blame her for using me to further her own ends. If you believe that I kissed you because I’m nurturing some deepening affection based on the fact that you’re a sweet and lovely girl, then I really have to enlighten you. I want to sleep with you. That’s all. And other than getting you naked and sweaty in my bed, I need your services as a housekeeper. Sorry if that sounds brutal, but facts are facts.’
If he had lashed out at her physically, Liadan couldn’t have been more shocked or more taken aback. Her mouth opened in protest to express her abhorrence of his cruel, base words, but nothing would come out. His ferocious burning glance was effectively slicing her heart in two, and in the next second he turned abruptly away as though he couldn’t tolerate her company a second longer. Uttering a curse beneath his breath, he strode from the room as if suddenly there weren’t enough air to breathe and he desperately needed to find some.
CHAPTER EIGHT
TWO days later, as she made her way up to the topmost floor of the house to open windows and dust pictures, Liadan marvelled at the fact that she was still working for Adrian Jacobs. She was either the biggest fool who ever lived or simply some kind of martyr, because after the agony of hearing words designed to hurt her and ‘enlighten’ her as to what he insisted was his true character, she had wrestled with two conflicting desires. A very understandable need for self-preservation where her heart was concerned, possibly leading her to hand in her notice, and a surprisingly compelling desire to stay and tough it out—because, quite frankly, how much worse could it get? For two whole days now the atmosphere between them both had been as jagged as broken glass. When she looked at him, he looked away. When she had to ask him anything he answered her in as few words as possible. And when he’d finished speaking, his hostile brown eyes would be coldly dismissive and hurt Liadan all over again, like a rusty blade digging into a wound not yet healed.
Apart from him telling her this morning that he’d arranged for her car to be brought back from the garage ‘some time today’ and to insist upon taking her to the hospital himself this afternoon to have her stitches removed, their conversation had been minimal. Now the thought of having to spend time with him driving to and from the hospital was like anticipating root-canal work at the dentist.
Telling herself over and over again that he hadn’t meant what he’d said, that he really was a good man underneath that coldly forbidding façade, Liadan forced herself to believe that she’d made the right decision in staying. And she didn’t think that he used people as Petra Collins did. Adrian Jacobs was fighting demons from his past and all he was doing by assuming an air of hostility was adding another protective layer to prevent Liadan from getting close. But until he found a way to reconcile himself with the past, and see that there was light round the edges of his darkness, then he would continue to live out the rest of his life in torment.
Raising the colourful feather duster to dust down a venerable old gilt-framed print of horses and hounds off on a hunt, Liadan determinedly applied herself to the task in hand, grimacing at the very idea that things might get much worse before they got better.
‘Liadan Willow? Dr Thomas will see you now.’
As she stood up to follow the slim, bright-eyed nurse into the designated room, the familiar hospital smells of disinfectant and fear making her stomach lurch, Adrian put his hand on Liadan’s arm to waylay her. ‘Want me to come in with you?’
Meeting his intense, concerned gaze with a little shock of surprise, she drew back her arm and shook her head. ‘I’ll be fine, thanks. I don’t need you to hold my hand.’
Escaping before he could make some cryptic remark in response, Liadan was appalled at the ache that arose in her throat. She wasn’t a coward and could handle having a few stitches removed without needing a babysitter, but, all things being equal, she wouldn’t have been averse to having Adrian hold her hand. But that was before his crude remark about wanting her in his bed…Her thoughts broke off at his graphic description of how. Right now she wouldn’t let him hold her hand if he were the last man on earth!
‘Did the doctor say you’d have a scar?’
As he negotiated the purring Mercedes out of a bend in the country road, Adrian glanced sidelong at Liadan. She was staring straight ahead, her exquisite profile determinedly concentrating on the spot on the horizon where the blue-grey of the sky met the darker slate of the road. If she was being deliberately aloof, he knew he only had himself to blame. It had been a miracle that she hadn’t walked out that night there and then, and, against his better judgement, Adrian had been unable to deny his relief that she hadn’t. What would she think, he asked himself, if she knew it was getting to be almost torture for him to be around her? That he had deliberately distanced himself from her both mentally and physically because right now he didn’t trust himself to cope with this passionate attraction that he had developed for her? That if she could see into the vivid pictures of his mind she would discover for herself his amazing proclivity for sexual fantasy as far as she was concerned? Because in all of his fantasies, Liadan was the star…
‘I didn’t ask. My fringe would hide it anyway.’
‘Don’t you care?’
‘Unlike some people, I don’t believe you have to be perfect to be attractive. A little scar’s not going to damage me psychologically. I’m just glad I didn’t do any worse damage.’ To Adrian’s surprise, Liadan turned her head to regard him with a steady blue gaze. ‘Besides…flawed people are always more interesting, don’t you think?’
What was she getting at exactly? Was she having a snipe at him, believing him to be one of those people who desired physical perfection in a mate? She couldn’t be more wrong if she did, Adrian thought vehemently. What he found attractive was somebody real. Outwardly perfect good looks with nothing of substance inside left him cold.
‘All right, Liadan. What’s bothering you? I sense some underlying agenda here. Perhaps we should stop and talk?’
Before Liadan realised his intention, Adrian had pulled into a lay-by and switched off the engine. Now her heart started to clang like the toll of a great bell inside her chest as the small, confined space in the car seemed to grow rapidly smaller.
‘I thought you didn’t talk with the hired help?’ she said sarcastically, blue eyes challenging him to refute her statement. For a few anxious moments she watched his hands curl around the leather-covered steering wheel as if garnering control, and she couldn’t help noting the strong, well-defined knuckles and the sprinkling of dark hairs that covered them with a little jolt in her chest. Remembering how gentle his fingers had been as they’d caressed her jaw when he’d kissed her, heat rippled, unguarded, right through her body in a heady rush.
‘You want me to apologise for what I said the other night?’
‘If you have to ask me if I want you to, then the answer is no. I don’t want you to apologise. You don’t even have to put yourself out to be overly pleasant—judging by your mood the last two days, it’s obviously not something that you consider a priority. But don’t worry, because I can handle it. I don’t need your approval or admiration to do a good job. My only stake in this relationship is the fact that I work for you and I would like to keep
