living and being alive. That was the night our relationship had changed. Before that we’d had hidden places. Secrets. By the time we woke up in the morning there were no secrets left.
After that everything had been a lot like that bike ride. Wild, exhilarating and dangerous.
I’d loved the fact that he knew me. Really knew me.
He slid into the car next to me and the doors locked with a reassuring clunk.
I hadn’t seen him since the day he’d walked out and now here we were, trapped together in this confined space. I was so aware of him I could hardly breathe. The scent, the power, the man. The air was thick with tension. I could have reached out and touched that strong, muscular thigh but instead I kept my hands clasped in my lap and my eyes straight ahead.
I’d assumed if I ever saw him again I wouldn’t feel a thing.
I hated being wrong.
I felt as if I’d been plugged into an electric socket. The air hummed and crackled with unbearable tension. He was insanely attractive, of course, but I knew that wasn’t what was happening here. It was something deeper. Something far more scary and uncontrollable.
I wondered if it was just me but then he turned his head at the same time I did and our eyes met. That brief exchange of glances was so intense I half expected to hear a crash of thunder.
His eyes were a dark velvet-black and the way he was looking at me told me he was feeling everything I was feeling. How could a single glance be so intimate?
My heart was pounding. I wanted to get out of the car so I could work out what all of this meant.
I wanted to get home.
I waited for him to ask me where I was living so he could drop me home, but he didn’t. Instead he pulled away and joined the flow of traffic. He didn’t say a word. No ‘How have you been?’ Or ‘I’m sorry I left.’
Just tense, pulsing silence so heavy and oppressive it was like being covered in a thick blanket. And awareness. That throbbing, skin-tingling awareness that only ever happened when I was with this man.
The restaurant was close to Fit and Physical, where I worked, overlooking the river. Usually I loved London at night. I loved the lights, the reflection of buildings on the water, the trees, the crush of people and the general air of excitement that comes from living in the capital. Tonight I barely looked at the city that was my home.
I heard a throaty growl and for a moment I thought it was the car and then realized it was him.
‘Why were you with him?’ His jaw was clenched, his tone savage and I glanced across at him, stunned by the depth of emotion in his voice because Hunter was the most controlled person I’d ever met. He was the original Mr. Cool. Not tonight. He was simmering with fury and right on the edge of control. I realized that the reason he hadn’t spoken was that he was angry.
‘Who I’m with is none of your business.’
‘Why would you choose to spend your evening with a guy who thinks you should be doing baking and book club?’
He’d heard that?
I’d thought embarrassment was a split dress at a wedding—ask my sister about that one—but I discovered this was far, far worse.
Let’s be honest. When a girl finally meets up with the guy who broke her heart, she wants everything to be perfect. She wants perfect hair, a perfect body, a perfect life. Most of all she wants to be in the perfect relationship so that he can see what he gave up. She doesn’t just want him to feel a sting of regret; she wants him contorted with it. She wants to smile and admit that breaking up with him was the best thing that ever happened because it put her on this path to lifestyle nirvana. The one thing she absolutely doesn’t want, especially in my case, is for him to have to rescue her.
I wanted to crawl onto the floor of his car and curl up there unnoticed.
I wanted to rewind time and spend the evening in a deep bubble bath with the latest issue of Cosmo. Most of all I didn’t want to feel this way. The truth was I dated men like Brian because I didn’t want to feel as if I’d been singed by wildfire.
‘You can drop me here and get back to your date. I’ll take the underground.’
‘Because walking down a dark alleyway alone at night wasn’t enough of a bad decision?’
He’d always been protective. He’d always tried to keep me from being hurt. The irony was that in the end he’d been the one who had hurt me.
‘I travel on the underground all the time.’
‘Not when you’re with me.’
Heat flooded through me. ‘I’m not with you.’
‘Right now you are.’ His tone was savage. ‘And unlike your useless date, I’m not leaving you.’
‘Why? Have you suddenly developed a conscience?’ I watched as two streaks of colour highlighted his cheekbones and knew I’d scored a point. ‘Look, I’ve never been one for reunions, so just stop the damn car and—’
‘What the hell were you doing going out with a guy like him in the first place? He’s not the right man for you.’
‘You don’t know anything about me.’
‘I know everything about you.’ His husky tone was deeply personal and I felt everything tighten inside me.
The chemistry between us had always been explosive.
I’d assumed it was because he was my first, but I was fast realizing his ranking had nothing to do with it.
I stole a glance at his profile, wondering what it was about him that made me feel this way. He had the same features as anyone else: eyes, mouth, nose—his nose had been broken a couple of times. But something about the way those features had been assembled on him just worked. He looked tough, like someone who could handle himself—probably because he could—and the combination of rugged good looks and a hard body was pretty irresistible.
I felt a pang of regret that I’d wasted the time I’d had with him. Instead of just enjoying myself and having fun, which was what I should have done at eighteen, I’d been clingy and needy. Part of me wished I’d met him a few years later. Then we would have set the world alight.
But it was too late for all of that.
‘Just drop me off and go back to the blonde.’
‘You don’t need to be jealous. She’s a colleague.’
‘I’m not jealous.’ But I was, and I hated that. I hated the fact that he made me feel that way after all this time. ‘Fuck you, Hunter.’
And I had, of course. If there was one thing we’d been good at, it was sex.
His knuckles were white on the wheel.
His head turned briefly and his gaze met mine again.
It was like the collision of two tectonic plates. I
