Josh close was only a partial distraction. He knew it was his fault that Josh was suffering right now. His fault that he’d been too distracted by Josh’s mother, who’d called out of the blue after six years of absence, asking for money, to notice the car barreling through the intersection, straight toward them.
Even now, he could hear the screeching tires, the sickening thunk of metal crushing against metal. The agonizing sound of Josh’s high-pitched scream.
He wanted to put his hands up to cover his ears, but that would be useless as he knew the noise would reverberate over and over in his mind, where nobody else could hear it but him. With a herculean effort he dragged himself out of the dark past to the just-barely-lighter present.
He couldn’t ever make up for the injuries Josh had suffered that fateful night. All he could do was to try and start over. He’d taken a leave of absence from work so that he could rebuild his relationship with his son, at the same time doing whatever was necessary to ensure his son would walk again.
“Okay, Josh, we’re going to sit back on the exam table here, so that I can massage your legs a bit before we use the ultrasound machine,” Molly was saying now, lifting Josh up, despite her slim build, and setting him back on the table, as if Josh hadn’t suffered a meltdown five minutes ago. “Do you know what an ultrasound machine is?”
Slowly Josh shook his head. “Will it hurt?” he asked.
Dan’s heart squeezed in his chest. His son had suffered several surgeries to his injured legs, and every single one of them had hurt him.
He wanted to promise Josh that nothing would ever hurt him again. but obviously that wasn’t exactly realistic.
“Not one bit,” Molly assured him. “I’ll show you how it feels on your hand. And we can try it on your dad first, so that you know I’m telling you the truth.”
Dan roused himself to respond to Molly’s unspoken demand. “I don’t mind trying the ultrasound,” he managed, even though he couldn’t believe that Josh’s first therapy session was almost over. In his mind Molly hadn’t done nearly enough work with his son, and now the session was winding down. He silently vowed to get a few minutes alone with her to find out what sort of exercises he should be doing with Josh at home.
He stood, and helped Molly maneuver Josh into position so that she could massage his legs. Dan had to give her credit, Molly never once stared in horror at Josh’s numerous surgical scars.
“Try to relax, Josh,” she murmured, as she smoothed some sort of paste substance on her fingertips, before gently beginning to massage Josh’s right leg. The leg that had taken the brunt of the crash. “Now, you let me know if I’m hurting you, okay?”
Josh nodded, and he grimaced a bit when she gently massaged the knot in his calf muscle.
“You have a very tense muscle right here,” she said, using her thumb to smooth over the area. “I know it’s a little sore, but you’ll feel much better afterward if I work on it now.”
“I know,” Josh said bravely, and once again Dan’s heart squeezed in his chest for what his young son was going through. If he could have taken the pain for Josh, he would have. But of course he’d walked away from the crash virtually unscathed.
And felt guilty about that part, too.
He tuned out a bit as Molly and Josh chatted about his school, as she asked him what his favorite subjects and teachers were. Since the crash, he’d hired a tutor to work with Josh so that he could keep up with his classes while he attended therapy every day.
But his ears pricked up when he heard his son talking about Mr. Iverson, the tutor he’d hired. “I don’t like him. He’s mean.”
“What did you say?” he demanded, before Molly could respond. “What did Mr. Iverson do that was mean?”
Josh’s lower lip trembled. “He yells at me. He makes me do adding and subtracting over and over again, even though I don’t understand it. But he doesn’t explain anything, just keeps making me fill out the worksheets and yelling at me when they’re not right.”
Dan frowned darkly. How was it that he hadn’t known about the problems Josh was having with his teacher before now? “Well, I’ll get rid of Mr. Iverson. You should have told me sooner, Josh.”
Instantly Josh’s eyes brightened. “Really? No more math?”
“Now, Josh,” Molly admonished gently, inserting herself into the conversation, “do you really think you can pass first grade to go on to second grade without learning to add and subtract?”
Josh gave a very adultlike sigh. “No, I suppose not.”
“Sometimes school is hard, just like therapy,” Molly said, moving over to massage Josh’s other leg. “But there are things we can do to make them both fun.”
Was he imagining it, or was that last comment directed squarely at him? He tried not to scowl but since when was school supposed to be fun? Kids had to learn, but tests, writing essays, memorizing history and practicing your sums wasn’t exactly fun.
Was it?
“The muscles in your left leg aren’t nearly as tied up in knots as those in your right leg,” Molly said, turning the conversation back to the issue of therapy. “Do you feel the difference?”
Josh nodded vigorously. “Yep. Doesn’t ache very much at all.”
“I’m glad. Now we’re going to use the ultrasound machine. Here’s the wand, feel how smooth it is?” She picked up what looked like a stout hammer, except that the base of it was much wider and very smooth to the touch.
Josh tentatively put his hand over the end of the wand. “Yeah, it’s very smooth.”
“I’m going to move it in small circles over your skin, like this.” Molly demonstrated again, on the palm of his hand. “Now, when I turn the machine on, it’s going to make some noise and you’ll feel a very faint vibration but it won’t hurt. Do you want me to show you on your dad first?”
Josh nodded again, and watched with wide eyes as Dan extended his arm so that Molly could use the ultrasound machine on him.
She squirted cool gel on his arm, and then flipped the switch on the machine and moved the ball of the wand over his skin in a circular motion. He frowned. “I can barely feel the vibration. Are you sure it’s turned on?”
“I’m sure. I told you this wouldn’t hurt a bit.” She glanced over at Josh with a bright smile. “Are you ready to try it?”
“I’m ready.” Josh braced himself, and Dan couldn’t help moving closer to his son, putting his arms around Josh’s thin shoulders. When she squirted the ultrasound gel on his skin, Josh jumped. “It’s cold!”
“I know. And that’s the worst of it, I promise.” Molly pressed the ball of the ultrasound wand against Josh’s leg and moved it in small circles.
Instantly Josh relaxed. “It really doesn’t hurt!” he exclaimed in surprise.
“Josh, I will never lie to you,” Molly said solemnly as she continued with the ultrasound therapy. “Remember when I told you
