looked at the clock, then at the test indicator...
5
The test was positive. Just as she feared.
How the hell did that happen? Where had she gone wrong? she wondered as she wrapped the stick in a tissue to throw it in the bin.
After a few minutes she left the bathroom, feeling as if she had been given a strong dose of sedatives. But she didn't join Johnny in the living room. She didn't want him to notice the state she was in, and needed to think about things before talking to him.
She went to the bedroom and finished undressing, took her pyjamas from under the pillow and slipped them on like an automaton. Then she noticed that she had put the pants on back to front, but couldn’t be bothered to fix them.
Hearing footsteps, she turned, her back to the door. "Are you going to bed already?" asked Johnny.
"I'm very tired. Do you mind?" She pretended to be looking for something in the drawer of the bedside table so he wouldn't notice she was upset.
"No, not at all... I’ll join you as soon as the game ends, it’s half-time now." He walked towards her.
A mask of impassibility, the same one she wore in court, dropped over her face.
"All right." She closed the drawer again after taking out a packet of tissues she didn't need.
John hugged her from behind, his hands around her waist. "Go to bed,” he told her. I’ll turn off all the lights and close the shutters."
She turned her head to look at him sideways.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked her.
"You hate doing those things, I always have to do it."
He smiled. «Since you’re going to sleep and I have to go out, I’ll make the effort to do it."
"Are you going out with Ethan?"
"As usual. But don't worry, we won't be too late tonight."
John broke the embrace, gave her a light kiss on the temple and left the room.
Loreley slid under the covers, but struggled to get to sleep. For the first time, she felt happy that Johnny was going out without her in the evening. She hadn’t recovered from what had happened at Hans's wedding yet, and now she had a bigger problem. Neither of them had considered bringing a child into the world, not now.
***
Two days went by, and Loreley had not yet decided to let John know that he was about to become a father for the second time. She wanted to keep that secret to herself, although in a glimmer of rationality she vowed she would tell him as soon as possible, in the hope that he would not react negatively.
It was unbelievable that she could get pregnant despite taking the necessary precautions. When she was at home it was all she could think about; and it was only when she was in the office that she could get her mind off it. Work kept her busy and gave her a little respite.
That Wednesday morning she was in a courtroom with her client, Peter Wallace.
Loreley had seen defendants nervous, repentant, worried, frightened, or even pleased with themselves, but she had never seen such a detached expression on the face of any of them. For this client it was as if what was happening around him did not concern him at all. He sat there next to her, his eyes staring into space, with his hands clasped in a pose which would have been more suitable inside a church than a courtroom.
Loreley had met Judge Henry Palmer during her internship and had appreciated him for his humanity, which was not discernible now, however. His eyes were half-hidden by the drooping upper eyelids and the thin lips were tightly closed, as usual. She rarely saw him smile during a hearing. At a rough guess, he must have put on at least ten pounds since the last time she had seen him, and his belly was now pressing against the edge of the bench. Even the toga couldn't disguise it.
The judge adjusted his spectacles on his nose before asking her the question she expected. "How does your client plead?" His voice rang out loudly, but a little hoarse, as if he had just recovered from a sore throat.
She turned to Peter Wallace, who did not blink an eye. The only thing that let her know that he was alive was a barely perceptible twitch of his well-shaped jaw. "Innocent, Your Honour. My client has no previous record, he has always led a quiet life, and the crime of which he is accused is yet to be proven. The evidence against him is based solely on an unreliable statement. I ask for him to be released on bail."
"Prosecutor... " said the judge, inviting him to speak.
"The defendant has no priors, that’s true, but as has already been pointed out, he has an aggressive nature, and there is always a first time for any act. Furthermore, he could leave the State, his family has the means to help him. I ask that the defence's request be rejected.”
After careful consideration, the judge decided: "Bail is denied."
The sharp blow of the gavel ended the hearing
Her client turned to her then, his green eyes devoid of light.
"I'm sorry."
"It wasn't me. I know that no one believes me; not even you, counselor."
There was no humility in his tone nor self-pity, but no arrogance either. She saw him push a small lock of curly, Titian red hair from his eyes.
"Goodbye, Counselor Lehmann," he dismissed her, a moment before the guards arrived to escort him out of the courtroom.
She walked away quickly as another defendant and his defence attorney entered and were about to take their positions.
When she arrived home, Loreley threw herself on the sofa without even taking off her shoes. She had worked like she did every other day, but she felt more tired than usual. Even the scent of pot-pourri that permeated the air seemed stronger than usual. She turned up her nose.
When John returned shortly after, she raised a hand to greet him from the sofa, too comfortable to stand up and go to meet him.
"Are you all right?" he asked, approaching her. "You haven't even changed."
"I'm tired lately, you know that."
He took off his jacket, threw it on the armrest of the sofa, and after taking off her shoes sat down next to her. "Why don't you take a break, then?"
"I can't."
Johnny frowned. "Because of the case you're dealing with?"
"Yes, of course."
"Taking a weekend off won't change anything for your client, but it can only do you good."
"I don't know if it's the right moment..."
"Not even if I asked you to come to Paris with me this weekend?"
Loreley stared. "You never ask me to come with you when you go away for work."
"I know you love Paris and
