In Queer Street. Fergus Hume

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In Queer Street - Fergus  Hume

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certainly don't. In fact you ask so little that I am not sure if you can make me comfortable at the price."

      "Good food, a good bed and genteel society, Mr. Spruce. What more does mortal man require, save a fire, which is not necessary, seeing that summer is with us in all its annual glory?"

      "I don't think much of its annual glory comes to Bethnal Green, Mrs. Tesk. However, your terms will suit me, and I'll bring my boxes this afternoon. I can have a bath, I suppose?"

      "Sixpence extra if cold and one shilling if warm."

      "A cold bath will suit me as it is summer. Have you a valet in the house?"

      "No, Mr. Spruce. Such a menial is only to be found in the houses of the rich, as I understand from the perusal of novels read for recreation. Here you will find plain living and high thinking. My cook is an old servant, who is able to roast and boil healthy viands. Amelia, who is sixteen, attends to the house-work, and there is the boy, Simon Jedd--commonly called Bottles, which is a facetious appellation given to him by a paying guest inclined to merriment. Such is my staff."

      "And the paying guests?" asked Spruce, who began to think that five and twenty shillings was quite the top price to ask for such board and lodging.

      Mrs. Tesk coughed. "Our circle is limited at present to a chosen few, as London is rather empty just now, on account of the summer season, which attracts people to the green woods and the sounding sea. There is Madame Alpenny, who is of Hungarian extraction, but who married an Englishman; together with her daughter, Zara, a dancer of repute at the Bijou Music-hall. I hesitated to accept the daughter as a paying guest," added Mrs. Tesk loftily, "as my education scarcely permits me to approve of the profession of Terpsichore."

      "She was one of the Muses, you know," Spruce reminded her; "and as this is the Home of those ladies----"

      "Quite so," interrupted Mrs. Tesk in her most stately fashion. "That fact may have biassed me in my permitting her to reside under my roof. Also, not having many paying guests at present, the money was a consideration, and humanity interdicted me from parting mother and child; although I am bound to say that Madame Alpenny refused to come if I did not take her daughter also. Finally I consented, and since seeing Zara dance I have not regretted my yielding. She exhibits the poetry of motion in a high degree and is quite respectable."

      "Any other paying guests?"

      "Mr. Edward Bracken--ordinarily termed Ned,--who plays the violin in the Bijou orchestra with great delicacy, and Mr. Owain Hench, who is at present absent, and will not return for a week."

      Spruce rose and looked surprised. "Owain Hench. Will you spell his first name, Mrs. Tesk? I fancy I know him."

      Mrs. Tesk spelt the name slowly. "It is a Welsh title!" she said as if Hench was a member of the House of Lords, "and the spelling is peculiar. In history we are told of Owen Tudor, and Owen Glendower, who signed their Christian appellations somewhat differently."

      "It is the proper Welsh spelling," said Spruce, smiling. "He must be the same fellow I used to know at Winchester. We used to rag him about the queer way in which he spelt his name. Fancy Hench in this galley"--and he looked disdainfully round the shabby room--"I thought he was rich."

      "I am not acquainted with the financial affairs of Mr. Hench," said the landlady stiffly; "but I am quite certain that he is by no means endowed largely with specie. Nevertheless he is a kind-hearted and estimable young man, who will yet achieve fame and fortune, although in what particular direction it is at present hard to say. He has resided here for six months, so I can speak of his qualities with some knowledge."

      Spruce walked to the door. "I shall be glad to see Hench again," he remarked lightly. "Well, Mrs. Tesk, you may expect me and my luggage by four o'clock."

      "I understand." Mrs. Tesk folded her hands and bowed graciously. "You will be in time for afternoon tea, when I shall have the pleasure of introducing you to Madame Alpenny, Mademoiselle Zara, and to Mr. Edward Bracken. You will find us a happy family, Mr. Spruce, and I trust you will never regret coming to stay in The Home of the Muses."

      Spruce stifled a laugh and went out, lighting his cigarette and putting his hat on in the hall. He was immensely amused with the stately old-fashioned airs of the ex-school-mistress, and promised himself some fun in drawing her out. He did not anticipate a rosy time in the boarding-house, which was much too shabby and poor and sordid for one of his pleasure-loving nature; but he felt that the companionship of his old schoolfellow would enable him to pass the time fairly pleasantly. In his explanation to Mrs. Tesk as to his reason for coming to Bethnal Green, Mr. Spruce had not been entirely truthful, but the excuse of gathering material for a book would serve his purpose. The truth was that the Nut had been mixed up in a gambling affair with which cheating had been connected, so he had wisely determined to obliterate himself for a few months. Not being able to go abroad or into the country by reason of a lean purse, he had made up his mind to rusticate in Bethnal Green, and hoped that when the scandal was ended he could return to the West End. In the meantime, he was safe from observation, as no one would ever suspect that he was in London, so near and yet so far from civilization. He intended to give to Hench the same excuse as he had already given to Mrs. Tesk, and had no doubt but what it would be accepted. Hench, as he considered, was smart in many ways and the reverse in a few. While at Winchester he had been considered clever, but always over-confident that others were as honourable as himself, a belief which led to his being taken advantage of on many occasions. Spruce had never been intimate with Hench, as he belonged to a different set, but he was quite ready to be intimate with him now in such a dull locality as Bethnal Green. The cherubic little man by no means cared for the plain living and high thinking to which Mrs. Tesk had alluded, as he preferred high living and plain thinking, the latter having to do with thoughts of how to kill time by amusing himself. It was not likely that Hench would be of the same opinion, as from what Spruce remembered he had always been a solid sort of chap. Of course, it was eight years since the Nut had seen the young man, but if living in The Home of the Muses denoted his status, it was probable that he would be more solid than ever. And solid in the opinion of Mr. Spruce meant woeful dullness and pronounced common-sense. Therefore he scarcely anticipated that Hench would prove to be an ideal companion.

      However, owing to the trouble in the West End, Spruce had to make the best of things, and duly arrived at the appointed time with his five boxes. People did not usually come to Mrs. Tesk's establishment with so much luggage, but Spruce being a Nut, and eminently fashionable, required many clothes to set off his rather mean little person. Amelia, the maid-of-all-work, and Jedd, who was facetiously called "Bottles," helped the cabman to carry up the many trunks to the new-comer's bedroom, and looked upon him with awe as the owner of such costly paraphernalia. Mrs. Tesk was also pleased in her stately fashion, as the arrival of such a quantity of luggage imparted dignity in some mysterious way to her establishment. By four o'clock the new paying guest had taken possession of his new abode, and was on his way to the drawing-room to meet those already assembled under Mrs. Tesk's hospitable roof. To do honour to the occasion, and to produce a good impression, Spruce had changed into a brand-new suit, and looked like Solomon-in-all-his-glory when he entered the stuffy apartment grandiloquently termed the drawing-room. It was tolerably large and less crowded with furniture than the sanctum of the landlady, but the windows being closed and the day being warm, Spruce gasped when he ventured in. It was like entering the coolest room of a Turkish bath.

      "Allow me," said Mrs. Tesk in her deepest and most genteel voice. "Mr. Spruce, permit me to introduce you to Madame Alpenny, to Mademoiselle Zara Alpenny and to Mr. Edward Bracken. Madame Alpenny, Mademoiselle Alpenny and Mr. Edward Bracken, permit me to introduce you to Mr. Spruce, our new companion."

      During the landlady's long-winded introduction the Nut bowed to the several

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