right,’ he acknowledged, his dark gaze wary. ‘We should discuss this.’
Letting out a soft, slow breath, Liadan nodded. At least he hadn’t denied the necessity for talking about their relationship—even though he was clearly reluctant. She was doing the right thing, she told herself. She owed it to herself to speak up and not be pushed around as she had been in her disastrous relationship with Michael. The situation between herself and Adrian urgently needed clarifying. It was one thing being in love with the man and unable to resist his incredibly compelling powers of seduction, but it was quite another him expecting her to continue working in his employ and still be his lover. Like it or not, this potentially disastrous situation simply could not continue. Natural common sense made her face the truth that was staring her in the face.
‘So…what do you think?’ she asked nervously.
Frowning, Adrian folded his arms across the midnight blue sweater that he wore with black jeans and sighed. ‘What do I think?’
If someone had predicted that when Kate left he would find himself embroiled in a very different, less-than-professional relationship with the next woman he employed, he would have been openly scornful. He had a healthy libido, he’d have said, but he wouldn’t be so foolish as to indulge it with someone who worked for him. He needed a housekeeper, that was all. And that was all, until Liadan showed up.
Not that she wasn’t good at her job—that was half the trouble. Right now he couldn’t imagine anyone else taking care of himself or his house so well. At the same time, he’d succumbed to his lust and craving for her body and made her his lover. By doing so, he’d placed both himself and her in an untenable predicament. Yet how could he not have capitulated to his desire for her? Liadan only had to walk into the same room as Adrian to make him so turned on it was practically physical torment, and right now he refused to contemplate doing without her for one second, let alone for good…
He seemed to be stalling for some reason, and Liadan’s stomach turned an anxious cartwheel.
‘I can’t stay here working for you and continue having an—an intimate relationship. You must see that.’ Her curling red-gold lashes downcast, she studied her hands intently, torn between running out of the house as fast as her legs could carry her, or throwing herself into his arms and confessing that she loved him. A course of action that would be clearly disastrous in the face of his indecision about their relationship.
‘Yes, you can.’
‘How?’
Glancing up, her heartbeat rapidly increased at the determination on Adrian’s impossibly attractive face. The pulse in one perfectly sculpted cheek throbbed momentarily before he spoke.
‘You can marry me,’ he said without emotion.
‘Marry you?’ Liadan was glad the piano stool was situated just behind her. Her trembling limbs dictated she sat on it whether she wanted to or not. ‘But you don’t love me.’ You love a ghost…she finished in her mind.
He looked astonished, as though her assertion was entirely irrelevant. His next comment drove it home.
‘We have other equally powerful inducements, don’t we?’ A knowing smile kicked up the corners of his usually stern mouth. ‘You can’t deny that we’re good together and your company is more pleasing to me than most women I know. You don’t talk my ears off and you have a quiet way about you that I find soothing.’ Liar. She was in his blood and what he felt for her right now was anything but soothing…more like a raging fever. Damn it all to hell! Why can’t you just be honest with the woman? he demanded silently of himself. Tell her how you feel!
But how could he be honest when fear of failure was demanding he stay silent on that score? One way or another, eventually he was bound to make a mess of things. Hadn’t he done so with both Nicole and Petra? Only one thing was certain. If he didn’t act soon to the contrary he would possibly wreck the only chance at happiness that had come his way in a long, long time and it would be entirely his own stupid fault.
A small, disappointed shiver ran down Liadan’s spine at Adrian’s statement and she twisted her hands together in the lap of her jade-coloured skirt as if she didn’t quite know what to do with them. ‘My company is pleasing?’ Was that all he could find to say about her? What was it about her that men couldn’t commit to her as they could to other women? she reflected despondently. First Michael’s judgemental rejection both of her body and her person and now this—this lukewarm litany of some of her supposedly more attractive attributes that was supposed to add up to a proposal of marriage. ‘You must be desperate for a housekeeper if you’re prepared to marry me in order to keep me in your employment,’ she said in a detached voice, barely able to bring herself to look at him.
His hard jaw clenched, Adrian couldn’t disguise his annoyance. ‘What are you talking about? If I married you I would look to employ someone else as my housekeeper, naturally. You would be my companion…my wife.’ If a possessive tone had crept in at his use of that last word, Adrian deliberately ignored it. Instead, he latched onto the realisation that it was probably the best idea he’d had in ages, under the circumstances. Liadan was a kind, beautiful girl whose loving nature had stolen a march on him when he hadn’t been looking. Plus the sexual chemistry between them was combustible. He’d got used to her being around and the thought of her not being around was—unthinkable. If they married, he would provide her with financial stability for life and neither of them would have to be alone any more. Perfect. Only, when Adrian gazed into Liadan’s troubled blue eyes, it didn’t seem at all as if she agreed with him.
‘I appreciate the thought but…no, thanks.’ Getting to her feet, she pushed away a wayward curl and picked up the discarded yellow duster from the top of the piano. ‘I have to be getting on. I have plenty of work to do.’ If her voice was flat, she couldn’t help it. Inside Liadan was crushed. His cold proposal of marriage had done nothing for her self-esteem. In fact, right now she hated herself because she couldn’t understand why the man she loved couldn’t seem to return her affection on any level except a sexual one.
‘Liadan?’ A frown between his perfect black brows, Adrian caught her arm as she passed him, to waylay her. ‘I’ve obviously offended you. Tell me! I want to know.’
‘Offended me? Whatever gave you that idea? I mean, why on earth should I be offended by such a cold, unfeeling suggestion as to marry you and be your little “companion”? Your editor is right, Adrian. You really do need to get out more. You’re so caught up in your dark, depressing stories that you’ve forgotten how to relate to people emotionally. I may not have much money, and I may not have another job to go to if I should leave here, but at least I have a heart full of love rather than no heart at all. At least I’m not scared to express my feelings! Now, if you don’t mind…’ she wrenched her arm free and swept towards the door ‘…I have work to do.’
‘Liadan!’
‘What?’ Turning at the door, she willed her feet to stay still even though she’d like nothing better right now than to escape to her room—lock herself in and cry her heart out. He might be an expert on running away from life’s problems, but she wasn’t. She would face whatever she had to face and afterwards she wouldn’t have any cause to feel ashamed.
‘I don’t want you to go, so please don’t talk of leaving. If my offer of marriage was less appealing than you’d like, then please forgive me. I may be a writer but I don’t always necessarily choose the right words to express my feelings.’
‘So you do have feelings, then?’ Liadan was unable to bite back
