that,” “Can you explain further”—these phrases can be adequate responses that can keep a conversation balanced and leaves room to either continue it or finish it. Sometimes, people are quick to talk and add things into a conversation that may not be necessary, or they just want to get their point across.
When you communicate with someone, you should always be on the lookout to learn something new.
Here are some basic elements which I think will help in being a successful diplomat.
Tell the truth: Always be honest in your approach. Say what you mean and say it from the heart with a universal approach—not an attack or judgment.
Be humble: If you are not clear on something or not certain, ask questions and offer an open floor to share thoughts and clarify points of interest.
Never underestimate or overestimate anyone or anything. Do not assume anything. Find out the complete version of an issue from all sides.
Be tolerant of all people, all opinions, and all circumstances.
Do not criticize any idea, opinion, or comment. Agree to disagree but respect each person’s right to their thoughts.
Try to use as many positive words and phrases as possible like we, collective, cooperation, together, equal, I understand, I have another way to look at it, let’s find the best solution. Create an atmosphere of hope and progress.
Speak calmly clearly and with a pleasant tone. Yelling and arguing are ineffective because, for the most part, what is being said is not really being heard.I was trying to tell someone something. I agreed with this person and even tried to offer an apology if I was off the track, but this person’s reaction was so aggressive and a little stupid because I was agreeing. The actual response was “What do you mean you agree…agree to what?” This person didn’t even hear what I was saying.You see how this aggressive approach can destroy any chance of communication. I have seen this simple action ruin so many situations and even relationships.
Listen: Take a moment to listen to what is being said and not react to what is being said. Give yourself that “ten-second window” to absorb and prepare your response so it is conducive to the situation and not diverting the real issue.Many times, in conversations, angry responses are based on some personal situation or feeling someone has that has nothing really to do with the matter at hand. Separate your feelings of anxiety and emotions and put them in their proper perspective.When you are angry or responding angrily, what is the nature of this anger? Is it your feeling about the issue? Or is it something else? Is it something you don’t like about the situation or the person or some other problem?
Be clear in your approach when you speak. Know what you are talking about and the reasons why you are talking.
Think of people in history who have used diplomacy to make their mark on the world and have changed the course of history. From the early days of man to our current society, who do we know that has used diplomacy successfully and who has used diplomacy unsuccessfully?
Diplomacy is the foundation for our existence and our survival as a society, as a nation, and as a planet. The decisions that are made by us and for us must be in our best interest and the interest of all people.
Can diplomacy be a key factor in dealing with racism, poverty, environmental issues, health issues, economic growth, educational growth, stronger family and community involvement, reducing crime and addictions, world peace, and cultural harmony?
Yes, it can. If we take it seriously and involve ourselves in the mechanism, it can make a difference in our daily lives.
Let’s start with how we talk to each other and treat each other. When was the last time you held the door for someone, said good morning to a stranger, gave up your seat on the train, let someone go ahead of you in the supermarket, bought a homeless person a cup of coffee, gave someone a compliment, shoveled your neighbors snow, enjoyed a good laugh with someone, volunteered your time to help someone or an organization, reached out to a friend or family member.
My point is, diplomacy starts at home with one kind act, one gesture, one positive word, one step toward harmony, unity, understanding, and peace.
Chapter Two
“Words” Weapons or Wisdom
When we are born into this world, we are given certain things that allow us to function and develop. We have a brain to process information, learn, experience things, feel emotions, dream, create, and achieve what we desire.
We have a body. We have arms and hands to hold things, access, and operate equipment and other devices. We can express ourselves physically through hugging, holding hands, writing, and creating things. We have legs and feet to stand and support our body, to walk, run, and move from one place to another.
We have organs that allow us to breathe, process food, maintain our system, cleanse our bodies when needed. We have eyes to see with, ears to hear, a nose to smell, a tongue to taste. We have a soul and a spirit which guides us and helps us to live our lives.
Last but not least, we all have in our possession the most powerful tool we can possess—something that can change destiny and make history. This special item we all have, but many don’t respect or appreciate this gift, is our mouth—the center of your being. This is a place where all things interact with each other, like a nucleus where all things physical and spiritual meet and intertwine.
It is from this mouth where energy is released in the form of words, like little hand grenades we sometimes toss around so nonchalantly.
It explodes into the universe, leaving its mark. Sometimes, these little grenades can cause chaos, destruction, as well as collateral damage if you get too close.
Words are the essence of communication. Without them, it would be somewhat difficult to interact in this society.
Words represent laws, standards, rules, directions, warnings, honor, praise, confirmation, commitment, guarantees, promises, hope, knowledge, wisdom, guidelines, inspiration, betrayal, doubt, fear, and a host of other interpretations.
Think of yourself as a general and your words are the army. Alone each word has a certain significant power. Put them together, and you have a powerful force.
Words have a life force all its own. So much so that they can affect almost any situation, any person, any place, any time.
If someone walked right up to you in your face, looked you in the eyes, and said, “Love,” you would probably react positively, maybe even smile, just like if someone came to you and said, “Stupid.” You may not react so positively at first.
Here are some of what I call “trigger words.” These are words that can cause an immediate reaction from someone.
Read the following words to yourself and notice what your immediate reaction is to each word.
Love
Hate
Wife
Penis
Rape
Money
Ugly
Slavery
Politics
