of depravity; still more so, that he should not have the grace which even the most hardened are not wholly destitute of—I mean to practise immorality in secret, and not degrade themselves and insult their captain by unblushingly avowing (I may say glorying in) their iniquity, by exposing it in broad day, and in the most frequented street of the town.”
“Sir!” replied I, with astonishment, “O dear! what have I done?”
The captain fixed his keen eyes upon me, so that they appeared to pierce me through, and nail me to the wall. “Do you pretend to say, sir, that you were not aware of the character of the person with whom you were walking just now?”
“No, sir,” replied I, “except that she was very kind and good-natured;” and then I told him how she had addressed me, and what subsequently took place.
“And is it possible, Mr. Simple, that you are so great a fool?” I replied that I certainly was considered the greatest fool of our family. “I should think you were,” replied he, dryly. He then explained to me who the person was with whom I was in company, and how any association with her would inevitably lead to my ruin and disgrace.
I cried very much, for I was shocked at the narrow escape which I had had, and mortified at having fallen in his good opinion. He asked me how I had employed my time since I had been at Portsmouth, and I made an acknowledgment of having been made tipsy, related all that the midshipmen had told me, and how I had that morning fought a duel.
When I had finished, he said, “Mr. Simple, I can no longer trust you on shore until you are more experienced in the world. I shall desire my coxswain not to lose sight of you until you are safe on board of the frigate.”
Altogether I did not feel sorry when it was over. I saw that the captain believed what I had stated, and that he was disposed to be kind to me, although he thought me very silly. The coxswain, in obedience to his orders, accompanied me to the Blue Post. I packed up my clothes, paid my bill, and the porter wheeled my chest down to the Sally Port, where the boat was waiting.
“Come, heave a-head, my lads, be smart. The captain says we are to take the young gentleman on board directly. His liberty’s stopped for getting drunk and running after the Dolly Mops!”
“I should thank you to be more respectful in your remarks, Mr. Coxswain,” said I with displeasure.
“Mister Coxswain! thanky, sir, for giving me a handle to my name,” replied he. “Come, be smart with your oars, my lads!”
“La, Bill Freeman,” said a young woman on the beach, “what a nice young gentleman you have there. He looks like a sucking Nelson. I say, my pretty young officer, could you lend me a shilling?”
I was so pleased at the woman calling me young Nelson, that I immediately complied with her request. “I have not a shilling in my pocket,” said I, “but here is half-a-crown, and you can change it, and bring me back the eighteen-pence.”
“Well you are a nice young man,” replied she, taking the half-crown; “I’ll be back directly, my dear.”
The men in the boat laughed, and the coxswain desired them to shove off.
“No,” observed I, “you must wait for my eighteen-pence.”
“We shall wait a devilish long while, then, I suspect. I know that girl, and she has a very bad memory.”
“She cannot be so dishonest or ungrateful,” replied I. “Coxswain, I order you to stay—I am an officer.”
“I know you are, sir, about six hours old; well then, I must go up and tell the captain that you have another girl in tow, and that you won’t go on board.”
“O no, Mr. Coxswain, pray don’t; shove off as soon as you please, and never mind the eighteen-pence.”
The boat then shoved off, and pulled towards the ship, which lay at Spithead.
Chapter Five.
I am introduced to the quarter-deck, and first lieutenant, who pronounces me very clever—Trotted below to Mrs. Trotter—Connubial bliss in a cock-pit—Mrs. Trotter takes me in, as a messmate.
On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note, looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another lieutenant, “The service is going to the devil. Here’s another of the fools of a family made a present of to the country—another cub for me to lick into shape. Well, I never saw the one yet I did not make something of. Where’s Mr. Simple?”
“I am Mr. Simple, sir,” replied I, very much frightened at what I had overheard.
“Now, Mr. Simple,” said the first lieutenant, “observe and pay particular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note that you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in that way. I have looked attentively at your face and I see at once that you are very clever, and if you do not prove so in a very short time, why—you had better jump overboard, that’s all. Perfectly understand me. I know that you are a very clever fellow, and having told you so, don’t you pretend to impose upon me, for it won’t do.”
I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation.
“Quarter-master,” said the first lieutenant, “tell Mr. Trotter to come on deck.”
The quarter-master brought up Mr. Trotter, who apologised for being so dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short, thickset man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red club to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers.
“Mr. Trotter,” said the first lieutenant, “here is a young gentleman who has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock slung. You must look after him a little.”
“I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir,” replied Mr. Trotter, “but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster.” Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another, and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which, when I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit.
“Now, youngster,” said Mr. Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest, “you may do as you please. The midshipmen’s mess is on the deck above this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you as a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly; the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs. Trotter is on board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be here directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net of potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permission for you to mess with us.” I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived a pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us, and it proved that they belonged to Mrs. Trotter, who came down the ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes.
“Upon my word, Mrs. Trotter, you must be conscious of having a
