meet. Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. You know me, J.
That was the worst part. She did know Jax. Better than anyone. She knew he couldn’t be faithful. He said it was a man’s biological imperative to need new conquests. He didn’t even bother to pretend. She used to tell herself she appreciated the honesty. That all guys felt that way, but at least Jax was honest about it. She knew he wouldn’t be with just one woman, and most of the time, she could convince herself she was fine with that. That it was just light and fun, and who cared? She didn’t want to marry Jax.
And, yet... it still hurt. She had to admit that.
“What you need to do is get off this Jax phase,” Maddie declared, clinking her beer bottle hard on the worn lacquer of the bar.
“Can you really call a year a phase?” The minute the words were out of her mouth when it hit her. She’d met Jax a year ago. She’d been hopping in and out of his bed, in and out of so-called relationships with him for all that time. That was either proof they ought to be together, or clear evidence she needed to find someone else. She didn’t know if Jax was her soul mate, or if he was her worst nightmare. Sometimes, it was hard to tell the difference.
“You’re as much to blame as Jax is. You keep going back for more.”
Jenna hated it when Maddie was so right.
“I know.” Did she ever. And she knew what she came back for. The man might not be monogamy material, but he made it his single-minded goal in life to make sure she came again and again, all night long. The thought of him and that little trick he did with his fingers, made her want to call off the breakup, end this bitch session with Maddie and head straight to his apartment. She took another swig of her fourth-round drink and realized it was half-gone.
Uh-oh. Not a good sign. She glanced up at the big-screen TV above the bar, which flashed a commercial of some hunky Taye Diggs-look-alike model shaving. That guy and his six-pack has nothing on Jax, she thought, even if Jax didn’t have the same handsome face. He’d had his nose broken twice on the football field, but the crooked bridge of his nose just added to his charm. Instantly, she hated her rebellious thoughts. She was supposed to be angry at him. He was toxic. Angrily, she turned her head from the not-as-cute-as-Jax model.
I wonder what Jax is doing right now? Is he with that Tinder girl? She felt jealousy lick up her spine.
“I’m addicted. I can admit it,” Jenna said.
“Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery,” Maddie quipped, flipping her long blond hair off one shoulder. “The second step is to admit that you want more than to play around.”
“I’m not ready to settle down,” Jenna declared, eyeing the sparkling diamond Maddie wore on her finger with some measure of mistrust. Granted, Maddie’s fiancé was amazing in every way: cute, thoughtful, good at hauling and putting together Ikea furniture. There were perks to being engaged, but Jenna couldn’t imagine taking that step yet. She’d not met anyone, including Jax, she’d want to spend the rest of her life with. She’d grown up with parents who never stopped arguing, and in her mind, marriage equaled an endless merry-go-round of fights and a slow, bitter backslide to divorce.
“You don’t have to get married, Jenna. But how about you admit that you want a relationship. Stop pretending that you and Jax want the same things.”
“But Jax is fun, and fun is no pressure.” Jenna didn’t do well with pressure. She’d run screaming from her college boyfriend when he’d hinted around that he wanted to get engaged. That was three years ago, and now she’d just turned twenty-six. She had plenty of time to worry about all of that.
Maddie took a swig of her drink and shook her head. “Jax is not fun when he’s cheating on you.” Maddie had a point there. That part wasn’t very fun at all.
“Yeah, but... can you call it cheating if we never really agreed to being exclusive?”
“Are you sleeping with anyone else?”
“No.”
“Does it hurt you when he does?” Maddie asked.
Jenna nodded.
“And, does he know this hurts you?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, it’s both your faults. But, still. One of you needs to end it for good. It’s not healthy. You’re not getting what you need.”
“Okay, maybe you’re right.”
“I am right,” Maddie said with confidence. “So, the next step is finding someone new.” She rolled the beer bottle around in her hand, studying it, as if Jenna’s new rebound would be found there.
“What about Jack?”
“Jack?” Jenna’s thoughts reluctantly left Jax as she focused on her friend. “Jack? My boss Jack?” Suddenly, Jenna felt sober. Jack was her gorgeous young director who’d only recently moved here from Ireland. “You know I can’t. Company policy.”
“At this point, I don’t care. Jack is hot. He’s nice. He’s got that killer accent. And anyone is better than Jax.”
Maddie didn’t lie. Jack, with the gravelly brogue, piercing blue eyes and the always-there stubble caught the eye of every woman and some of the men at Jenna’s ad agency. Jenna had noticed. Who wouldn’t? Those broad shoulders and flat stomach were meant for the cover of a romance novel. But he was the boss and he was off-limits. Period.
Besides, pretty boys like Jack never went for Jenna. She always got the rough-around-the-edges types. Like Jax. She didn’t know why, but this was a cardinal rule of her dating universe. It had been since high school. Pretty boys went for Maddie. Rough ones, for Jenna. Maybe they could all sense that Goth period she went through in high school. Whatever the reason, she’d given up on pursuing guys who looked like Jack.
“I’d rather you get fired than get back with Jax.” Maddie stared at Jenna until she blinked and looked away. Maddie let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. How about them?” Maddie nodded toward the guys down the bar. One of them caught Jenna’s eye and raised his beer mug, sloshing it out of the side.
“They’re drunk.” Jenna took a final swig of her drink and realized it was all gone. She glared with one eye at the remaining ice cubes, wondering where all her vodka had gone.
“So are you.” Maddie gave her friend a shove, nearly knocking her off the bar stool to prove her point.
“I’m fine. I’m going to the bathroom,” Jenna declared, slipping off her bar stool. The room took a little spin as she stood on wobbly legs, realizing for the first time how drunk she was. She managed to steady herself and walk an almost-straight line to the bathroom. The guys at the bar eyed her as she went, the want on their faces obvious as they watched her wobble by in her knee-high boots. Jenna worked hard to stay in shape, and she had her parents’ amazing Korean genes. She knew she turned heads at the bar even when she wasn’t even trying. Jax, after all, didn’t spend time with uglies, as he called girls not to his standards.
God, what a jerk, she thought, in a more sobering moment. Jax really
