course I’m not in love with her, Caroline,” he said. “You know I love you. But I need her money. Good lord, why else would a man tie himself to a cool fish like Emily Winbolt? I’d sooner go to bed with a block of ice.” It was quite a shock.’ Emily gave a bitter little smile and went on, ‘He was furious when I called the engagement off.’
Rosa put her hands on Emily’s shoulders and shook her. ‘I didn’t know the young man, it was before I knew you, but you were well rid of him. He could never have made you happy. Emily, you are an intelligent, caring person with a delightful sense of humour. The sort of man you could love would have to be someone special. And he would be proud to have you as a wife.’
‘Where will he be found? I’ve met many men since, but never one I wanted for a husband. Most of them found my fortune more important than I was. I’ve never fallen in love again, never felt the least stirring of desire for any one of them. Half the time they didn’t understand what I was talking about. Even if they had cared. And very few men appreciate what you call my “delightful sense of humour”.’
‘Very few men see it. You are always too guarded.’
‘I’ve learned to be wary. To tell the truth, I doubt now that I shall ever marry.’ She looked at Rosa with the beginning of a smile. ‘And do you know? This will probably shock you, but I have to confess it. I didn’t feel like a cool fish yesterday. That stranger’s kisses were far more exciting than any I’ve known before. They stirred me more than Harry Colesworth’s ever did. Isn’t that scandalous?’ She laughed. ‘Don’t look so worried, Rosa dear. I know I couldn’t marry the man—he was little more than a vagabond. Certainly no one a respectable spinster like me could ever consider as a husband! No, I don’t think I shall marry, whatever Mrs Gosworth says.’ She paused, and then said hesitantly, ‘In fact, I have a different plan for the future. You could help me with it, if you would.’
‘Of course I will,’ said Rosa. ‘But what is it?’
‘If Philip agreed, I should like most of all to set up house on my own. Near at hand, of course. You could help me to persuade him.’
Rosa was deeply shocked. She turned on Emily. ‘What a dreadful idea! I won’t do anything of the sort. I wouldn’t be at all happy with such an arrangement and neither would Philip. This is your home, Emily, and the only good reason for you to leave it would be with a man who loves you and wants to marry you.’ She stopped short, and continued more slowly, her voice revealing how hurt she was, ‘What have we done that you should prefer to live alone, however near at hand? I thought you loved us.’
Emily sighed inwardly and wished she had said nothing. It was just as she had foreseen. And Philip’s reaction would be just the same. How could she explain to two of the people she loved best in the world that she often felt lonely in their company, often felt like an outsider, a hanger-on, however kindly they treated her? She loved them, enjoyed their company, and would always want to spend time with them. But she would never be really content until she was mistress of her own establishment, creating a garden again, planning improvements. In that way she would feel independent enough to spend as much time as she wanted with them, without feeling she was intruding on their idyll. They were so happy together. She sighed again. They would never understand. It was an impossible dream.
Meanwhile Emily’s stranger had arrived at Thirle, where he was staying with Lady Deardon, his godmother.
‘Really, William, you are a disgrace! What the servants think of you I cannot imagine.’
‘Good God, ma’am, since when have we had to worry what the servants think? You don’t pay ’em to think!’
Lady Deardon tapped her stick impatiently. ‘Your life in South America has spoilt you, my boy. Mark my words, you’ll soon change your tune when you have an establishment of your own to run here in England. Good servants are to be treasured. Your man arrived some time ago with your baggage. I cannot for the life of me call him your valet. Anyone less like a gentleman’s gentleman would be difficult to imagine. But I suppose he knows what to do. Do go and put some respectable clothes on before Reggie sees you. You know what a stickler he is, and he’ll be back for dinner soon. Then you can tell me your news.’
‘There isn’t much,’ William said briefly, as he went out. ‘I haven’t seen anything I’d call really suitable.’
Emily would not have recognised him when he at last came downstairs again. Not only had he washed and shaved, but everything about him, from his carefully brushed hair to his gleaming evening shoes, his immaculate shirt and perfectly tied cravat, his beautifully fitted coat of blue superfine and snowy white pantaloons, pronounced him to be a gentleman of some distinction.
‘I must say you scrub up well,’ said Lady Deardon. ‘Why you choose to wander about the countryside like a tramp I cannot imagine. Reggie has just arrived. He’s dressing now, so there’s time for us to have a talk. Have you heard anything more about the children?’
‘The latest news is that they will stay in Jamaica with the Warburtons until they can all come to England some time in the autumn.’
‘Who are these Warburtons?’
‘Good friends of mine from my days in the Navy. When John died so unexpectedly, they took the children in.’
‘Poor little things. I take it that Juana’s family still refuse to have anything to do with them?’
‘When Juana ran off with my brother, the Lopez family didn’t simply refuse to acknowledge her marriage to him, they cut her out of their lives completely. The children don’t exist as far as they are concerned. Juana’s family will never relent, even though her children are now orphans.’
‘So they are your responsibility. What are you going to do?’
‘What else can I do but find somewhere to live and make it into a suitable home for us all? The children are safe enough for the moment, but it’s hard to say what effect the events of the past year have had on them. It will be better when we are all together in a house of our own.’
‘Have you found anything?’
‘There’s only one possibility in the district. I came across it today. Charlwood. It’s a handsome estate not too far from here, and the land is in good heart. The house itself looks ruinous, but it could be rescued. It is basically sound and it has plenty of rooms. The gardens and park have real potential, too. They’ve obviously been laid out by a master hand. I liked it.’
‘So it’s for sale? I know Charlwood quite well. It was once a lovely place, but there was some sort of dispute over ownership when the old man died, and it’s been empty for years.’
‘That’s the drawback—the whole place has been neglected too long. It would be months before the house was habitable. A year even.’
‘It’s in a beautiful situation, William. It sounds as if it could be just what you’re looking for.’
‘It certainly came close. But the children will need to settle down as soon as possible after they arrive here.’
‘It’s a wife you need, if you’re to look after those children properly. Have you thought of that? A mother for them is more important than four walls and a roof.’
‘I know, I know. I haven’t the slightest wish to marry, but I suppose I must. To be honest, it’s a devil of a mess.’
‘Bringing
