and 7 ([median is] 3) lifetime sexual partners. 76% are religious, 24% are not. 49% are married, 51% are unmarried, and 14% have been divorced. Most of the divorced men remain unmarried.
The 80/20 rule is largely substantiated. Even if the outliers aren’t included, the 20% (27) most sexually successful men had sex with 617 of the 921 women involved, or 67% of them. But since the Alphas and Sigmas by definition, [are] outliers, it’s necessary to include them here even though we didn’t in attempting to determine what is average. Including all 10 outliers meant that the 28 most sexually successful men had sex with 1099 of the 1447 women, or 76%. So, in the interest of precision, it should probably henceforth be described as the 75/20 rule, wherein 20 percent of the men are having 75% of the sexual encounters.
Women were significantly more pro-marriage than men. 86% of women were either satisfied with their marriage or interested in getting married versus 63% of men. In general, divorced and irreligious men were the most likely to be anti-marriage. Younger men were very slightly less likely to be pro-marriage, but the average difference between the pro- and anti-marriage camps was only one year. To the extent that the “marriage strike” exists, it appears to cover the full range of male ages.
Monetary success does tend to correlate with sexual success for men. The average income of the 28 ALPHAs, who had an average age of 38, was 50% higher than the average at $112k. The average income of the male virgins, whose average age was 31, was 16% lower than the norm at $63k. Now, obviously the additional seven years was an advantage in providing more time to increase income and gain sexual experience, though not enough to account for the full disparity. And yet, money is clearly not the only determinant since there are ALPHAs with no income and virgins with very high incomes. Still, throwing out just one outlier on both ends would make the correlation even stronger.
There is a noticeable difference between the Alphas and the High Alpha players. The obvious dividing line there is around 40+ partners. So, there is the all-important distinction many women have requested. Any man with more than 30+ historical partners should probably be assumed to be a ruthless player intrinsically unfit for a long-term relationship as 62% of the men in this category were anti-marriage. Only the male virgins, at 66%, were more strongly anti-marriage. Compare to this the 80% of Alphas in the 15–30 partner category who were pro-marriage; all of those in this category who were anti-marriage were irreligious and most were divorced.39
So what does all of this mean as far as sex, marriage and gamers are concerned? Some interesting tidbits arise. It seems that men who have had more than thirty partners are less interested in marriage, as are men who are virgins, who are the most anti-marriage. The High Alpha men with numerous partners might be players and just enjoy being that way. But, female readers, take note: Those Alpha men with fifteen to thirty partners are the most marriage-minded. Perhaps if an Alpha is not an all-out player, he is more likely to have the confidence and prior positive experience to believe he can make a marriage work and is confident enough to feel that nothing will go wrong legally or otherwise.
However, the non-Alphas tell a different story. For those men who are not Alphas, many fewer women are available. If 24 percent of the men are sharing 76 percent of the women, the sexual prospects are poor for the 76 percent of men who are sharing the other 24 percent of women. Perhaps of those 76 percent, some are the virgins who are the most anti-marriage or are less marriage-minded because they have fewer women to choose from or feel socially rejected. It would be interesting to see if the men who are more in the Beta and lower classifications are playing more video games. Vox Day had this to say about the younger gamers with whom he has had contact:
I probably have a unique perspective on it due to my connections to the young guys in the gaming industry. It’s bizarre how some of them are in their twenties, have graduated from good schools, and have simply zero interest in women. They just have literally nothing in common with them and no interest in them.
The “strike” theory is generally correct, I think. The problem is that games and porn are entertaining, inexpensive, easily accessible, and reliable. Women can be entertaining, but they’re expensive, inaccessible for most men, and from the male perspective, shockingly unreliable. I would say that porn has raised the bar somewhat—it’s bound to be seriously annoying when Little Miss Real Life won’t give head when Jane Pornstar is twice as hot and is cheerfully performing all sorts of acrobatic stunts. And if you think about it, is a real woman who is average and only wants to have missionary-style sex once a week, minus a week for her period, actually any better than a wide variety of gorgeous porn stars catering to every bizarre fetish the Japanese can imagine and available on demand? It’s not quite so clear once you put it in those terms. The biggest communication problem is that most women see “relationship” as a positive thing. Most men see it as an ambiguous thing. So, when the selling point of Little Miss Real Life over Jane Pornstar is “relationship,” you can see where it’s not going to be very appealing. I don’t think there’s much of a “fuck you” element, though. The guys who think that way tend to be the players, particularly the Sigma players. A lot of the guys who opt out aren’t particularly angry at women, they just don’t see much point to pursuing involvement with them.40
Are video games that good, or are they giving those 76 percent of men who have to share 24 percent of the women a place to go where they feel good, masculine and alive, and where they feel more like an Alpha? Or as James Taranto of the Wall Street Journal said about guys who prefer video games to girls: “there’s a reason they’re attracted to that particular pursuit. Video games are a simulacrum of masculine virtue: challenge, mastery, control.”41 The Alpha question? That will have to be a question for future research. Meanwhile, let’s toss in some real-life guys who can shed more light on the marriage question.
WHAT MEN IN THE GYM AND AT THE BAR ARE SAYING ABOUT MARRIAGE
Eight out of ten girls my age today are “sketchy.”
—Twenty-three-year-old Max at the gym on why men don’t want to get married early
Marriage is a dying concept.
—Twenty-four-year-old Jamie, when asked why men don’t get married as often
I continued my search for everyday men out and about in the world and decided that the local gym might be a good place to informally target men who might be willing to talk about their views on marriage. I had been watching young and middle-aged men at a local gym for weeks and sizing up a few as potential interviewees. As I stared and watched many of them working out with weights, I caught their eyes and was a bit afraid that they thought I was a cougar on the prowl for some fresh prey. If only they knew it wasn’t that exciting. I was just there trying to find some potential research victims.
I finally approached a guy named “Max” who agreed to participate when I explained my book and need for his input. He seemed a bit reluctant at first, but when I told him that his interview would be anonymous and his name would be changed, he agreed. I could tell that he wasn’t sure if he should say anything negative and searched my face for a reaction. When he saw that I wasn’t upset or angered by anything that he said, he seemed to speak more openly about how men feel about marriage and women.
Max was a thoughtful twenty-three-year-old, muscular, white college student with blond hair from Michigan who told me up front that he had a girlfriend. “Do you want to get married?” I asked, to which he replied, “yes,” but admitted he was one of the “lucky” ones. When I asked him why, he stated that his girlfriend was trustworthy and honest, kind of like himself. He had been dating her for about a year and things had been going well.
He was raised by a single mother and his father left when he was young. His stepfather came into the home and acted as his dad, and his mother became a very happy person. “It was so much better with my stepfather there. My mother wasn’t lonely anymore. One of my uncles
