her mother gently laid a hand upon his arm, David turned. The lines around her eyes were far too many for her years. Worry and sorrow had deeply etched their mark.
“Why don’t you go to the kitchen?” she suggested. “Get something to eat.”
“Oh, thank you, ma’am, but I’m not that hungry.”
“You must keep up your strength.”
She was concerned for his health, as were many of the ladies here today. Several had been volunteer nurses and apparently thought his welfare was in jeopardy. One had asked if he had enough warm clothing for the journey north. Another if he’d been showing any signs of chills or respiratory illness himself.
David assured them all that physically, he was fine.
To please Mrs. Martin, he went to the kitchen and accepted the piece of fried chicken that Miss Sally Hastings laid upon his plate.
“How about a slice of raisin pie?” she asked.
David doubted he could even handle the chicken. “I’m certain it is delicious but...I don’t think so...”
Miss Hastings must have understood, for she smiled sympathetically. David knew she had recently lost a brother herself. “I’ll set aside some food for you to take on the train,” she promised.
He thanked her politely and then moved to the dining area. As he stepped into the once elegant room, he couldn’t help but notice some of the flocked wallpaper was peeling. In another corner, a piece of crown molding was loose. With Elizabeth’s father having passed four years ago and her brother somewhere south of the Potomac, the absence of any male presence to maintain the house was beginning to show.
David wondered why Jeremiah had not seen to such things before falling ill. I suppose he and Elizabeth had far more on their minds than household repairs. Shoving the thought aside, he scanned the faces in the room. His fellow mourners were gathered in tight groups of conversation. Hushed whispers drifted about. Most of the words centered on his brother and Elizabeth.
At the far end of the room several hospital physicians had collected along with a few members of David’s regiment who, like him, had completed their enlistment and were about to return home. Though he appreciated their presence, he had no desire to speak with any of them at the moment. The only person with whom he did truly wish to speak did not wish for him to do so.
Claiming a spot on the window ledge, he tried to force down the chicken. He soon felt nauseous and wondered if it was the chicken or the thought of Elizabeth remaining in perpetual mourning.
“I wanted to thank you.”
Dr. Evan Mackay’s voice broke in to his thoughts. David looked up to see the Scottish-born physician once again standing before him. He quickly stood and reached for the man’s outstretched hand.
“I am humbled that you selected me as one of the pallbearers.”
All the other men David had chosen had each expressed the same sentiment. They considered it an honor to provide final escort for one of their comrades.
“You are soon leaving for the train station?” the army physician asked.
David checked his watch. It was nearly three o’clock. “Yes. Within the hour.”
Dr. Mackay nodded, then glanced quickly about, as if what he were about to say was to be held in strict confidence. “I would advise against Miss Martin accompanying the body to the station.”
“Why is that?” David asked.
“I don’t believe she is up for the task. My wife is with her now.” He leveled his gaze. “You should go to her.”
“Go to her?”
The Scotsman nodded. “See for yourself.”
Though the man was no longer David’s superior, the instinct was still there to follow his commands. Especially since David knew the order was surely given out of concern for Elizabeth, for the doctor’s wife and she were close friends. Still, he balked.
You’re the physician and family friend. If she is having difficulty in some way, what can I do? She doesn’t want to see me. It isn’t my place.
Yet Dr. Mackay stared at him as if it were. David then realized, with Elizabeth’s father dead and her brother away at war, he was the closest she had to any male relative. As much as she may wish for him to leave her alone, it was his duty today to look after her.
Handing the physician the plate of chicken, David walked toward the parlor. The light was dim. The house was shuttered, and many of the windows were draped in black. The fires were lit, but winter’s chill still invaded every space. Appropriately, the place felt like a tomb.
Rounding the corner he found Elizabeth seated before his brother’s casket. Mrs. Mackay was beside her.
“But you know we must,” he heard her say.
Seeing Elizabeth’s head bowed, her shoulders shaking, pierced David’s heart. She had held her composure for so long, but here in the final moments it was crumbling. Quietly he approached. Tears streaked her face, but her eyes were as sharp as steel.
“No, David. Not yet. I won’t let you take him.”
She thought he had come to begin the processional. Now he knew why Dr. Mackay thought it unwise for her to go to the train station.
She cannot bring herself to say goodbye.
He knelt before her. “Elizabeth, I want to...help.”
“Haven’t you done enough already?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he clearly heard the anger. “You caused this!”
Guilt and grief rained down upon him. He felt torn between allowing her privacy and remaining with her. He foolishly chose the latter.
“Elizabeth, I’m sorry... I never should have interfered.”
“If you had left well enough alone, he would have married me. Things would have turned out differently. I know they would have. We would have been...so...”
Happy, he thought.
Anger gave way to anguish. Great sobs shook her entire frame. Mrs. Mackay immediately took Elizabeth in her arms and tried to soothe her. Frozen in his place, David wished there was something he could do to ease her pain.
“I loved him!” Elizabeth cried.
“And he, you,” Mrs. Mackay whispered. “No one on this earth could have loved you more.”
That isn’t true, David thought. That isn’t the whole story. Suddenly he wanted her to know why he had done what he did. He wanted to tell her he’d been in love with her from the moment she first walked in to his ward. His mind told him the confession would bring relief to him, but he knew for her, it would only bring more pain. So, he kept his mouth shut. Just like he had done every other time she was near him.
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