Others Might Live engraved on the band and peered at the face. Ten minutes until the hour.
“Where’d you get that cool watch?” Bradley turned Joel’s wrist around, peering intently at it.
Joel slid his cuff up. “It was a gift from one of my boys.”
Bradley’s shoulders slumped and his grip on Joel’s wrist slackened. “Wow. Your kid sure is lucky. How many you got?”
Joel caught Bradley’s hand before he pulled it away. “I don’t have children. By boys, I meant one of my teammates.” Joel gave Bradley’s hand a comforting squeeze as compassion for the little guy consumed him.
“You gonna have any kids?” Bradley swung their arms back and forth like a hand clasp pendulum.
Miss Stanton put a firm hand on his shoulder. “Bradley, it’s not polite to ask personal questions.”
Joel looked at her and shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me.” He met Bradley’s gaze once more. “I don’t think being a dad is in God’s plans for me, buddy.”
Bradley squished up his nose. “Why not?”
“Enough, Bradley.” Miss Stanton’s voice carried a sternness that made even Joel perk up.
Bradley dipped his head. “Sorry, sir.”
Joel inched Bradley’s chin up with his finger. “No sweat, buddy. It’s all good, but I think it’s okay that you know. I didn’t have great examples for parents so I’d probably be no good at it.”
It struck Joel suddenly that his uncle Dean had been more of a father figure than Joel’s dad had been. Joel hadn’t thought about that in years. He certainly didn’t want to start thinking about it now. Despite Joel trying to sweep thoughts of Dean from his mind, they clung like stubborn dust.
The latent question of years ago resurfaced. Why had Dean gone out of his way for Joel? Were his actions motivated by guilt for cheating on Joel’s dad with his mother?
Or was there something else?
No matter. Joel had little mercy for a man who trampled on another man’s wedding vows. He didn’t want to disappoint Bradley in case the kid got some wild notion about hoping Joel would want him. A career military dad was the last thing this kid needed. He relinquished Bradley’s hand.
“Will I get to talk to you again?” Bradley asked in a small voice and twisted his shirt hem.
Miss Stanton smoothed his fidgety hands down.
“Of course. I’ll be here all day unless something happens. Tell you what. Save me a seat after the show and I’ll sit next to you. I’d feel honored if you’d be my best buddy today.”
Bradley’s face ignited with joy. “Cool! Did you hear that, Miss Stanton? He wants me to be his best buddy today! I’m going to be a PJ just like Joel when I grow up. A man of integ—”
“Integrity,” Miss Stanton enunciated. Pain flashed across her face with Bradley’s words. Joel doubted Bradley saw because she quickly hedged it. He determined to put his prayer pedal to the metal so that Bradley would get to grow up.
“Integrenary.” Bradley skewed his face.
“In. Teg. Rit. Tee,” she repeated. “Bathroom, tater.”
“Okay, gator.” Bradley ambled toward the building with an unsteady gait.
“You sure he’ll make it up those steps without falling?” Joel eyed Bradley until double steel doors swallowed him.
“Probably not, but he’d be mortally wounded with embarrassment if I helped him in front of the other students. Mr. Montgomery, I apologize for Bradley’s personal questions. He hasn’t been raised with the best of manners or social skills.”
Joel shrugged. “Kid’s just curious. Besides, it’s no secret to those who know me that having children is not on the radar for me.” Joel wanted to laugh at the curious look that flashed in the teacher’s eyes. It seemed to him that kids usually just spoke aloud what adults only had the guts to think.
He considered that he felt so mesmerized by her a blessing. Without knowing, she was keeping his mind off why he hated this town so much. It also helped that the school sat miles from the house on Haven Street. The spot where his life had unraveled, beginning with the breakup of his parents’ marriage and ending with his mother’s desertion of him. Then the fatal accident on her way back that snuffed out her life, and his hope of ever seeing her again.
Joel scanned the streets past the school yard where he’d worn out many sneakers and bicycle tires. Some good times, yeah. But the bad overshadowed and overtook them. In short, this wretched place haunted him with too many painful questions.
The only person with answers was the last person Joel ever wanted to speak to or see again. Questions like why his mom had been on her way back to Refuge from wherever she’d gone after abandoning him at age seven. Was it to come get Joel as she promised? Or even better, to reconcile her marriage so they could be a family again as he’d prayed and imagined night and day for three years?
“I understand you were born in Refuge. Do you come back here often?” Amber’s gentle voice tapped into his thoughts. Joel blinked a moment, figuring out how long he’d been staring like a lost astronaut into space, probably with a hopeless expression that matched the dismal chasm this town opened in him. His teammates had been right. This was tougher than he’d anticipated. He didn’t like not being in total control of his emotions and thoughts. He pondered how to answer her.
“You’re right. I was born here.” He hated the crack in his voice and forced a smile he didn’t feel.
He could tell by her concerned expression that she wasn’t fooled by the hedging veneer.
Another part of his mind rippled with pleasure that she had retained that bit of personal information about him. Her smile and soft voice eased the sadness of missing his mother. He cleared his throat. “I don’t recall hearing the Stanton name growing up here. So what about you? What brought you to Refuge?”
Her eyes lit with wit. “A car brought me here. I want to know why you’re avoiding my original question.”
Joel chuckled. She joined him as they walked along the grass. He’d forgotten how it felt to laugh with a lady.
“Well?” She lifted a brow; the smile never left her face.
He bent to pick up a gravel pebble, staring first at the chipped ridges, then at her. “I haven’t been back here since I moved away.”
Surprise shone in her eyes. He handed her the rock. “Memories live here that I’ve spent a lifetime trying to forget. I have a longtime rift with a family member who still lives here. So I try to avoid the place.”
He didn’t want to dredge up the memories by talking about them. But something in her eyes called to him. She placed the rock back in his hand then pulled out a stick of red licorice from her jacket pocket and peeled the plastic wrap off it. “Then it was truly a sacrifice for you to come here for Bradley. That speaks well of your character. Want half?”
He took the licorice, loving the smell,
