Curious Epitaphs. Various

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this place lies the body of

       Joseph Cave,

       Late of this parish;

       Who departed this life Nov. 18, 1747,

       Aged 79 years.

      He was placed by Providence in a humble station; but industry abundantly supplied the wants of nature, and temperance blest him with content and wealth. As he was an affectionate father, he was made happy in the decline of life by the deserved eminence of his eldest son,

      Edward Cave,

      who, without interest, fortune, or connection, by the native force of his own genius, assisted only by a classical education, which he received at the Grammar School of this town, planned, executed, and established a literary work called

      The Gentleman’s Magazine,

      whereby he acquired an ample fortune, the whole of which devolved to his family.

      Here also lies

       The body of William Cave,

      second son of the said Joseph Cave, who died May 2, 1757, aged 62 years, and who, having survived his elder brother,

      Edward Cave,

      inherited from him a competent estate; and, in gratitude to his benefactor, ordered this monument to perpetuate his memory.

He lived a patriarch in his numerous race, And shew’d in charity a Christian’s grace: Whate’er a friend or parent feels he knew; His hand was open, and his heart was true; In what he gain’d and gave, he taught mankind A grateful always is a generous mind. Here rests his clay! his soul must ever rest, Who bless’d when living, dying must be blest.

      The well-known blacksmith’s epitaph, said to be written by the poet Hayley, may be found in many churchyards in this country. It formed the subject of a sermon delivered on Sunday, the 27th day of August, 1837, by the then Vicar of Crich, Derbyshire, to a large assembly. We are told that the vicar appeared much excited, and read the prayers in a hurried manner. Without leaving the desk, he proceeded to address his flock for the last time; and the following is the substance thereof: “To-morrow, my friends, this living will be vacant, and if any one of you is desirous of becoming my successor he has now an opportunity. Let him use his influence, and who can tell but he may be honoured with the title of Vicar of Crich. As this is my last address, I shall only say, had I been a blacksmith, or a son of Vulcan, the following lines might not have been inappropriate:—

My sledge and hammer lie reclined, My bellows, too, have lost their wind; My fire’s extinct, my forge decayed, And in the dust my vice is laid. My coal is spent, my iron’s gone, My nails are drove, my work is done; My fire-dried corpse lies here at rest, And, smoke-like, soars up to be bless’d.

      If you expect anything more, you are deceived; for I shall only say, Friends, farewell, farewell!” The effect of this address was too visible to pass unnoticed. Some appeared as if awakened from a fearful dream, and gazed at each other in silent astonishment; others for whom it was too powerful for their risible nerves to resist, burst into boisterous laughter, while one and all slowly retired from the scene, to exercise their future cogitations on the farewell discourse of their late pastor.

      From Silkstone churchyard we have the following on a potter and his wife:—

      In memory of John Taylor, of Silkstone, potter, who departed this life, July 14th, Anno Domini 1815, aged 72 years.

      Also Hannah, his wife, who departed this life, August 13th. 1815, aged 68 years.

Out of the clay they got their daily bread, Of clay were also made. Returned to clay they now lie dead, Where all that’s left must shortly go. To live without him his wife she tried, Found the task hard, fell sick, and died. And now in peace their bodies lay, Until the dead be called away, And moulded into spiritual clay.

      On a poor woman who kept an earthenware shop at Chester, the following epitaph was composed:—

Beneath this stone lies Catherine Gray, Changed to a lifeless lump of clay; By earth and clay she got her pelf, And now she’s turned to earth herself. Ye weeping friends, let me advise, Abate your tears and dry your eyes; For what avails a flood of tears? Who knows but in a course of years, In some tall pitcher or brown pan, She in her shop may be again.

      Our next is from the churchyard of Aliscombe, Devonshire:—

      Here lies the remains of James Pady, brickmaker, late of this parish, in hope that his clay will be re-moulded in a workmanlike manner, far superior to his former perishable materials.

Keep death and judgment always in your eye, Or else the devil off with you will fly, And in his kiln with brimstone ever fry: If you neglect the narrow road to seek, Christ will reject you, like a half-burnt brick!

      In the old churchyard of Bullingham, on the gravestone of a builder, the following lines appear:—

This humble stone is o’er a builder’s bed, Tho’ raised on high by fame, low lies his head. His rule and compass are now locked up in store. Others may build, but he will build no more. His house of clay so frail, could hold no longer— May he in heaven be tenant of a stronger!

      In Colton churchyard, Staffordshire, is a mason’s tombstone decorated with carving of square and compass, in relief, and bearing the following characteristic inscription:—

Sacred to the memory of James Heywood, Who died May 4th, 1804, in the 55th year of his age.
The corner-stone I often times have dress’d; In Christ, the corner-stone, I now find rest. Though by the Builder he rejected were, He is my God, my Rock, I build on here.

      In the churchyard of Longnor, the following quaint epitaph is placed over the remains of a carpenter:—

In Memory of Samuel Bagshaw late of Har- ding-Booth who depar- ted this life June the 5th 1787 aged 71 years.
Beneath lie mouldering into Dust A Carpenter’s Remains. A man laborious, honest, just: his Character sustains. In seventy-one revolving Years He sow’d no Seeds of Strife; With Ax and Saw, Line, Rule and Square, employed his careful life. But Death who view’d his peaceful Lot His Tree of Life assail’d His Grave was made upon this spot, and his last Branch he nail’d.

      Here are some witty lines on a carpenter named John Spong, who died 1739, and is buried in Ockham churchyard:—

Who many a sturdy oak has laid along, Fell’d by Death’s surer hatchet, here lies John Spong. Post oft he made, yet ne’er a place could get And lived by railing, tho’ he was no wit. Old saws he had, although no antiquarian; And stiles corrected, yet was no grammarian. Long lived he Ockham’s favourite architect, And lasting as his fame a tomb t’ erect, In vain we seek an artist such as he, Whose pales and piles were for eternity.

      Our next is from Hessle, near Hull, and is said to have been inscribed on a tombstone placed over the remains of George Prissick, plumber and glazier:—

Adieu, my friend, my thread of life is spun; The diamond will not cut, the solder will not run; My body’s

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