JOY: Hope doll, it is hatching out of an egg. There is a strong chance that it’s going to be different. But all it’ll need is love … and somewhere to spread its wings.
HOPE: How do you know that?
JOY: Eh?
HOPE: How do you know it’ll have wings?
JOY: What?
HOPE: ‘Somewhere to spread its wings’?
JOY: That’s just something people s…
Beat.
JOY: It’s going to have actual wings?
A big moment.
JOY: It was a bird?
…
A biggish bird?
HOPE: …
JOY: Goose?
HOPE shakes her head.
JOY: Stork?
A look. (Do you think you’re funny?)
JOY: Swan?
HOPE: Whooper Swan.
A moment.
JOY: What was he like?
HOPE: They’re bigger than a Mute Swan, and the beak’s a bit more pointy.
JOY: I actually meant the sex. What was the sex like?
HOPE: It was … fine.
JOY: …
HOPE: He was … unbelievably graceful.
JOY: Unbelievably graceful? There’s a thing you don’t hear every day.
So where is he now?
HOPE: Langisjór in Southern Iceland. Sixty-four degrees, ten minutes and one second North, Eighteen degrees, nineteen minutes, fourteen seconds West.
I’m tracking him with a forty gramme solar powered satellite transmitter.
A look from JOY.
HOPE: Oh … I’m not stalking him.
It’s my job.
At least it was my job.
Researching the impact of climate change on the migratory habits of Icelandic Whooper Swans.
…
I was meant to be going to Iceland. To visit the Highland Meadows.
JOY: Maybe he’ll come back and see you.
HOPE: I doubt it. Last year they nearly didn’t come back at all.
A moment.
JOY takes the egg out the incubator.
JOY: Here … have a wee cuddle in.
HOPE: What if I crush it? What if I roll over and it falls out the bed?
She gives the egg to HOPE.
JOY: Here.
See?
It’s like a wee warm stone, eh?
***
JOY at home with her goldfish. Her mother is in the next room. She takes a shopping list from her pocket. Reads.
JOY: Fish food.
Paracetamol.
Daz.
Neutradol.
Tomato soup.
Tomato soup.
She adds ‘stain remover’ to her list.
JOY: Stain remover.
Potatoes.
Milk.
Bread.
Eggs.
…
Crosses out ‘eggs’.
Beer.
Crisps.
Banging on the wall.
JOY: OK Mum, OK.
***
Morning. HOPE has a knitting pattern, a circular needle and a tangle of wool. She’s distraught.
JOY: What are you doing?
HOPE: I don’t know. I’ve never used a circular needle before.
JOY: Well what’s it supposed to be?
HOPE: It’s an egg warmer. Apparently it’s not safe to have him in the bed beside me.
JOY: Who told you that?
HOPE: The experts.
JOY picks up the knitting pattern and rips it up.
HOPE: Now I’ll never know what I’m doing!
JOY: (Shouts.) None of us knows what we’re doing Hope!
Least of all the experts!
A moment.
JOY: Sorry. I’m really sorry. I haven’t slept. I think I’m losing it.
Pause.
HOPE: I can ask the psychologists for a questionnaire if you like.
To see if you’re feeling shite.
JOY: I can tell when I’m feeling shite.
HOPE: They’ll be able to tell how shite you feel … a wee bit shite or a big bit shite. And if you’ve always felt shite. Apparently I’m feeling shiter than before but not clinically shite.
JOY: You’ll feel different when it hatches.
Beat.
JOY: Do you smoke cannabis?
HOPE: No!
JOY: Pity.
Do you have a bath?
HOPE: Shower.
