I am a woman and not a servant nor a mule.” She shot a hard stare in the direction of her husband before continuing her conversation with Barney. “But before we answer that, you explain please.”
“My dear lady, whatever are you referring to?” Barney asked innocently, trying his best not to show the smile that was now entering his facial features.
“You know dad gum good and well what I’m talking about,” Martha replied. “That shot of yours that cost me two of my much-needed years of my life.”
“Oh, that.”
“Yes, oh, that,” repeated Martha. “But this time, no tall tales or big whoppers, you hear?”
“Yes, um, I reckon I do.”
“And none of that dumb hillbilly act neither,” Martha scolded. “Life aren’t going to fall for that, are we, gang?”
Smiling eyes and shaking heads flowed around the campfire and one demonstrative “Ain’t no way” from Luke, which meant that he did not have a clue to what she was talking about.
“Okay, okay,” Barney surrendered. “I had noticed that your fire was getting low, so I figured that whoever was on guard duty, if anyone, had fallen asleep, so to keep from startling anyone and maybe getting shot, I walked back up the canyon a ways and fired my gun in the air. I knew that the sound would echo, and by the time I returned to the camp, everyone would be aroused and fully awake.” Hard looks came from nearly everyone in camp but John and Luke. Luke looked bewildered, while John’s face was a cross between understanding, admiration, and guilt. Yes, it was John who had fallen asleep on guard duty.
“John, how could you fall asleep on duty while so many lives were in your hands?” scoffed Bernie Douglas.
“Ain’t no way!” shouted Luke.
“Yes, there was a way,” John admitted. “And you are quite right, Mr. Douglas, I made a very bad mistake. Luckily we were all unharmed this time.”
“Well, I hope you—” started Mr. Douglas.
“Honest mistake. Honest humans make honest mistakes,” Matt mumbled as he put up the stick that he was whittling on and meandered off toward the horses. Bernie Douglas pouted as the rest of the group only grinned.
“Well, that’s a human error that I hope will never happen again,” remarked John as a small whimpering yelp came from the unhuman who was lying near Barney T. John reached over to pet Do-What and said, “You too, uh, boy?”
Chapter Three
Stagecoach or No Stagecoach
“Young lady, may I have some more coffee while I am waiting for an answer to my question?” Barney asked. “I trust that I answered your question satisfactorily, Mrs. Douglas?”
Martha politely nodded, and Beth brought over the big, heavy, hot coffee pot to pour Barney another cup. There was silence for a brief period as it seemed that no one wanted to take the task of relating the long story to the new member of the group.
John, seeing that Luke was about to open his mouth, began to tell of the journey.
“Well,” John hesitantly started. “My home was near Green River, Wyoming. My wife and I had a small place there. One day while I was in town getting seed for corn, a skunk got after our chickens. Nellie, my wife, got after the skunk with an old broom, just like she had done many times before. But this time, the skunk did not run. Instead, it turned on her, bit her on the ankle, and then ran off. A fortnight later, Nellie came down with a high fever. The skunk was rabid, and two days later, Nellie died, leaving me by myself.”
The whole camp was listening intently because this was the first time that John had mentioned that he even had a wife. Matt thought to himself, “John must really have a lot of respect for Barney.” John was a good judge of character, and to tell Barney this story, John must think that Barney was one very fine person.
“To make a short story long,” John tried to ease the tension, “Nellie’s people were from St. Louis, so I took her there to be buried. On the way home, I met the Douglases and Beth on the stage at Independence, Missouri. I really didn’t have nothing to come home to, so when they mentioned that they were going to California for a while, I decided to just head that way myself.”
Seeing that John was thinking of Nellie somewhat, Martha took over. “Bernie and I had just gotten married, so we decided to take a month and go to San Francisco for a honeymoon. Since our parents have passed on, we brought Beth along on the trip. So far, she seems to be enjoying the trip better than either one of us.”
“Me too,” Luke butted in on the conversation. “Me and Matt—”
“Matt and I,” Martha corrected.
“You wasn’t with Matt, I was,” Luke insisted.
“Oh, never mind,” Martha conceded.
“Anyways,” Luke continued. “We got on the stage in Denver. We drove a string of horses up there. Boy, did we have a rough drive! When we started up there, I knew it was going to be rough. You remember me telling you that it wasn’t going to be an easy drive, Matt? I could just feel it. You remember me telling you we ain’t gonna make it? Ain’t no way. But we did, then—”
“Then,” John took over the reins to keep Luke from rambling on and on about nothing. “We got as far as Provo, and the stage line decided that they weren’t going to cross the desert again until late August or early September. Personally I could have waited ’til then, but not Martha. When Martha sets her mind to doing something, you have three choices: get out of the way, get run over, or help out. At the time, the utter seemed to be the best choice. So we got a couple of wagons and some provisions together and started on our way, stagecoach or no stagecoach.”
Chapter Four
Just A-wantin’ to Breathe
“Well, Mr. Beast, where is your home? Do you live in these woods? Do you live by yourself other than Do-What there? Why do—” Luke was starting to ramble.
“Lu-uke,” Martha halfway scolded.
“It’s okay, ma’am,” Barney took up for Luke. “You all have the same questions but are too embarrassed to ask, especially all at once.”
“Nope,” said Matt with a chew of tobacco in his mouth. “Luke was fixin’ to start jabbering, and Martha figured, ‘Ain’t no bay.’” Matt had to spit. “We are gonna ask them questions in due time.”
Looking over at Luke, Barney answered, “Son, I guess you must like to talk?” Luke nodded as Barney continued, “And I bet that you’re very good at it too.”
Luke saw another opening and took advantage of it, “Yes, sir, but not as good as Mr. Douglas over there. Why, I saw him talk a lady into buying an undergarment from him when she was fifty cents short of two-bits. Well, the way he explained to her how good she would look in that thing, I thought she was going to buy two of ’em. Then—”
Bernie
