the perfect time to just talk one-on-one while we shopped. After that, we agreed to the movies. When we got to dinner, things fell apart. I told Iliana that her father had been released from prison and asked to see her. Iliana’s eyes filled with water. She started breathing heavy and then went off on me asking me if she had to go or not. I told her I agreed and she needed to see her dad. She said I should have talked to her about it first. I tried calming her down because we were in a public place, but she thought it was in her best interest to call me a part-time mother and that if it weren’t for you she would’ve run away by now! I let it marinate until we got to the parking lot before demanding an apology. She was so full of herself that she decided she was in the clear to call me a bitch before slamming the car door in my face. And here we are now live in HD,” Janet explained, throwing her hands up in defeat.
I tried my best to be empathetic as I hugged Janet but couldn’t help feeling angry at the fact that David was out and she hadn’t even mentioned it.
“Janet, why would you make such a decision concerning Iliana without talking to me first? Why would you think her reaction would be any different from what you got?” I asked.
“Wow! Now I guess it’s your turn to criticize me about the fucking decisions I make about my daughter with her father. I don’t have to get your approval about anything concerning my daughter. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even have to bring this to your attention, which I now regret to be completely honest with you. And let’s be clear. She only calls you Dad as a luxury. We both know that you are not her father!” Janet snapped while pointing her finger in my face.
“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? Seven years of being together and I’ve never heard this kind of disrespect from you!” I yelled. “Iliana calling me Dad is a luxury now? What a fucked-up thing to say! This must be the bullshit you had to tell me earlier when I was at the office,” I said.
“Yes, as a matter of fact it was, smart ass! I knew that had I said something to you earlier I could have jeopardized your presentation, so I took that into consideration, but excuse the hell out of me!” Janet said as she turned her head and walked out of the room.
“Janet, that is the last fucking time you’re going to walk away from me! Hold on… Wait a minute. You’ve been talking with David before he called you to let you know he was out. How did he get your cell phone number?” I asked.
“David and I have always stayed in touch, even before you and I started dating, Kahlil. And this situation is far from bullshit!” Janet screamed.
“Why am I out of the loop with the interactions between you and your ex?”
“David wrote to me asking how his daughter was doing and if I needed anything from him. When I wrote back, I did mention that I was in a serious relationship and that Iliana was taken care of. Every time I wrote to David, I reiterated to him that I had moved on with my life; so regardless of how he felt he had changed in his life, we were not getting back together. The only reason we stayed in touch was for Iliana’s sake, Kahlil. And the reason I never showed you any of the letters was pretty simple actually; they’re not mailed here. I had a post office box prior to us dating,” she said.
I stood there stunned, staring at Janet with a look of disappointment.
“So you’ve been keeping secrets? I can’t believe that this is the first time I’m hearing about this out of the seven years that we’ve been together. To find out that you have been in touch with your ex without my knowledge is bullshit! How could you keep something like this from me, Janet?”
“Kahlil, David is Iliana’s father! I’m not going to completely shut him out of her life because you have a problem with it,” Janet fired back, folding her arms with attitude.
“Janet, the child has no fucking clue whom this man is, so please spare me with the he’s her father, Kahlil shit,” I said sarcastically.
“I don’t like your tone or your attitude, so you need to calm the hell down!” Janet demanded.
The yelling inside the den grew louder and louder as the early hours of morning began to creep in.
“Look. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for Iliana knowing whom her biological father is, and you know this, but what I’m not going to do is stand here and just take it after finding out that you two have been in contact with one another regularly this entire time! The P.O. box’s the fucking cake!”
“We’re not married, Kahlil, and let’s be real here. You haven’t even come close to asking me to marry you after all this time, so why do I need to justify everything I do?”
“Unbelievable! And you think pulling this stunt would even make me want to ask you for your hand in marriage? I thought we were up front and open with one another, but now I see we haven’t been. You don’t have to tell me shit!”
“Kahlil, you’re making this a bigger issue than it has to be!”
“Really! Is that what I’m doing? I know this for damn sure. If the roles were switched, you would have lost your damn mind, and you know it! So now I must ask. How honest have you been with me about your communication with David? Is there more that you care to disclose now that shit is out in the open?” I asked.
An unsettling silence engulfed the den. The stare between us lasted for only a second but felt like an hour.
“That’s not fair, Kahlil. I’ve been more than up front with you with everything else,” she yelled.
“I don’t trust what you’re trying to sell me right now, but you know what…never mind. I’m done,” I said, walking out of the den.
I hurried into the bedroom and changed my clothes. Once finished, I grabbed my keys and headed toward the garage. In the hall, I noticed that Iliana’s bedroom light was still on. I glanced down at my watch. It was 2:00 a.m. Softly, I knocked on her door.
“Come in,” she replied with a bit of hesitation in her voice.
Iliana was sitting at her desk writing in her journal. I watched as she wrote and cried with every angry stroke of her pen.
“It’s late, honey. You should be resting. You have school in a few hours.”
“I’m all right, Dad. I don’t want to see him, and Mom shouldn’t force me to,” she pleaded.
Before I could respond, Iliana jumped from her desk running into my arms again, crying so hard that she brought me to tears.
“It’s all right, honey. We will all sit down to figure out how to handle this. Right now, my dear, you need to calm down. Nothing will be solved right tonight.”
Iliana looked up at me simply responding in one word, “Okay.”
After kissing her on the forehead, we exchanged sentimental I love you’s before I walked out.
Headed down the hall to the glass French doors of my office, I keyed in the password to gain access and then grabbed my coat, laptop, briefcase, cell phone, and five thousand dollars from my safe. Once I reached the backdoor, out emerged Janet from around the corner. She glanced at my bag and briefcase I was holding and grabbed my arm.
“Kahlil, you leaving is no way to resolve anything,” she said, gripping my elbow with one hand while bracing the backdoor.
“You
