so the awkward feeling and having the nurse telling me what to expect from it, pain wise and how I should keep my finger still. I remember that she pricked my finger fairly quickly and that she used a cotton ball to apply pressure, and she held it on my finger for approximately thirty seconds, and she goes to remove the cotton ball and looks at my finger and says, “You’re still bleeding, that’s not good.” The nurse exclaiming that out loud, that did anything but put me at ease. All that really did for me was raise concern and just made me wonder what was going on and somewhat spooked me and made me nervous of what was going to come next. My dad had told me that I had to go downstairs to the lower level of the hospital to get some blood drawn so that the doctors could run more tests. He knew I really felt uncomfortable around needles and especially if I had to get a shot. At the time, I really disliked whenever I had to get shots, even as a little kid, I would even cry because shots just scared me and freaked me out. The thought of a needle going inside my arm frightened me, and the pain that came with a shot terrified me.
With me liking energy drinks at the time, my dad had told me that if I could overcome getting my blood drawn, he would buy me two energy drinks of my choice. Keeping that in mind, I knew that I had to be brave and conquer this obstacle. It came to a time where they had called my name to go with them to get my blood drawn. I felt like a prisoner getting my name called for an execution when they called out my name. Honestly, I don’t remember much about getting my blood drawn. I was just trying to focus on what my dad had promised on getting me after I accomplished this necessary task for my own good. They sent my dad and me home and that they would get us the results that day because of the urgency and because of my symptoms. They wanted to be sure to get us the results from the blood drawn as soon as they possibly could. My mom was in college at the time, she went to a community college to become a full-time teacher.
We were about to go pick up my mom and then head back to the hospital, but one thing that I noticed that was on my dad’s computer before we had left. My dad was reading an article on the internet titled: “Leukemia and the symptoms from it.” It was something similar to that, if not that, I didn’t pay too much attention to the title because I just briefly read it once and became sick to my stomach and instantly felt awful. I wish that the article had said anything but that; reading those words on the screen, instantly struck fear into my entire body. Pretending like I didn’t see what my dad was reading on the internet, we left my house uncertain of what the doctor was going to tell us. We picked up my mom after her class, and we rode together to the hospital. All of us anxiously awaiting on what news the blood drawing would bring, we all waited with composure even though we really didn’t have any, in the general patient room.
They stayed opened much later than what they usually do so that raised some concern with my dad. I was trying to stay optimistic, even if things didn’t look so pleasant. Finally after long await, the doctor stepped in the room and shut the door, and my family and I couldn’t wait on what the doctor had to say. From what I could recall, the doctor started talking about cancer patient care and what hospitals could be my best options. The doctor was discussing about how her husband also has leukemia and what hospital he went to for treatment and how far away the closest emergency room was to us and that immediately we had to leave for one.
My mind wasn’t fully aware of what the doctor was talking about, and it didn’t even process of what the doctor just told all of us as a family until one of the most heartbreaking and most saddening events in my entire life happened to me. I was looking all around the room after the doctor stopped talking and left the room; I was lost and confused. I just had one question and wanted an answer on to what was going on and what was the doctor talking about. My dad had pure frustration and anger on his face from the news, but right after I saw my dad’s reaction to the recent discovery, I looked at my mom for an answer. This hurts me talking about it or even at just the thought because I remember so lucid what happened when I looked at my mom for an answer. She had burst into tears the moment the doctor shut the door behind us, and I just looked at my dad first hoping that I would be able to figure out what was the striking news. It traumatized me so badly seeing my mother cry, let alone her bursting into tears how she did; I even could describe what she wore that day.
After seeing such shocking reactions in such little time, I put together the pieces to the deadly puzzle. I have cancer, and I just started crying because I was immediately in fear for my life, and I feel like that I just got the death sentence. After crying for a few minutes and somewhat losing my mind, my dad looked at me firmly and said to me, “You’re going to kick this things ass.” We left the hospital hours after they had already closed and not a word was said to my family when we were leaving. It was tremendously silent, and I had just had my world crushed, and I was just looking down toward the ground, vastly brokenhearted from the news I just received. I was just walking toward the car getting some of my things packed and headed for the emergency room.
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