That’s telling, isn’t it?
When we get to the end of a relationship, whether it ends up being mutual or completely one-sided—truth, I’m afraid, is not often the prevalent force. I mean, we all hope that truth is there, somewhere, but the truth is, there are way too many emotions and hurt and other motivations that drive the interactions that happen at the end. And so, naturally, things tend to get muddy. And confusing. And when we’re in that place, we’re vulnerable—and acting more in survival mode than building mode. Which means, we aren’t often getting answers. We’re just getting words.
So—I know this will be hard. But try your best not to overanalyze the words that came right at the end. They aren’t the ones that get to tell the whole story—and they definitely don’t get to retell the whole story. I mean, sure—you’re going to question whether everything that came before the hurt was actually real. You’re going to question whether they actually ever really loved you. You’re going to question how they could possibly walk away after all you’ve been through. After all the promises that were made.
And that’s all normal, love. Completely normal.
Just do me a favor and keep in mind that endings are always confusing. And hard. I mean it. Do your best not to reread their messages over and over and over. And don’t analyze the words they used. And compare them to what they used to say. Or how they used to say it. Things aren’t usually that transparent. Or that simple.
So I’m going to help you refocus. Because there is really only one truth here.
It ended.
And that means, for whatever reason, that just wasn’t your person.
Maybe, like I mentioned before, that status is a forever thing. Or maybe it’s a just a right now thing. But either way, you have got to figure out how to move forward right now without going back. And you can blame yourself for whatever you want. You can make it your fault or theirs. You can say it was about an event, or bad timing, or a misunderstanding. But it doesn’t much matter. None of that matters. Understanding what happened doesn’t change the outcome—and it also doesn’t change how you need to react to it. We are different people with each person we choose to share a portion of our lives with. Which means—all you can do is reflect on who you are. And what you choose to do with that.
**
We are different people
with each person we choose
to share a portion of our lives with.
So all you can ever do is reflect on who you are.
And what you choose to do with that.
A few more things, about this beginning part.
I know you want answers. I know you want them more than anything you’ve ever wanted. But—this just might not be the time for answers. Yeah, I know—that just plain old stinks. It does. But I promise you, love, the answers will come. And I also promise you that the answers you’re looking for are not hiding in the place (or with the person) the questions are coming from. So slow down a little. Try to calm your mind. We’re going to work through this. And you will come out the other side stronger.
Oh. And you will love again. You will.
Even though you’re hurting like crazy, I want you to keep that in your mind and in your heart. That you will love again. Whether it is them or someone you haven’t even met yet—your life will go on. Your heart will move on. And these experiences will all be just an essential part of who you are becoming. So until that all comes together for you, let’s just face one truth that is actually worth facing. A truth that will hopefully ground you during this early part—before you make choices that have the potential to hurt you even more.
They stay.
If it’s real—and it’s healthy—and it was what you both needed—they stay.
You can at least believe that, right?
**
The answers
you are looking for
are not hiding in the place,
or with the person,
the questions are coming from.
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