with any outsiders. They were still riding the sexual high, the excitement of being so physically attracted to each other, she had no clue how to discuss something so permanent with him. They were facing a relationship she didn’t think either of them was ready for.
“You sure you’re okay?” Ian asked.
Pulling out her most convincing smile, Lily nodded and turned to head toward the wardrobe trailer. “Fine. Just ready to relax after this shoot is over.”
“Well, when you get a chance, come find me. I’ll let you look over those scripts.” He fell into step with her. “I believe the single mom part would be perfect for you, but that’s going to depend on how comfortable you are with playing a showgirl. I also have a part that is set in a mythical world, and that also involves bearing a great deal of skin because from what I can see, the women all wear bikini tops and short skirts.”
Lily refrained from groaning because here she was, just discovering her pregnancy and already having to choose between her career and her personal life.
How would she juggle this all when the baby came? Eventually the world would know she was pregnant, then she couldn’t keep Nash a secret any longer—couldn’t keep her feelings for him a secret. Sooner rather than later, their relationship—whatever it became—would be out front and center.
How would he cope? How would they get through this? As a couple? As two people just sharing a child? With the depth of her feelings only growing stronger, Lily worried she was in for a long road of heartache.
It was after midnight and Lily hadn’t come to him. He’d spent the night in her trailer, in her arms. So why wasn’t she here?
Turning off the lights in the stables, Nash kept to the shadows of the property and headed toward the back of the estate where Lily’s trailer sat. He told himself he just wanted to check on her to make sure she was feeling okay. Nash refused to believe he was developing deeper feelings for her. He couldn’t afford to be sidetracked right now, not until his plan was fully executed.
He climbed the two steps and glanced over his shoulder to double-check he was alone before giving her door a couple taps with his knuckles. When she didn’t answer, he tried the handle, surprised it turned easily beneath his palm. Even with security, keeping the door unlocked wasn’t smart. You never knew what length the crazies would go to in order to snap a picture of a celebrity. Money held more power than people gave it credit for.
“You need to keep this locked,” he told her as he entered. “Anybody could walk right in.”
Lily sat hunched over the small dinette table, papers spread all around her. When she glanced up at him, tear tracks marred her creamy cheeks.
Fear gripped him as he crossed the small space. “Lily, what happened? Is it the baby?”
Raking her hands through her long, dark hair, she shook her head. “No, no. The baby is fine.”
A slight sense of relief swept through him, but still, something was wrong. He’d never seen such fierce emotions from the woman who always appeared so flawless, so in control...except when she surrendered herself to him and she unleashed all of that pent-up passion.
“Then what is it?” he asked, sliding in beside her on the narrow booth.
Her hand waved across the table. “All of this. I’m looking at the future of my career, yet I have no clue what way to go. I’m at a crossroads, Nash, and I’m scared. There’s no good answer.”
Nash wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against his side. He’d grown used to the perfect feel of her petite body nestled next against his. What he wasn’t used to was consoling a woman, delving into feelings beyond the superficial. This was definitely out of his comfort zone and he absolutely hated it. Hated how he’d allowed himself to get in this position of being vulnerable with the threat of being exposed before he was ready.
More than anything else, he hated lying to Lily. She didn’t deserve to be pulled into his web of deceit and lies, but now that she was pregnant, there was no other option. He’d already put his plan in motion and he wasn’t leaving until Damon Barrington gave up the horses and Nash disclosed his real identity to the man. Nash couldn’t wait to see Damon’s face when the truth was revealed.
But now he had Lily and a baby to worry about. He sure as hell didn’t want innocents caught in the mix. Things had been so simple before, when Lily planned to wrap up filming and go on her way. Everything in her life from this moment on would revolve around their child and he had to figure out a way to make this right...he just had no clue how.
Angst rolled through him at the thought of his own mother feeling even an inkling of what Lily was going through. And his mother had been all on her own. No way would he ever let Lily feel as if she didn’t have him to lean on. He wasn’t looking for that traditional family, but he wouldn’t abandon what was his.
For so long it had been just Nash and his mother. She’d always put his needs first, rarely dating, never bringing a man to the house until Nash was in his late teens when she got engaged and eventually married. She’d always made sure her two jobs covered their bills and a few extras.
In short, she worked her ass off, purposely setting her own needs aside until Nash was old enough to understand and care for himself.
He didn’t want to see Lily struggling as a single mother, juggling a career and a child.
Added to that, she was pregnant with his child. It would take death to tear him away from what belonged to him. Did he love her? No. Love wasn’t in the cards for him, wasn’t something he believed in. That didn’t mean he didn’t already love this child they’d created. Now Nash had to make sure once she discovered the truth, she wouldn’t shut him out.
He knew how she loathed liars, how she’d been betrayed by a man in her past. Surely she would see this situation was completely different.
“What are all these papers that have you so upset?” he asked her.
Lily rested a hand on his thigh, tapping a stack with her finger. “Scripts Ian gave me to look over for the next film. He’s so excited because this will be our first film together, but everything here would be impossible for me to do until after the baby is born and that’s if I get my body back. Hollywood is ruthless when it comes to added pounds.”
He kept his opinion about Hollywood and their warped sense of “beautiful” to himself. Not all women needed to be rails to be stunning and added pounds didn’t take away from a woman’s talents. Lily was a petite woman, but she had curves in all the right places.
“Why don’t you tell Ian that none of these will work for you?”
Lily lazily drew an invisible pattern over his jeans with her fingertips. “I need to tell him about the baby. This has to be my sole focus. My career will have to come second for a while. I only hope I’m not committing career suicide.”
Nash smiled and stroked away a strand of hair from her eyes. “I highly doubt this will kill your career. Ian will understand, I’m sure.”
Lily scrubbed her hands over her face. “This is my life. I don’t know anything else. What do I know about being a mom?”
