miscarriage of that initiatory experiment was due to precipitance, incubation of my perverse instinct being not yet complete. A hiatus of a month now supervened, in which, while further fellatio was not attempted, my mind came always nearer to a reconcilement with the grossness of the act, and began to discover for its creatures some correlation in pretty boys beheld in the flesh. One evening, in Broadway, I conceived suddenly a full-fledged desire for a youth issuing from an hotel as I passed. Our glances met and dwelled together. At a shop-window he first accosted me. He was an invert. With him, in his room at the hotel whence I had seen him emerge, I passed an apocalyptic night. Thereafter commerce with boys only in the spirit ceased to be an end; the images were carnalized, stepped from their framework into the streets. That boy, that god out of the machine, I see him clearly: his brown, curling hair; his eyes blue as the sea; his chest both arched and so plump, his rounded arms, his taper waist, the graceful swell of his hips and full, snowy thighs; I recall as of yesterday the dimples in his knees, the slenderness of his ankles, the softness of his little feet, with insteps pink like the inside of a shell. How I gloated over his ample roundness, his rich undulations!
"In the last eight years I have performed fellatio (never pedicatio) with more than three hundred men and boys. My preference is for boys between 15 and 20, refined, pretty, girlish, and themselves homosexual.
"Personally, barring this love for males, I am in all ways masculine, given to outdoor sports, and to smoking and drinking moderately. In appearance I am but a boy of 18. My face and figure are generally considered beautiful: I am clean-shaved, with black, curling hair, red cheeks and brown eyes; features delicate and regular; body, of medium height, everywhere practically hairless. By years of training I have attained alike great strength and classic proportions, the muscular contours smoothly rounded with adipose tissue. My hands and feet are small. My penis, though perfectly shaped, is rather enormous—erect, ten and a half inches in length, seven and a quarter inches in circumference.
"Some abetment of my apostasy from orthodox methods was, no doubt, this hypertrophy of the penis, which already in my twentieth year had acquired its present redundance, rendering coitus impracticable with most women I essayed and painful where insertion was effected. Since falling heir to inversion, a unique recurrence of normal desire, six years ago, persuaded me to attempt coitus with eleven or twelve prostitutes, and, strangely enough, with much of the old-time salacity and full erection, but, as it chanced, always with too great disparity of parts for success."
A certain preciosity in the manner of this communication may be put down partly to the nature of the literary avocations with which the writer is by preference occupied, and partly, no doubt more fundamentally, to the special character of his predominantly esthetic temperament and attraction to the exotic. An attraction for exotic experiences will not, however, suffice to account for the rather late development of homosexual tendencies, a late development which may be held to place this case in the retarded group of inverts. H. C. has himself pointed out to me that his aversion to women, beginning to appear in the eighteenth year, was already well pronounced before he had ever heard definitely of specific homosexual acts, and fully a year before he experienced the slightest sexual interest in men or boys. Moreover, while it is true that the actual tendency to homosexual attraction only appeared after he had read Krafft-Ebing and come in contact with inverts, such influences would not suffice to change the sexual nature of a normally constituted man.
It may be added that H. C. is not attracted to normal males. As regards his moral attitude he remarks: "I have no scruples in the indulgence of my passion. I perceive the moral objections advanced, but how speculative they are, and constructive; while, immediately, inversion is the source of so much good." He looks upon the whole sexual question as largely a matter of taste.
I regard the foregoing case as of considerable interest. It presents what is commonly supposed to be a very common type of inversion, Oscar Wilde being the supreme exemplar, in which a heterosexual person apparently becomes homosexual by the exercise of intellectual curiosity and esthetic interest. In reality the type is far from common; indeed, an intellectual curiosity and an esthetic interest, strong enough even apparently to direct the sexual impulse in any new channel, are themselves far from common. Moreover, a critical reading of this history suggests that the apparent control over the sexual impulse by reason is merely a superficial phenomenon. Here, as ever, reason is but a tool in the hands of the passions. The apparent causes are really the results; we are witnessing the gradual emergence of a retarded homosexual impulse.
HISTORY XXVIII.—English, aged 40, surgeon. Sexual experiences began early, about the age of 10, when a companion induced him to play at intercourse with their sisters. He experienced no pleasure. A little later a servant-girl began to treat him affectionately and at last called him into her bedroom when she was partially undressed, fondled and kissed his member, and taught him to masturbate her. On subsequent occasions she attempted a simulation of intercourse, which gave her satisfaction, but failed to induce emission in him. On returning to school mutual masturbation was practised with schoolfellows, and the first emission took place at the age of 14.
On leaving school he became a slave to the charms of women, and had frequent coitus about the age of 17, but he preferred masturbating girls and especially in persuading girls of good position, to whom the experience was entirely novel, to allow him to take liberties with them. At 25 he became engaged, and mutual masturbation was practised to excess during the engagement; after marriage connection generally took place twice every twenty-four hours until pregnancy.
"At this time," he writes, "I stayed at the house of an old school-fellow, due of my lovers of old days. There were so many guests that I shared my friend's bedroom. The sight of his body gave rise to lustful feelings, and when the light was out I stole across to his bed. He made no objection, and we passed the night in mutual masturbation. We passed the next fortnight together, and I never took the same pleasure in coitus with my wife, though I did my duty. She died five years later, and I devoted myself heart and soul to my friend until his death by accident last year. Since then I have lost all interest in life."
I am indebted for this case to a well-known English alienist, who remarks that the patient is fairly healthy to look at, but with neurasthenia and tendency to melancholia, and neurotic temperament. The body is masculine and pubic hair abundant. One testicle shows wasting.
HISTORIES XXIX AND XXX.—I give the following narrative in the words of an intimate friend of one of the cases in question: "My attention was first drawn to the study of inversion—though I then regarded all forms of it as depraving and abominable—at a public school, where in our dormitory a boy of 15 initiated his select friends into the secrets of mutual masturbation, which he had learned from his brother, a midshipman. I gave no heed to this at the time, though I remembered it in after-years when immersed in Plato, Lucretius, and the Epicurean writers. But my attention was riveted to it at the age of 20, when I spent a holiday with A., a companion with whom I was, and still am, on terms of great friendship. We enjoyed many things in common, studied together and discussed most unconventional matters, but not this. Previously we had always occupied separate sleeping apartments; on this occasion we were abroad in a country place, and were compelled to put up with what we could get. We not only had to share a room, but a bed. I was not surprised at his throwing his arm over me, as I knew he was extraordinarily attached to me, and I had always felt a brute for not returning his affection so warmly. But I was surprised when later I awoke to find him occupied in fellatio and endeavoring to obtain my response. Had it been anyone else I should have resented strongly such a liberty, and our acquaintance would have ended, but I cared for him too well, though never very demonstrative. This episode led to discussion of the topic. He told me that his sexual strength was great, that he had tested it in many ways, and that it was essential to his well-being that he should have satisfaction in some way. He loathed prostitution and considered it degrading; he felt physically attracted to some women and intellectually to others, but the two elements were never combined, and though he had been intimate with a few he felt that it was not right to them, as he could not marry them because he held too high an ideal of marriage.
