Oh! the town’s new teacher!
With cozening laugh, and hollow cheek,
To get new gatherings every week,
With paltry sense as man can speak,
With some small Hebrew, and no Greek,
With hums and haws when stuff’s to seek;
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
With hair cut shorter than the brow,
With little band, as you know how,
With cloak like Paul, no coat I trow,
With surplice none, nor girdle now,
With hands to thump, nor knees to bow;
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
With shop-board breeding and intrusion,
By some outlandish institution,
With Calvin’s method and conclusion,
To bring all things into confusion,
And far-stretched sighs for mere illusion;
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
With threats of absolute damnation,
But certainty of some salvation
To his new sect, not every nation,
With election and reprobation,
And with some use of consolation;
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
With troops expecting him at door
To hear a sermon and no more,
And women follow him good store,
And with great Bibles to turn o’er,
Whilst Tom writes notes, as bar-boys score,
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
With double cap to put his head in,
That looks like a black pot tipp’d with tin;
While with antic gestures he doth gape and grin;
The sisters admire, and he wheedles them in,
Who to cheat their husbands think no sin;
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
With great pretended spiritual motions,
And many fine whimsical notions,
With blind zeal and large devotions,
With broaching rebellion and raising commotions,
And poisoning the people with Geneva potions;
’Tis a new teacher, etc.
THE NEW LITANY.
From the King’s pamphlets, British Museum. Satires in the form of a litany were common from 1646 to 1746, and even later.
From an extempore prayer and a godly ditty,
From the churlish government of a city,
From the power of a country committee,
Libera nos, Domine.
From the Turk, the Pope, and the Scottish nation,
From being govern’d by proclamation,
And from an old Protestant, quite out of fashion,
Libera, etc.
From meddling with those that are out of our reaches,
From a fighting priest, and a soldier that preaches,
From an ignoramus that writes, and a woman that teaches,
Libera, etc.
From the doctrine of deposing of a king,
From the Directory, [2] or any such thing, From a fine new marriage without a ring, Libera, etc.
From a city that yields at the first summons,
From plundering goods, either man or woman’s,
Or having to do with the House of Commons,
Libera, etc.
From a stumbling horse that tumbles o’er and o’er,
From ushering a lady, or walking before,
From an English-Irish rebel, newly come o’er, [3] Libera, etc.
From compounding, or hanging in a silken altar,
From oaths and covenants, and being pounded in a mortar,
From contributions, or free-quarter,
Libera, etc.
From mouldy bread, and musty beer,
From a holiday’s fast, and a Friday’s cheer,
From a brother-hood, and a she-cavalier,
Libera, etc.
From Nick Neuter, for you, and for you,
From Thomas Turn-coat, that will never prove true,
From a reverend Rabbi that’s worse than a Jew,
Libera, etc.
From a country justice that still looks big,
From swallowing up the Italian fig,
Or learning of the Scottish jig,
Libera, etc.
From being taken in a disguise,
From believing of the printed lies,
From the Devil and from the Excise, [4] Libera, etc.
From a broken pate with a pint pot,
For fighting for I know not what,
And from a friend as false as a Scot,
Libera, etc.
From one that speaks no sense, yet talks all that he can,
From an old
